The Third Diary
by NamelessNarrator
Summary: [-PART SIX OF OF BLAZING LIGHT'S STORY-] Gods play games with mortals and those who defy them are driven to insanity. What about those who help them though? As it turns out, their fate is no different as Blazing Light learns when he's once again forcefully thrown into the world of living. Can the unicorn who turned on himself be forced to accept hope?
1. In Sanity

Small room.

White walls.

Iron door.

Barred window.

Sink.

Bed.

Toilet.

None of that should be here. That the 'here' shouldn't exist is more of a problem though. Perhaps looking out of the window might explain something... do I care? I am here. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be anywhere anymore.

I'm sitting on the bed, hind legs wrapped in a blanket.

"At least it's warm in here," I mumble.

The bed is comfortable but the longer I'm awake the more the little gears in my head turn. The world suddenly becomes a puzzle to be solved again.

*Sigh*

I get up, regretting leaving the warm cocoon as my hooves touch the colder floor.

*Clip clop scratch scratch.*

"What?" I look downwards.

I should have four hooves. Why do I have a set of talons on each of my front legs?

Quickly tapping my face, careful not to put an eye out with the unknown appendages, I breathe out in relief.

Relief... do I really care what's going on? Maybe it's just the knowledge that things are like they used to be, the calm feeling of familiarity.

Well, I still have a muzzle so I'm not a griffon. I still have hooves on my hind legs so everything is fine. I'm just some sort of unholy abomination of nature, no problem there.

Shuffling to the window, can't pick up any reasonable pace, vision blurry, pressing my muzzle against the cold glass.

There's a city outside. Tall buildings made of steel and glass, shattered, broken, reduced to rubble as far as my crappy eyes can see. If I were to be honest, I would say all I see is some sort of weird, blurry forest of thick, grey, rectangular trees.

I don't need to see to know where I am though. I've been here before. Not 'here' here but in the city. Princess Luna told me once this was the inner landscape of my mind. The city of Manehattan torn apart by earthquakes, tornadoes, and fires, left alone and empty. Somehere out there should be a campsite where I managed to clear out the rubble, pitch a tent, and start bringing some sense into my life.

I failed.

"And nopony was surprised, nor did anypony care," I mumble and grin to myself. Experimentally, I try to telekinetically rattle the window. Not a twitch. Another tap, this time on my forehead, reveals that I, in fact, don't have a horn.

As I scratch my head, something the newfound talons make super effective and easy, a bit of bronze-colored fur falls out.

"Clean-up in aisle five, pleeease," I croak in the most official voice my dry throat can muster.

"Yes, boss," I salute, pick the few strands up and flush them down the sink.

A drink is refreshing but serves mostly to accentuate how hungry I really am. Well, starving inside my own mind might sound like a terrible thing but I've been through worse. Facing evil forces, suppressing dark gods invading my head, losing those I thought were close to me and would never betray me-

The world shakes and several still standing buildings outside tilt. With geological slowness they crack, bend, and tear everything in the path of their fall.

\- all that is just a fraction of what happened to me.

This is my reward, a cell inside my own head.

At least it's warm and clean and, if I'm correct, my stay here won't be long.

*Click*

Keys rattle from the door and I look away from the window, now simply bored when the solution to where I am has been found. The 'why' should be answered soon enough if I'm any judge of the situation. To be precise, the 'why am I not dead?' why.

"Heavy Hoof?" I squint at the white and blue blur opening the door. Yeah, it's an earthpony of godlike proportions with long, blue mane and long fur of the same colour around his fetlocks, "You-you shouldn't be here. What are you doing here? You should be out there in the real world, not here wasting time with me."

That much effort put into talking makes my vision hazy - correction, even hazier than before - and I have to stop and take a deep breath. It's okay, he can't really be here. This Heavy Hoof is just a construct of my mind.

"Nonsense, it is us wardens' duty to protect the patients. Either from others... or from themselves."

"Our?" I stumble but his strong hoof helps me stay steady.

I don't mind seeing Heavy here. It's understandable he'd be in my head. If there ever was somepony who made an impression on me it's him. I wanted to be like him - honest, strong, open, friendly, and able to deal with anything. Unfortunately, during the four years I've known him I just managed to be me, a useless coward who got lucky higher amount of times than his IQ was.

"I'm not the only one working here, of course," Heavy ruffles my mane.

I'm sure he isn't, that's not the problem. That one lies in whether or not I want to meet any of those who are surely around.

Unfortunately, it's not my choice. The second 'warden' walks into the room and I hang my head, trying to avoid eye contact.

The pure white griffon enters, holding a leash. Even though I can't see his emerald green eyes I know they have to be drilling into me. Or possibly not... this is the inside of my head so who knows how everpony is going to behave.

"The head psychiatrist wants to see you, Blaze," says Heavy when the tether is fastened around my neck, "It's time for him to make you feel better."

"About myself?" I snicker, "Not going to happen, Heavy."

"All of us just want you to get better," says the griffon patronizingly.

It's not as if I need to watch what I'm saying. As far as I'm concerned I'm dead and all this is just my rapidly fading consciousness. Not that I have the strength to be angry.

"Well, Cromach, that was working until you and Chokey decided I sucked so much ass that you had to leave me... to fight against the Nightmare - you know, Discord, Harmony, Nightmare, those omnipotent guys - alone."

 _Suppress. Suppress. Suppress. Don't start crying. Unimportant. Don't remember how scared you felt. Don't think about the dark whispers in your head. Don't think about a horde of undead homing on you. Don't think about Nightmare taking over your body._

 _It's all over. I won. There was a price but that was small compared to what I gave everypony. Safety, peace, tomorrow. It doesn't matter I gave mine up._

"We've always been with you. You didn't forget about us and everything you did was influenced by us. We will help you as many times as you need."

Pfff, too bad. My body got destroyed, I was in the waiting room of sweet oblivion, and when Harmony gave me a chance to return I gave up and refused. There was nothing to return to aside from you...

...a memory I had of you.

"Let's get this over with. I don't care about whatever this is. You are not real, I am not real anymore. This place isn't real," my legs tremble and strength leaves my body. It's getting harder and harder to even stand. Perhaps I should lie down, close my eyes, and maybe I won't wake up anymore. One can only hope.

I turn away and take few wobbly steps towards the bed.

Heavy and Crom exchange glances and a tug on my leash stops me.

"We can't let you hurt yourself again," Cromach grabs me with his talons and puts me on Heavy's back.

For a moment, just a tiny moment, I remember how much I miss him doing that - just picking me up, cuddling with me, falling asleep with his wings wrapped around me. The fraction of a second is enough though.

Perhaps I made a mistake. Maybe coming back was a good idea. After all, I've forgiven ponies for worse things done to me. Heh, forgiving them was easy. After all, they hurt me of all ponies so not much harm done, not much sympathy wasted.

"Perhaps you should work on forgiving yourself?" says a different voice which wakes me up from my dizzy slumber.

I'm lying on a therapy sofa in a comfortable looking office. The imaginary wardens must have brought me here to see the 'head' psychiatrist.

"Since when do I have a headcracking degree?" I sneer at the unicorn sitting behind a mahagony desk with mess of papers covering it.

Pink eyes lock with mine and the blue-maned, black unicorn sighs.

"You've always had an interest in psychology. You wanted to understand ponies. You wanted to see how they worked through logic and not emotions, like machines. You were a scared colt who grew into a terrified stallion and to cope with that you kept killing your own fear until it was too late. The fear you got rid of was fear for your life. You built a wall around yourself nopony could get over and you broke into pieces while cursing loneliness. Ironic, isn't it?"

"Not really, I just got what I deserved," I sit up and look hard at Mistake, "Listen, why is this happening? I decided that I wanted peace more than anything, that I didn't want to return to the world of living. Why am I here? Is this some sort of final self-judgement before I go to Tartarus or what?"

Mistake stands up from behind his desk, walks past my therapy couch, and straight to a tall mirror.

"The answer to that is simple, yet not surprising. Come here and have a look."

"Damn," I force myself to stand and curse when my new talons rip the couch, "Does breaking stuff here give me a nosebleed or something?"

"Honestly," Mistake grins, "I think a little drain bamage might only do you good."

I look into the mirror, having to almost plant my face into it to make out the details. What looks back is a pony-ish thing. My face is there all right but there are significant differences.

My blonde mane is now threaded with silvery grey, something which a pony of my age definitely shouldn't even know about.

"You have experienced horrors that only few can understand. Your 'body' reflects your experiences and memories," Mistake taps my back with his hoof but his reflection doesn't appear in the mirror.

I don't really look older, just more 'derelict'. Wreck of a mind, wreck of a life, wreck of a body. Speaking of a breakdown, I focus on random patches of shorter fur in my bronze coat. They itch a little and when I scratch one few strands of hair fall out.

"This one is a little weird. I thought it was happening because you held the stolen power of two gods but that wasn't it. I have a theory what it might be though."

"Enlighten me," I say with way too apparent lack of interest, "After all, you seem to be under the impression that it makes a difference."

"I hate to burst your protective bubble of sarcasm... who am I kidding, I love to break your stupid ideas," Mistake smiles widely and takes a deep breath, "Let me ask you something first. Why do you think your fate is in your hooves? I mean talons now."

The slow realization dawns.

"No. No. No. No. No-"

Damn gods! Damn everything! Why don't I get a say in what happens to me?

"-Why would she do that? She gave me a choice. SHE TOLD ME WHAT I WANTED MATTERED!"

I don't care that my talons are ripping the brown carpet of the office to shreds. The bile of helplessness rising in my stomach is reflected in the mirror and all I see is a bronze hippogriff silently opening his mouth full of sharp teeth, shaking in sync with the tremors of the world outside breaking.

"Yes," Mistake pulls earplugs out of his ears, "and you chose wrong."

"That doesn't matter. Harmony told me that I would get what I wanted. Finally, I would get what I was fighting for all that time. I would be... gone. My reward..."

"Perhaps what you believe you wanted wasn't what you really wanted. Perhaps, work with me here a little, there was a small part of you which realized that under all that imprinted inevitability of failure you believe in there was a tiny chance of things working out for you."

"Youuuuuuuu!" I hiss.

"I'm just a part of you."

"YOUUUUUUUU!" I swipe with my talons at Mistake.

Heavy weight lands on my back and a set of hooves carefully but firmly holds me down. Looking at Mistake's hooves with my muzzle in the carpet, I don't stop growling.

"Nurse!" Mistake calls.

"Coming!" comes from out of the office. I freeze as the door clicks open.

"You dirty bastard! Don't drag her into this!" I groan as the hooves on my back prevent any real movement.

"Why? Why shouldn't I use the only pony who has ever succeeded in stopping your insane death wish?"

"SHE DESERVES BETTER!"

"Don't be silly. She's shallow, selfish, and not even that good-looking. The only reason she's here is that she's the only mare of your age who has ever said something kind to you."

"What did you say?" I ask, rage turning into cold ice.

"That she's as bad as you. Simple, really. You two are a perfect match and the griffon who left you just because you turned into a changeling is a great third member of the relationship."

"Stop insulting them or I'll-"

"Nurse, calm him down."

I tense, expecting a needle in the neck or something forced down my throat. A second set of black hooves appears and a muzzle brushes my ear.

"I need you so don't take yourself away from me, please," the killing blow comes.

My struggle against the hooves holding me down is instantly over. I would have listened to anything she said, perhaps grumbled a little, but this was a low blow. As I stop moving the hooves immobilizing me help me back up. I don't look at her, I don't have the strength to. Instead, I turn back to the mirror. As expected, the only reflection there is me standing in an empty office.

"Calmed down a little?" Mistake asks.

"Still steaming."

"I'm simply repeating what you've been told once already."

"Huh? I don't remember... I would have punched anypony talking that bad about Chokey."

"Void told you when you first appeared in this world."

The alicorn of Death once told me I was the only pony thinking so highly about her and pondered whether or not she was worthy of me, not the other way around. Needless to say, I didn't listen at the time. Has anything changed?

*Sigh*

"Just for that, I'm giving you a second chance," I focus on the image in the mirror again and try to spot the differences. Few bronze strands litter the carpet under me.

"As I said, I have a theory. You can't handle the tension, the stress, and so can't your body. You are breaking yourself unconsciously."

"I am an oasis of peace, I mean rage, but definitely not stress. I'm not scared of anything, how can I be stressed?"

"Says the half-pony who suffered a meltdown few seconds ago."

"That was pure, unbridled fury, not stress."

"Yes. Answer me, what is rage? More exactly, why are you angry?"

"Because a god screwed me over, just like the other two before?"

"Would you be angry if you could just say to Harmony to go screw herself and ignore whatever she wanted?"

"Hmmm... no, actually no. I would have laughed and not listened to her."

"Then aren't you just angry because you are powerless? If you weren't there would be no need for anger as you would just do what you wanted."

"Point taken. Good analysis. What's the outcome though?"

"Are you really mad at Harmony?"

"Of course-"

I am not. Mistake notices the short pause.

*Siiiiigh*

"-not."

"Yes, you've never been the type to be mad at others. All the time it was - 'if only I was better' or 'I should have done things differently' without ever accepting that sometimes ponies are just assholes. You are an extreme egoist," he points a hoof at me.

"Whaaaaat? I've never put myself forward or anything. That's utter bullcrap!"

"Not in that way."

"Explain, brain."

"Everything that happens is your fault, everypony's pain is your doing, everypony around you is unhappy because YOU are not good enough. Guess what drove Chokey away? The fact that SHE couldn't handle YOU growing up while she just remained the same old irresponsible bat, you trying to shoulder the responsbility for everything. How is that your fault?"

"I... I could have been more tactful, made her think she was better?"

"In other words, lied to her."

"Positive reinforcement."

"Lies."

"White lies?"

"You've never believed in those."

"I'm starting to," I put a hoof- talons- leg- arm up, "I'm out of arguments. I gotta give you this one."

"I know, that wasn't the point."

"Hm?"

"I know I am right. You are the one dancing around the subject and clinging to the wall of illusions you built around yourself. It's just important for you to admit it, the metaphorical first step."

It's very annoying when the little voice in your head that's always right gets a semi-physical body and starts kicking your ass.

"So I'm angry at myself for things far out of my control."

"If only it was that simple."

"I should have guessed you weren't done talking."

"Done?" Mistake facehoofs, "We haven't even started. If this was a trip to a cinema in Canterlot you'd be just now buying overpriced popcorn. No, the point is that you indeed messed a lot of easy stuff up and you are right to be mad at yourself for it. The thing is everypony does that and they get over it while you never let go and make it fester inside and just like that we're right where we started. You need to forgive yourself and spark a little love for your own existence before anypony else can truly love you."

"I... I can't. I did terrible things. I caused ponies to live through atrocities they never should have. I killed, I murdered, I lied, I cheated. I became exactly what I've hated my whole life."

"I, I, I, I. There it is again."

"How would you put it then?"

"None of that happened because you wanted it to. Everything you got involved in was started by higher forces with their own goals. You stopped things from getting worse most of the time and THEY wanted more and more. In simple terms, you played the cards you were dealt."

"Are you trying to get me rid of the guilt by blaming others?"

"Not in the slightest. I'm just putting things into perspective."

As much as I try not to, I feel I'm losing ground here.

"I'm not gonna just let things go."

"You... have to. Still, I feel that what's bothering you isn't what happened after you had moved to Canterlot. I believe the problem is much much older."

"What does that have to do with the price of zap apples? My family is gone so there's no reason for me to bother with younger me."

"Oh dear."

"If that's supposed to calm me down then you're failing miserably."

"You don't remember what Discord told you in the desert..."

"Well, I was in extreme agony when my almost immortal body got chewed up by a dragon first, then fell down from the sky, and then spent weeks regenerating and rotting at the same time. You know? Up until then I didn't even think there was something as extreme agony, I thought the dial went pain-excruciating pain-agony. Wroooong yet again. You know the worst part? The pain would be fine after first week but the damn ITCHING! It kept going and going and going and going-"

"Should I call nurse Chokey to give you a hug?"

"Should I punch you in the face?"

"Not in your power at the moment. Well, back to the topic at hoof. Your father is alive. The first step towards letting go might be finding him."

"No."

"But-"

"N.O."

"You ran away from home! The only time he saw you after that was when you were wrapped in bandages with machines breathing and crapping for you."

"YES! AND EVEN THEN HE SAID THE THING IN THE INFIRMARY ROOM WASN'T HIS SON!"

"Why are you angry again? Think before answering. At least show me this little talk was tiny a bit useful."

"At him! He was a shitty father, terrible leader, and a braindead racist."

"Look into the mirror-"

I look at the hippogriff looking back.

"-the metaphorical one this time."

"Oh, the 'angry at myself' one. Well, I was a useless son. Not strong, not smart, not skilled."

"Now for the important question - why are you angry at yourself?"

"Because I can't do anything about it! I can't go back and be a better son. I can't go back, join some sort of fight club, and kick his ass whenever he got drunk and yelled at me. All I can do now when I'm far stronger than he's ever been is smash his skull to paste and what good that would be? The worst thing is that I can't make a hardheaded idiot like him see that it was his fault that killed my brother and my mother. I can't make HIM admit he made a mistake."

"Why is that important? Do you want to make him a better pony?"

"OF COURSE! He's my family and he'd have a much better rest of his life if he just learned to listen."

"You love so hard it hurts and from great love the greatest pain comes."

"Save it. I don't believe anymore he can see the light. I want to never see him again."

"Why-"

"DAMMIT! Stop asking 'why?' like a little foal."

"-do you think it's up to you to make him into a better pony? Again, you need to learn to let go otherwise," he points at the fur on the carpet, "it will consume you."

Breathing as if I've just finished a quick sprint, I grit my teeth.

"Mirror - teeth."

"There's still a lot you need to know before-"

"Mirror - teeth!"

"Don't try to run away again!"

"MIRROR - TEETH!"

The world trembles and Mistake looks around, eyes wide. He hangs his head and sighs again.

"Harmony made your body mirror the lessons you've been through just so you don't forget. The sharp fangs are from when you were transformed into a changeling by Chrysalis. The rest, believe it or not, is a standard muzzle of a hippogriff. From what you've heard they are omnivores."

I nod. There aren't many offspring of griffons and ponies but there's enough of them for me to have at least heard of them. Mostly from my father... wondering how a pony could fornicate with 'griffon filth'. Unicorn supremacists, am I right?

I don't need Mistake explaining the nature of streaks of black fur in my coat in places where the seams in changeling chitinous armor would be. That one is fairly simple. Neither do I need an explanation why, while my entire coat is bronze-coloured, my left front leg - arm, dammit! - is black.

"To remind you of the prosthesis you got when mirror world Applejack ripped your leg off," Mistake explains when my gaze lingers there a little longer.

"I got that one, thank you. I suppose my lack of a horn is to remember her breaking it off as well?"

"Actually, it is not. Harmony took your magic away from you because you lost who you were thanks to it."

"Not understanding but mildly curious."

"Same reason why you're fatter than when you served in the Nightguard. You got way too used to stealing somepony else's magic and using it for yourself. You lost the little things that made you you when you got hold of the power of the gods."

"Still a bit lost."

"Tell me, when was the last time you punched somepony?"

"Oh."

"Yes. The little unicorn who shunned magic and loved martial arts disappeared, lost within forces he didn't understand. You still have your naturally obscene magic resistance though. It's not all that bad though."

"I'm not too keen on having to learn to write with my talons and using mouth is inconvenient."

"Lazy ass. I'm still a part of you and I'm still a unicorn."

"Levitation?"

"Yep!"

"Counterspells?"

"Indeed. Not just that. Blink!"

I blink. Things are weird. I'm not sure how but something feels off.

Both eyes open. Normal.

Both eyes closed. Blind as a bat.

Right eye closed. Nothing changes.

Left eye closed.

"Whoa!"

The world is black but all items, edges, and even Mistake are sharply silhouetted by white lines.

"The memory of the spell you created to help you when you were blind. It is coupled with your special talent and can see through illusions and magical effects. Unfortunately, the real memory of your blindness leaves you with quite bad eyesight. Sorry about that."

"You say as if it was your fault."

Mistake scratches his head.

"Sort of. We're a unique split personality, you and me, and when Harmony gave you your choice... she also gave me mine. My answer was that you were a moron and she should listen only to me."

"So it's your fault I'm inevitably going back... out there."

"Yes."

"I'm not amused."

"I gathered that but... do you want to hear why you are a hippogriff?"

"Before I hippog-rip your head off? Please, go on."

"Might be less painful than THAT. Once again, you are too weak to do that-"

The building shakes as I bare my fangs.

"-oooor maybe you're getting stronger. Think! Why would I want you to be a part griffon, part pony?"

There is only one possible reason. Too bad Mistake is dead wrong. Both of them decided they didn't want to be around me anymore.

"Do you," I try to fake a smile as I stutter, "Do you really believe there is hope for us? No lies, no pretense. Do you really think there is some possibility of us being happy?"

"Yes, I do," the black unicorn says warmly.

I try to imagine myself seeing Chokey again, kissing her and Cromach, thanking Heavy Hoof for standing by my side...

...but I can't. There just isn't a place for me with them.

"I wish I could believe it," I mumble.

"We'll just have to take it step by step. By the way, why didn't you ask about your wings?"

"Don't care. Not flying. Ever. Life or death situation? I choose death instead of the 'possible splat' option."

The mere thought of me even looking from a first floor window makes my legs wobble. My wings are just for decoration as far as I'm concerned.

"Also, hippogriffs have different genitalia," Mistake coughs and whistles an innocent tune.

Smaller, I notice.

"Pfff, as if there was ever a chance of me using it aside from..." I look at my talons, something I didn't have as a pony. They are surprisingly agile and grabby, "Do you think I can make imaginary nurse Chokey pose for me a little?"

"Would you do that in real life?"

"Heck no!"

"Then I doubt you're going to do it here."

"I hate you," I state matter-of-factly.

"Angry hate?"

"Nope, just tired hate."

"I can make her and Crom give you a shower," Mistake grins.

"Interested again."

Mistake walks to the door of his office and knocks on it three times.

"The patient is done for today. Cromach, Choking, take him to the showers, please."

Perhaps Mistake isn't that bad. He's always been on my side even though we don't see eye-to-eye all the time. A bit of time sandwiched between a wet batpony and a muscular griffon can only do me good.

I rethink my improving mood as they lead me to a square room with padded floor, walls, and a grate in the middle. Cromach leaves and several seconds later reappears holding the nozzle of a hose.

Freezing water hits me like a cannonball.

I take everything back. Mistake's an asshole.


	2. Looked After, Looked For

"Hey, mister patient!" a careful but firm female voice comes from behind the metal door of my room in the 'asylum', "Are ya awake?"

What could imaginary Chokey want?

Sitting up on the bed, I have to grip the side to stop the world spinning around. I must admit the talons have their uses even though they still suck compared to hooves.

"Com-"

My attempt to stand up ends with me crumbling on the floor.

"-nngh!"

The noise must have tipped her off something is wrong because the door clicks and, key still in her mouth, nurse Chokey rushes to me.

Damn. I've had so little time during my last awakening to look at her. The dark red mane flowing on one side of her head while punkishly shaved on the other, the tail of the same color braided into a thin strand giving everypony a free look at her everything, the worried red eyes boring into me - all those red accessories contrasting with her charcoal black coat... everything grabs my attention by its neck and yells at me what I gave up.

The white jacket with red cross and the VERY unofficially short skirt are just the frosting on the cake.

"Are ya okay?" a pair of black hooves assists me in my attempt to at least sit up.

"Sorry, just... feeling weak," I have trouble keeping my eyes open despite just waking up.

*Sniff sniff*

"Yeah, the air seems heavy and stuffy. Fortunately for ya, I've got something that might help," she pulls a piece of paper out of her jacket and waves it in front of my face.

Even in my best shape I wouldn't have been able to read the passing blur but now, with my eyes completely screwed up, I don't even focus on it.

"All I see is the most beautiful pony that has ever graced this world," I mumble weakly. The warmth of her body propping me up is enough to clear my head a little and lighten what feels like entire world crushing me.

 _"Then why didn't you ever say it when you had the chance?"_

"What?" I twitch.

"I said 'that is so nice of you'," she ruffles my mane, "As for the paper, it's a form allowing you to go outside while accompanied by me or one of the wardens."

"Any idea why I feel so bad? Last time I was fine. Dizzy, but fine."

To be frank, the transition from the shower room back here sucked. One second I'm being hosed down with icy water, a moment later the same frozen feeling wakes me up in my bed feeling as if I've slept for a week... badly.

"I'm sorry, I just do what the head psychiatrist says. Perhaps he'll know what's wrong. Are you feeling well enough to let me wheel you out?"

"Wheel?"

"I've got a wheelchair outside. I though ya'd be happy to go out even for a while after being locked here for who knows how long."

"You don't know?"

"Well, ya know how it goes. Ya get used to the routine and have no idea what day of the week it is."

Or you just do what Mistake tells you to and when he's done with you he sends you back from wherever you came. Some dark corner of my head no doubt.

Speak of the devil himself, I'm not sure about him. I mean, I have no reason to distrust him after all he's done for me but a piece of myself that can override my own choices is something to be worried about, at least a little. I doubt he'd do anything to hurt me, don't get me wrong, but we seem to have a fairly different definition of 'good for me'.

My biggest problem is that he's right a lot of the time.

"Don't worry about it - urk!" I push myself up, "Can you- damn- can you grab the wheelchair before I kiss the floor again?"

"Oh! Right!" my beloved batpony runs outside where the clinking of moving machinery comes immediately after.

"Thanks," I slump on the chair and Chokey pushes me out of the room.

"Good morning!" 'warden' Cromach joins us for a moment, "It's nice and fresh outside. It'll do you good."

"You hosing me with ice water can't have helped," I grumble, "The only thing you should be hosing me with is... nevermind, to you it probably didn't happen anyway. "

Cromach doesn't even blink at that remark. This place apparently has its own rules which I don't know. My one and only real guide should, though. As we clear the asylum entrance and enter the gardens the sight of greenery sharply contrasting with the grey city outside of the walls marking the border of this place of rest.

"Mistake!" I shout as loudly as I can, which isn't much considering I can barely croak.

"You don't like being outside? It has to be better than the room," the black unicorn answers, slipping out of a tree shadow where I'm positive he wasn't a second ago.

"Two questions! Why do I feel as if I've been chewed up by a cow and why do the shades in my head seem to ignore when I say something inappropriate."

"The second one is simple - they react to what they need to. You calling them shades is very close to the truth. There is some personality your unconscious might have given them which you consciously didn't notice or allow yourself to notice."

"Allow myself?"

"Really? Do you really think that in your self-loathing state you'd let yourself see how much they truly cared for you?"

"One left me because I LOOKED different from what he wanted, the other left me because she cheated on me and didn't want to look at me because it made her feel guilty."

He shakes his head.

"You still don't understand. Why do you think their reflections here act as if no such thing happened?"

"Because you control them and use them to do what you want?" I shoot.

Mistake leans back and blinks for a while before recovering.

"You give me way too much credit."

Riiiight, because they obey HIM completely, not me.

"Any guess why I feel worse than before?" I return to the previous concern even though I'm getting a feeling that I know.

Mistake doesn't want to die which is what my choice would mean for both of us. He's gained too much power and self-awareness and now he thinks I'm a threat, that has to be it.

On the other hoof, breathing the fresh air out here in the garden and looking at the steel-grey sky makes the crushing weight of everything less of an issue.

"Perhaps it has got nothing to do with you as such?"

"You lost me there."

"Well, you aren't alive, technically... yet. The resurrection is still going on. Even a god like Harmony has to jump some serious hoops to get a soul refusing to return back to the world of living."

"What could be stopping one of the most powerful beings in existence?"

"A different source of divine power."

"Void," I breathe out, "He protects the departing souls from necromancy."

"Yes. Unfortunately, you not wanting to rise again is giving Harmony a lot of trouble and making the process take a long time. As far as I know at least a month has passed already in the real world."

"So I'm not alive yet and Void is protecting me. Probably not specifically me, especially after what I did to him, but his blanket protection is on my side. Which means..."

"Hm?" Mistake raises an eyebrow.

"Nothing."

Which means the resurrection can be stopped, possibly even from here. More of a reason to think Mistake wants me weak and unable to do anything about it.

"Do you want to go to the city?" Mistake asks.

"I'm not being held here?" I mumble.

"Not 'held' but 'kept safe'. There are things outside that might find you useful and tasty. Void isn't protecting souls just from unicorn necromancers and zebra voodoo. There are old creations of Discord and Nightmare roaming the space between worlds and making use of the unprotected."

"How do you know all that when I don't?"

"You absorbed the power of all three gods and their knowledge with it. A mortal mind isn't meant to withstand that. To protect you from going insane and losing yourself in so much information I shouldered most of it. You get connections and little bits here and there when you see or hear something unknown."

"So you know everything?"

"Heck no. I'm just like you only, well, not suicidal. I know a lot more in a direct fashion but most of what we knew is locked in our unconscious until we need it."

Keeping information out of my reach, eh? Well, if I'm in my head AND I have some sort of access to an unlimited source of information then I might be able to find out how to stop this and finally rest in peace.

"So, can I go outside?"

"You tell me. How do you feel?"

"Weak as a newborn kitten but Chokey can keep me company, can't she?"

"Sure, just be careful."

"What's the worst thing that could happen?"

He thinks for a moment.

"Welllll, last time Luna was here she got attacked by a fragment of the Nightmare whose power you stole. This place isn't exactly the friendliest holiday resort one can visit. Plus, since you are in some weird half-existence what I said earlier applies even to you. Things that look for lost souls can find and make use of you. Not just eat you, nooooo. They can suck you dry, break through to the real world while wearing your skin, and... spread. I personally think you should stay here until the resurrection is over."

I bet he does.

"I'm shaking already. Well, I would be if I had any energy to move. Chokey!" she looks at me as I call her and point towards a large gate leading out of the asylum premises, "Roll out!"

Mistake must be overreacting. This is my mind so I should have the ultimate power here. That, or he really has some ulterior motive. What could it be though? The longer I'm here the weaker I feel so probably something along the lines of weakening me enough and taking over my body after reviving?

I don't know, I really don't. On one hoof, he's never seemed to have much interest in the outside world. On the other, he's never really had a chance to do this before. Oh well, if I get worse I'll know I was right and have to act and if I'm too weak by then then what do I really have to lose? I don't want to return to the cold place called my life. Perhaps it would be better to just disappear and let him take over. He could make new friends, better ones. He probably wouldn't do so badly either, definitely at least better than I did.

*Siiigh*

"Something bothering ya?" Chokey asks as the only sound in this place is the wheels of the wheelchair crushing some gravel on the concrete road.

"Just thinking about the real you out there, about the time I still believed it was worth to keep trying."

"If ya don't ya get bored. Boredom sucks. Simple enough."

"Can't you ever take things seriously?!"

She reels back at my outburst but continues to push the wheelchair through the streets of broken Manehattan. My raised voice is lost in the jungle of rubble and skyscrapers broken in half.

"Sorry," she mumbles.

Great! Just great! Now, looking at her ears splayed back and her eyes focused firmly on the ground, I want Mistake to take over as soon as possible. Come to think of it, it's always been like - her trying to cheer me up, me being way too serious about everything. The problem is that things aren't usually as simple as she makes them to be.

Neither they are as bad as I make them to be, at least I learned that one important lesson.

*Sighing intensifies*

"No, I should be apologizing. For everything, mostly. I just react badly every single time something unexpected happens. When I have time to think about it I realize it was bad and I have to fix the damage my stupidity caused."

Whether it's the admission or the outside air I'm feeling strength return to my limbs.

"Aw come on, ya aren't THAT bad."

"Unfortunately, reality says otherwise. It's not as awful as I make it to be. I just wish I could skip the apologizing step and just not mess up in the first place."

"Hey, ya have always said that ya should turn your weakness into strength. If ya think about it ya have way more chances to improve yourself than other ponies."

"Heh," I snort, hiding a shocked chuckle, "That's a way to think about it, certainly. Unfortunately, I'd need more than one lifetime of that to make me at least go even with any normal pony."

"Good thing ya keep rising from the dead then, eh?"

"Heavens above, how I miss you, Chokey!"

 _What's stopping you from seeing me again?_

She is. Our past actions are.

"Huh?" I turn my head at her surprised voice just to see her looking around, "Have we been outside THAT long?"

The steel grey clouds above us are still moving at the same pace but the shadows around us are rapidly getting darker. It is completely plausible that my current resurrection is messing with my head and the entire landscape inside. On the other hoof, when were things ever easy for me?

*Siiiiiiiiiigh*

"You know... sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I wasn't right EVERY SINGLE DAMN TIME!"

The rush of adrenaline is enough to wash away my exhaustion and I jump out of the wheelchair. Focus, something to deal with is what I needed.

On cue, black smoke pours out of the windows of shattered buildings all around.

Whether it's some sort of monstrosity looking for me or Mistake's creation designed to destroy my personality I don't care. All I see is an enemy, a riddle to solve. If I can't punch it I have to run away until I can.

At least one thing is simple - there's only one way to run. Am I being led somewhere? Maybe. Do I care? Not really. Is it faster than a running pony? Of course.

A crossroad. Broken traffic lights hanging from bent steel poles. Smoke behind us. Breath sticking in my throat. The trotting of Chokey's hooves by my side. Pure joy.

Question numero uno - how do we get back to the asylum? Question numero dos - do I want to get back? Question numero I don't speak said language - will there be cake?

With just one glance behind me I see the entire street is blocked by wall of darkness getting closer and crushing rubble along the way. Here comes clue number one - crunching pieces of concrete slows it down albeit just by a tiny bit. Solution appears - take to any of the streets perpendicular to this one and try to go around through a partially standing building. That could give the darkness something to munch on while granting us some time.

Any better idea? Nope.

And so we flee to the left. I could have taken the right path but I'm just trying to be thematic.

"Chokey-haaah-got any-haah-ideas?" I croak, galloping between overturned carts and avoiding trash cans strewn all over the street.

"RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!" she keeps to my side. Knowing full well that she's way faster than me I'm grateful for that but can't resist making a little jab.

"Heh, thought so."

"I'M NOT DUMB!"

"Never-hah-said-hah-that-hah-and never-hah-will. Atleastnotinfrontofyou."

"Love ya too, dummy. Oh hey," she grins as she looks behind her and gets easily in front of me, "it's getting closer."

"LEFT!" I yell at her and she turns at almost right angle, "MALL!"

The malls in Manehattan are large complexes with a long central hall leading through it on sides of which there are various stores, large and small. Ignoring the decorative greenery, potted plants, and benches, I try to keep up with Chokey.

Of course... nothing could be easy.

There's a crack in the floor leading down into the cellar and the depths of the sewer system. It's too wide for me to jump across and I still have no feeling in my new wings. Thankfully, my claws are really good at gripping so when Chokey says-

"Jump on my back!"

-I gladly obey.

"Right here and now, you dirty-minded bat?"

"Oh shut up!" she groans. The problem is that I'm heavier than ever before. My hippogriff form is bigger, although not by a lot, and I seem to have gained weight without my guard training. Chokey's never been strong anyway which drastically hampers her speed.

The few pony lengths may as well take eternity, especially after such a long run, and chewing through the mass of concrete, steel, and glass is slowing the black mist far less than I thought it would. It gets close enough and its destruction makes a loadbearing wall crumble.

I manage to jump from Chokey's back to the other end of the gap. My movement pushes her down, however, and I hear a wet slap from behind followed by one of my hind legs being dragged back into the tear in the floor.

A piece of rubble must have hit Chokey as she's now hanging by my leg with her hooves slipping before my eyes and one wing completely limp.

She's either just a construct of my imagination or Mistake's creation he's been using to manipulate me. I could easily shake her off and run. She would want it and I have no doubt she'd reappear back in the asylum.

Surely...

Probably...

Maybe...?

That's why I ignore the pain in my sides and pull my leg up.

Bending like a pretzel, I catch a glimpse of her resigned look right before my talons grab her hoof and I heave. Slipping on the dusty floor, I pull her up.

"What? Are ya stupid?" she slaps me weakly with her hoof before we instinctively run again. Even this tired we can outrun the darkness while it has to demolish the mall.

"I couldn't just leave you, you idiot!" I yell, disbelieving my actions need explaining.

"Why? You hate me!"

"WHAAAAAAAT?!" I screech and stumble over a piece of broken pillar.

Focuuuuus!

Running again, we clear the other exit of the mall and I see the high walls of the asylum gardens on the horizon.

I also realize I know my surroundings.

Of course the asylum wouldn't be far away from THAT. Mistake wouldn't create a fortress far away from the little piece of sanity I built in this place.

The exit leads to a destroyed city square far smaller than the major ones but much less derelict. There is no rubble strewn around, there are no deep scars leading to the depths of the sewers, there is only a small brown tent with a campfire inexplicably still burning.

The campsite I built.

I stop here and so does Chokey.

"Eeeerm?" she looks at me, eyes wide and breathing raggedly.

I realize the asylum is unimportant, that the entire city is unimportant. This is the only place worth protecting right now. The one and only result of me finally fixing the mess I made of my life.

Something which would be impossible without Mistake.

If I don't have power here then I don't have power anywhere.

"Mistake!" I call out.

The black mist surrounds the clearing and is stopped by an invisible dome, the flames of the campfire get weaker, and the black unicorn appears, blue mane moving in the rising wind.

"Glad you're safe," he smiles, "but I'm not sure how long that's gonna last."

"I need to sort something out and I need you and the others for it," Mistake raises an eyebrow and Cromach appears, followed by Heavy. Chokey's comment cut deeper than any insult could have but it brought a little clarity with it. I need to know something, "Do all of you think I hate you?"

"Well duh!" Chokey waves her hoof around, "I know I deserve it for cheating on you and taking time off for myself so I didn't have to feel guilty."

"Yes, you have a good reason to," Cromach looks at the ground for a moment, "I turned on you when you needed me the most. Without my selfishness you would have still been alive and, hopefully, sleeping next to me. I was so quick to believe what the others said about you that I didn't even bother trying to find out the truth from you."

Heavy looks straight at me.

"You hate me because I am everything you've ever wanted to be but never had the strength or courage to become."

Every single confession is like a spike through my chest but none of them hurt more than what Mistake mumbles while looking at me through tearing up eyes.

"You... actually believed this," he points at the black storm raging outside of our little flickering dome of peace and safety, "was my doing. I failed you. I wasn't good enough to make you believe in me so I'm not going to stop or try to persuade you anymore. You were right all along. Well, not in me doing this to get rid of you but... you know what I mean."

Aside from Mistake all of them are what 'I' believe them to be. Is this really what I think?

AM I THAT STUPID?!

"I do have a habit of seeing the worst in everything and letting it get to me, don't I?" I smile sadly, "No, guys, I don't hate any of you. You are the biggest blessing I could have gotten and I didn't appreciate you because I was selfish. Mistake got it right."

The unicorn in question looks up, eyes wide.

Taking a deep breath, I return to the old days of me just being an emotionally unstable young colt who got at least one thing right.

A mirror appears, showing a bronze hippogriff.

"I hate YOU, you insecure trash! You didn't give Chokey a chance to recover from feeling pretty awful while staying your friend, possibly with benefits, ehm. Yeah, you had a good reason but you had an even better reason to stay with her and the reason was THAT SHE NEEDED YOU! That's the ONLY thing that should have mattered to you. You used to be like that once but somewhere, I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE, you started thinking you were WORTH MORE for some reason! You saved the world just for her, after all."

I look at Cromach and then back at my reflection.

"You didn't treat him much better, did you? You suspected that Nightmare had something to do with his acts in Golden Sands but instead of letting him explain you tried to avoid him in case you were wrong. You were weak and terrified of the truth and, honestly, you still are. You made Heavy promise he wouldn't let him talk you out of getting blasted by the Elements and you took the 'easy' way out instead of just... being a stallion for once."

The mirror shatters and I turn to the white stallion.

"Heavy, you are the only one at least partially right. I can't ever become as good as you. You are... one in a billion."

He hangs his head.

"What I can do is look at you and with every look see what I can improve. You are the straightest, sorry for the joke, the kindest, and the most loyal pony I know. I distanced myself from you because I was jealous of Cross stealing you away. Just like with Chokey I screwed up and thought that just because you weren't at my side all the time you would never again be."

The three of them disappear.

"Mistake, do you really think I can forgive myself for all that?"

"Of course you can," Mistake smiles exhaustedly, "You always do the right thing... eventually... in the end... when there's no other option."

"All right then. I have a job for you."

He looks around at the shield shaking under the pressure of the black mist.

"Is this the right time and place?"

"Yes. You will remember this and REPEAT it to me whenever needed! I will keep fixing everything I broke. I will not seek death again, it will come if I fail anyway. I will keep going until I make everything right or until I mess up so bad there is nopony left believing in me. Every day, shard after shard, no matter how slowly, I will keep going. That is my punishment and, at the same time, hope."

I don't need to ask Mistake if he understood.

Oh, how easy would it be to just end it here. Looking at the dying campfire, I know all I would have to do to finally rest in peace is douse the rapidly cooling embers.

The tent, the piece of life I put together, is my destination.

*Crack*

The world shakes and cracks run through the protective dome around the clearing.

"Bite me!" I give the swirling mist around one final glance, open the tent flap, and step into the glowing whiteness inside.


	3. Viva Alicornication

Whiteness again.

"I'm glad you've changed your decision," the calming voice of Harmony doesn't make me like her even in the slightest. The gods play games with the lives of mortals and they don't play fair, they play only to win.

"Don't play innocent. My decision had nothing to do with what was going to happen. I may be stupid but not THAT stupid. Using Mistake against me... that was pretty dirty though, even for you."

*Clip clop*

"Hmm?" I mumble and look down.

"WOW!" a black unicorn appears, staring in awe at me, "So that was the plan all along?"

"What, getting my hooves back?" I comment, looking at where the talons in the dream world used to be. So I'm a pony again, big whoop. Granted, one front leg is still black, presumably still as a memory of its loss, but that's nothing to fawn about.

"You don't look surprised," Harmony chuckles at Mistake's observation. Am I missing something important?

"I-I had a feeling something like that would happen. I mean he deserves it no matter what he or anypony else might say. I'm just thinking about what it means in all respects and implications."

"Still not in the picture but you don't seem to care," I grumble.

"To be frank, I underestimated him," says Harmony, "The hippogriff form was my original plan to make him more appealing to his lovers if he decided to return. Unfortunately, his special talent got in the way and I cannot purge my own power anymore. With Nightmare faded and lost and Discord behaving within limits the Pact of Harmony doesn't allow me to manifest my power in any significant way. It seems that the thief of magic will have to bear his curse despite my efforts."

"As much as I like the title could somepony tell me what the hay is going on?" I stomp the white not-ground and orange cracks spread from the place of impact, disappearing a second later.

Mistake walks straight up to me and leans his head closer. His horn touches something and the strange numbness makes me close my eyes. When I open them I'm looking at... myself.

"Oh no," I hear myself say as I start trembling.

The implications of everything that form means hit me like an ox cart.

No, I'm not a hippogriff like in the dream anymore. It's much worse.

I'm an alicorn.

On the other hoof...

...if there was something Mistake's intervention taught me it was not to focus on things that make me angry and right now, despite the slow horror freezing me on the spot, I'm SEETHING.

Thanks to the imaginary black unicorn I know what it means though. I can't do anything about it. Right now it's not in my power so I should not bother with it. I will think about it, I will solve the puzzle, and I will deal with it when I'm able to.

Focusing on myself, I dispel the link between me and Mistake and quickly stand back inside my body.

I can see the fear in Mistake's eyes. I can hear his quick breathing. I grin at his jaw dropping when I say:

"What? No singing or floating images of my past? No anything?"

The dead silence is enough of a reward for me. The knowledge that just now, for a single moment, I managed to confuse the living daylight out of a god and a part of me that always knows best.

"Come on, Mistake. Becoming an alicorn because somepony else screwed up? You've been around long enough to know that's just how things go."

"Let me send you on your journey then," says Harmony out of the blue. I get the feeling she wanted to say something completely different but what I said changed her mind, "I find you far too cynical for your age."

Get in the line.

Trying to outsmart a deity might not have been the greatest idea in the history of self-preservation decisions.

* * *

My own voice rings through my ears.

"I give up. I just want peace. They are better off without me."

Light engulfs me. Not the painful eye-burning sensation of staring at the sun but just the feeling of nothing around.

A soft and warm voice laughs and, as the bile from her judgement rises from my stomach again, Harmony says:

"Then build your peace with your own hooves."

 _Should I hate the goddess giving me another chance even if it is against my most sincere wish?_

 **Once you spark the love for yourself others might find love for you as well. So... she probably means nothing bad for you.**

Desert everywhere as far as the eye can see. Golden dunes offer no indication of where I am or where I should go. The sizzling air hits me like a hammer but the warmth seeping into my bones and burning the chill of the grave away is at least something to be grateful for.

*Sigh*

"Why am I not surprised in the slightest?" I roll my eyes to the blue sky with Celestia's cutie mark scorching the land.

 _Where?_

 **Got nothing. We can either be somewhere in the Griffon Empire, in the desert south of Appleloosa in Equestria, lost in Zebrica, or in Saddle Arabia... or basically anywhere else where there is a huge pile of sand left lying around.**

 _Why?_

 **No idea. I think you made her mad.**

*Siiiigh*

 _When?_

 **The resurrection took at least a month and a half while you were resisting. When you decided to stop defying Harmony it was almost instant. So that's that.**

Taking a deep breath, I point in a random direction-

"Thataway!"

-and start walking. There's not much to do besides it.

As I move an unexpected weight on my waist caches my attention. I might be out of shape thanks to having relied on magic way too much but I still notice these things even if my new body feels off in almost every respect.

I'm wearing a brown belt with cloth bag hanging on it which upon examination contains gold coins and a little black book.

"Did she really send me back with hundred bits?" I look at the sky in disbelief, "I completely destroy the Nightmare's access to Equus and all I get is enough gold to buy lunch at MareDonalds?"

 **A new body, new life-**

 _All FORCED on me._

 **Then consider this. She could have left you with no money. Now you have enough bits to buy a train ticket to Canterlot and try to make things work with Crom and Chokey.**

 _Do I really want to? As much as I understand why I should they might have already moved on._

 **Yes, you do want to. You might have no clue what to do with your life but the only thing you are sure of deep down is that the time with them was the best time in your life. As for the second thing, without meeting them you'll never know.**

 _I guess._

 **Think of it this way - if Chokey still needs a break and Crom is free than you can ram your muzzle into his crotch and don't stop until the months since Golden Sands are just a memory.**

*Pomf*

The sudden movement from my back throws me completely off balance.

"Whoawhaaa-oof, okay."

 **Buuut I guess that's not happening any time soon. Gotta compliment you though. As defective as you are there's nothing wrong with your imagination, you little submissive pervert.**

Thank Celestia I'm flexible enough to reach with my front legs to my side and fold the damn wings one by one manually. Apparently this body and my brain aren't exactly in sync and the blasted things refuse to obey what muscles they are supposed to.

 **Chokey's toned butt in a thong brushing against your muzzle.**

*Pomf* *Clink*

The bag of gold lands quite the distance away from me.

"Cursed flames of Tartatus! Stop it, Mistake!"

 **Just testing. What's the plan then?**

"Hmmmmm," I gather the gold coins and put them back where they belong.

The other things in the bag make me smile a little. They are a small black notebook and a pen. Both are of the cheap variety which can be bought anywhere where civilization has passed the point of a typewriter. The writing on the cover of the notebook reads:

 _The Journal Of SMARTASS._

As much as Harmony pissed me off she knows what makes ponies work. With just few strokes my new levitating pen scratches out the original writing and leaves a simple 'Blazing Light' in its wake. Upon a short self-reflection I add three vertical lines to the header.

 _I don't know. I've got even less money than when I left home. If things go well then I have no doubt Chokey or Crom will help me but if not..._

 **Job, home, life?**

 _I guess..._

 **What is the problem now?**

 _You know... a job requires skill and, the worse part, experience. It's not like I'm in a better position than I was when I ran away from home. I remember when I used to look for something simple before moving to Canterlot. Every ad was like - 'We need YOU to eat pizza and bone hot mares all day' minimum three years experience with C++ and Java._

 **What is that?**

 _Dunno, something about the ocean? Brewing coffee?_

 **How about returning to college?**

 _'How to get out of an unknown desert, live in Canterlot for four years and gain high education with only hundred bits in your saddlebag' written by Blazing Light._

*Sigh*

 _The more I think about it the more I just want to stop here, curl up, and wait untill the night's cold claims me._

 **Think-ey bad. Do-ey good. I thought you were more determined than this.**

 _That's the thing. The first time I ran away from my family's mansion I just wanted to get as far from home as possible. I didn't really care much what would happen to me but at least I wanted to try and see how far I would get finally on my own._

 **Not bad if you ask me. Over four years later and stil breathing... breathing again... something of that sort. You know what I mean.**

 _I feel nothing like that now. I'm just, I don't know, going through the motions and hoping something good awaits me back in Canterlot._

 **Don't pick the shards up too fast, you might cut yourself.**

 _Eeerm?_

 **Don't think about your broken life as a whole. Just try a bit by bit. Seeing tomorrow without catching pneumonia might be a good first step.**

 _And after that? Job, relationship, life, eternity... I don't know what to do!_

 **Just think about tomorrow. If you can live another day without looking in the mirror and seeing a failure it's a victory for us.**

 _Mistake, whatever I say or do... don't doubt for a second that I am glad you're by my side. So, we get out of this oversized sandpit, find a way to get to Canterlot with almost no money, and live happily ever after._

 **And we have to believe that's going to happen.**

 _Otherwise, judging by our past experiences, we would go completely insane._

 **Yeah... otherwise.**

My laughter goes completely unnoticed in this dead landscape.

Levitating the book and the pen in front of my face I begin scribbling.

[Blazing's Entry]

I want to say today sucked but because it's been at most twenty minutes since my return I'm pretty sure the suckage is going to continue and get worse.

So you know what? I'm calling it right now.

If all that happens today is me wandering through the desert I will believe my luck is getting better. What are the chances of that, eh?

I really don't want to think about being an alicorn but the damn emptiness all around me gives me no other option. Thank heavens for Mistake and his attempts at shifting my attention.

Eternity is terrifying...

[End Entry]


	4. Desert-ed

"Stupid Harmony. Stupid Harmony. Stupid Harmony."

 **Why this time?**

"Thanks to alicorn endurance I now have a UNIQUE opportunity not to quickly die in the desert without any equipment but spread the experience over several glorious days."

 **Do I really need to mention the increased chance of getting out of here?**

"Nah, I'm just talking so it's not quiet all the time. The thing is that I have no idea where I am, where I'm going, or even if I'm walking - correction, hobbling - in the right direction. For all I know - COUGH - DAMN -!"

I stop until the hacking coughing goes away.

Thanks to my previous experience the night wasn't as deadly as it could have been but the frozen air still wrecked what little semblance of health I still had after being baked by the desert sun the entire day. Fortunately, this time I knew to take a rest and sleep for few hours in the evening on the cooling sand, keep going through the night to keep myself warm, and sleep again at the brink of the dawn.

"-For all I know I might be going in circles. Crom told me that was what usually happened to those who are lost."

 **You know you COULD just fly up and-**

"Nooooooooooope! In case you missed it before - frying pan is better than height."

 **Your hooves are burned to the crippling point.**

"BETTER. THAN. HEIGHTS."

 **Why heights anyway? I mean, you faced gods, unspeakable evils, tax collectors.**

"Irrational fear, right? Even when I still wanted to die I didn't have the courage to jump off Canterlot city walls. I am completely aware that heights hold much less threat to me than most things I lived through but there it is. Not going away. Heights and mushrooms."

 **Mush-**

"A PONY'S ONLY NATURAL PREDATOR!"

 **Eeeeeehm?**

"SHUT UP, THEY'LL HEAR YOU!"

 **You're the one yelling.**

"..."

 **Never speaking of this again?**

"Yeeeeeeah."

Hours pass again. For once, I'm happy for my crapified eyesight because I can ignore the blinding light blasting me from the sky and its reflection burning me whenever I look down and just go.

 **Mountains?**

There are indeed some darker shapes far away in the distance.

"Meh."

 **Thataway?**

"Sure."

Thare's nothing more that needs saying.

"Can't YOU fly up and give me an eagle-eye view of the area?"

 **Unicorn.**

"Imaginary unicorn?"

 **Unfortunately, my 'realness' doesn't allow me to break the rules anymore. That's the price I have to pay for not being just a shard of your mind.**

"Flying spell? I sure as hay can't cast it. In theory, you could."

 **In theory. I might be able to supplement your inability to use standard spells with enough practice but our special talent still means somepony has to use magic against you to be drained.**

And just like that it's back to simply walking the distance towards the shadows.

 **Blaze?**

"Yes?"

 **What do you want? I mean really want.**

"I'd have a bottle of Frostberry Ruby '94, thank you."

 **From life! What do you want from life?**

"Stillll the same answer. Sweet wine is something that keeps me from hitting rock bottom or at least softens the blow."

 **Really? Are we going with that?**

"Okay, you want an honest answer? Right now, what I want right at this moment is a mare, one in particular. I am walking alone, the company of myself excluded, through some desert towards what might be a mountain range or just a mirage and the only thing I can think of is the scent of Chokey's fluffy chest. Every time I drift off while taking another step just so I don't have to feel my bloody raw underhooves being seared I remember Cromach's wings wrapped around me. I don't know what you wanted to hear but this is all I want... somepony to hold me. I know I sound like a whiny mare but that's simply it - I don't want to be alone. Status, power, money can go down the drain as long as my life doesn't return to the way it was before I ran away to Canterlot. Surrounded by ponies who made me feel alone... mirror Sombra, Nightmare, the original Blazing Light, Holy Light... I'd face any of them again rather than that."

 **So... wine?**

"Red, strong, and sweet."

Step after step my hooves burn but I keep walking and leaving a trail of bronze fur behind me. Not like I have a choice. Heh, there's always a choice but right now I don't want to pick the 'leave a set of bleached bones here' option.

The shadows draw closer over the course of the day. I wish I could focus my eyes but alas, the world of blurriness seems to be my new life.

"Do you think I would look good with glasses?"

 **Aren't alicorns the pinnacle of health? Shouldn't it heal by itself?**

"With this body being a living monument of my experiences I doubt that's gonna work."

 **Hmmm. Maybe then. Spectacles could give you a more mature look, a touch of class.**

Shadows start falling on the desert, announcing yet another day passing.

"Is that finally a hallucination or...?" I look into the distance where points of light slowly flicker to life.

The Griffon Empire was in days long past ravaged by pony magic and most deserts are the result of dessication spells rendering large stretches of the continent unlivable. As such it is possible for a desert to be right next to a mountain ranges or lush forests. Thus, one can assume that in the case that this is one of those places, not a natural desert of Zebrica or Saddle Arabia, it might be possible that the lights in the distance are a forest fire.

Forest means shade, water, and possibly some food.

I could keep walking to get there faster, to possibly not freeze like last night.

I don't.

Curling up on the still warm sand, I press my back against a small dune I made to protect me from wind and close my eyes.

Maybe I learned something, maybe I really am not the same scared colt like four years ago. Maybe I still am. Who knows?

All I know is that I just might be a little more patient.

Frost biting through my coat wakes me up and I resume my walking pace. The cooling night sand feels like a soothing balm on my wrecked underhooves. Focusing what little power I have left into my horn, the area around me flickers with faint light. I can't help noticing it's much weaker than last night. It's still enough to prevent me from stepping on a scorpion or something nasty though.

"Do YOU see as poorly as me?"

 **No, not really. I see just fine,**

*Facehoof*

"What's with the lights in the middle of the mountain? Fire or something?"

 **No, they don't seem to flicker. My best guess is a standard lightbulb or stabilized magic which means civilization.**

"Fake hope, LOVE IT!"

 **Perhaps the alicorn of Hope guess wasn't as far fetched as it seemed.**

"No comment. Damn, I wish you were real."

 **What, still horny?**

"Don't tempt me! No, I would be fine with carrying you as long as I had comething to cover my back. It's so Celestia-damn cold."

 **Celestia-damn, heh. Why not swear to real gods?**

"Discord-damn, Nightmare-damn, Harmony-damn... doesn't exactly really roll of the tongue. Maybe I'm just used to Celestia."

 **How about you? You had a power of all three for a moment.**

"Me-damn. HAH! That sounds fun."

The cold grows from soothing to chilling as the night progresses. My only solace is that the lights steadily get closer.

"Look on the bright side. Not feeling my legs anymore is better than feeling grains of sand stab so far into my hooves they change my DNA."

 **What's DNA?**

"Do Not Ask?"

 **Seems legit.**

"I hate to ask but... how far is it?"

 **At this pace we'll get there some time tomorrow.**

"Crap."

Anger restraining training engaged.

"Just crap. Not CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! I'm simply frustrated and we know what that means. That will not stop me from punching the starlight out of- calm down! My mind is like a calm pool, no breeze passes by. Nopony dares to disrupt the stillness otherwise I WOULD STRANGLE- like a blade of grass, completely still. Like a continent, completely motionless... seemingly motionless until a MASSIVE ERUPTION OF LAVA MELTS EVERYTHING ON ITS SURFACE HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!"

 **I'm scared.**

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! See? Totally calm and collected. Crazy is a word that doesn't exist in my dictionary."

 **Insane, mad, touched in the head, cuckoo-**

"That's it, I'm getting an exorcist."

 **What?**

"I said I needed more exercise. A walk like this wouldn't even phase me in the past."

 **Maybe because you were immortal and so hopped on divine power that your waste could heal cancer?**

"Or cause it."

 **I don't think even Discord knows what his chaos power does.**

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure he just snaps his talons and when he doesn't blow up he smiles smugly and says - I meant to do that. Giant chickens breathing fire? All planned! What are those for? Eeeeerm, fun? It's eating Fluttershy! Okay, back to the incinerator with you."

 **Do you think they bang? Imagine the things that a god of chaos could-**

*POMF!*

*Siiiiiigh.*

I'm going to have serious problems talking to a normal living being after this.

Moon decides to end its journey through the night and the soft rays of the sun pour over the horizon. This time I'm not in their path though because the shadow cast by the high hills protects me from another day of being scorched. I might be stabbed, eaten, or something worse but those are things I can somewhat control.

The words mountain range were heavily overexaggerated. This place looks more like several craggy hills presumably surrounded by the desert. Patches of grass and trees here and there offer an explanation that this place has to host an oasis somewhere.

In the world of blurs, I'm close enough to see the path leading to a fortress of standard griffon origin, one anypony could see near every bigger city or important strategic position. Do I want to possibly get captured, sent to the Holy City, and being experimented on for the rest of my maybe unending life?

Do I want to walk through the desert again?

With that, I step towards the fortified gate in the massive stone wall.

*Boom!*

Sand and dirt splatter my front legs. The only clue to what happened is a small hole in the ground in front of me.

 **Gunshot. Sentry. Take cover!**

I look at the short grass and a single tree stump in the nearest vicinity. Yeah, that's SUUUUUUURE to work. Sitting down, I raise my hooves in the air.

"Come closer to the gate, slowly!" says a squeaky voice and I obey.

A slot opens in the massive gate at about head height and a pair of eyes look through.

"Friend or foe?"

"What if I said foe? No, seriously, who would announce themselves as a foe?" I'm sort of ticked for no particular reason, ehm, so I tease the obviously young guard behind the gate.

"I'm just supposed to say that. Nopony has ever said foe before."

"Friend then."

 _Not the smartest cookie, are you?_

Smaller door opens in one wing of the massive gate to show a rather young looking unicorn aiming a griffon rifle at my face. His eyes bulge and the gun slowly aims away as his look darts from my forehead to my back. The unicorn is yellow with brown mane cut short according to what I heard were standard regulations basically everywhere aside from Canterlot. That place really puts emphasis on individuality.

 _At least something that being alicorn is good for._

 **Do you think you're gonna get crowned a prince of Equestria or something when you get back?**

 _Right, because Void and Scream are such good examples of royalty._

 **Oh.**

 _Yeah, alicorns are alicorns, royalty are royalty. Case and point - prince Blueballs._

The unicorn guard obviously has no idea what to say so I have to take the initiative.

"Can you let me in? I've been wandering the desert for almost three days and I'm half delirious. Who knows? I might come to the conclusion that you are just a hallucination and try to eat you."

"Aaaaaah!" the rifle swings wildly, enveloped by a bluish aura of the unicorn's telekinesis.

Grinning, I weaken his magical grip on the weapon and feel a little bit of my strength recover. An orange aura overpowers the blue one and makes the weapon aim at the ground.

"Calm down, I was just kidding. Really though, I'm starving and parched. Can you help or at least tell me where I am?"

"Oh oh oh oh okay. Sorry, sir!" the guard salutes, "This is the Griffon Foreign Legion fortress Ironclaw, sir! You are in the biggest northern desert of the Empire."

 _North?_

North, north, north, north. Foreign legion, that explains why a unicorn in this backwater place is armed and not a decoration hanging from a fortress wall.

 _Ah ha!_

Remembering my last official visit to the Empire where I was aboard the Lightbringer trying to save Cromach from execution, I also recall the maps I studied exceedingly. Not that my precise location matters right now. I'm way too far from any means of travel back to Equestria so I guess this is my only hope.

"WHAT'S GOING ON, MAGGOT?! YOU WAITING FOR YOUR MOTHER TO SEND YOU A FRESH BATCH OF CUPCAKES?!" yells the voice of somepony who was undoubtedly born to be a sargeant. That takes me back.

The griffon suddenly appearing behind the young stallion and making him twitch is lightning fast and in a fraction of a second I'm looking into a barrel of a pistol held in his talons.

"Speak quickly," his voice turns from the amusingly loud one used for scaring newbies to a serious low tone.

"Stranded in the desert. Walked for three days and nights. My name is-"

Some fortresses have a Black Ops agent stationed in them. This one seems to be of very little importance but watching over some foreign soldiers might be of enough interest to the Intelligence Service. There are only about two or three Black Ops members who have met me but the name Blazing Light should be way more recognizable.

"Frostfire. Can I at least buy some supplies before you send me away? I've got a little gold."

"Well well well," the griffon lowers the pistol, "I'll explain to you exactly why that is not possible in a moment but I sure as heck won't turn a totally random stranger somehow getting here while we are surrounded by a week of travel's worth of a desert."

"Soooo, interrogation?" I roll my eyes at his not even barely contained sarcasm.

"Smart one, aren't you?" the griffon turns to the unicorn guard, "BACK TO YOUR POST, SENTRY!"

"Sir, yes, sir!" he trots off.

"You know, just in case we don't find out you're a spy we'll need you to pull your own weight here. What can you do?"

Yep, Canterlot all over again.

"Aren't you, by any chance, looking for a janitor? I know it would take away one of standard ways to punish recruits but having clean floors in the morning might be good for morale."

"Smartass."

 _Why does everypony keep saying that?_

"Frostfire, my name is Frostfire."

 **That's why.**

Gun barrel. My face. Again.

"Fiiiiiiiiine," I sigh and follow the griffon into the fortress.

* * *

[Blazing's Entry]

Frostfire, the janitor. He sweeps, he mops, he solves mysteries, but can he find love?

Find out in the next episode of: The Broom and The Handler.

Mistake is telling me I'm crazy again. After reading what I've just written I can easily say...

...I'm completely fine, just too tired to care.

[End Entry]


	5. My Rightful Place

[Blazing's Entry]

The interrogation went on without a hitch. The Legion soldiers used a tried and tested method of concentrated yelling where one was like 'Who are you spying for?!' and the other was like 'Tell him, he's a loose cannon!'.

When I said that until like five minutes ago I had no idea any foreign legion existed he started crying. To make him feel better I asked if there actually was anything spy-able here in the middle of nowhere.

The other guy just watching until then joined in the waterworks.

As it turns out the Griffon Foreign Legion is incredibly unpopular among the ranks of Griffon military and griffons are sent here if they make their supervisor super mad. When I asked what the problem was the interrogators were happy to answer any question I had just to spite the Imperial Legion in case I really was a spy. So, things are like this - Griffons DESPISE outsiders, Foreign Legion EMPLOYS outsiders. Not much more needs to be said.

Despite all that the institution still stands because it helps evaluate the (undoubtedly much inferior) combat skill of the enemy and understand their thinking. It also serves as a great place to send those members of the standard Legion who failed their duty or are undesirable for other reason as mentioned previously.

My only reason to care is that I'm stuck here now. My guess that we're in the middle of a wasteland was correct as I was told that this place recieves fresh supplies only once a month via a caravan. As my usual luck goes, it left about three days ago.

When the completely pointless interrogation was over I got a room to myself, the directions to where I could procure cleaning equipment, and instructions to simply mop the floors in the fortress hallways at night. It's Canterlot all over again and, honestly, I'm at least a little happy to be in a familiar situation despite it slowing down my ultimate objective of returning home.

Right now I'm passing out in my room. It's never been more noticeable than now how much weaker I am than I used to be and it made me think. The transformation isn't at fault here, I guess. If my alicorn form was what ponies consider normal then I shouldn't have this much trouble even after wandering the desert, the endurance and natural regeneration should see to that. My aching muscles and painful slowness of every movement tell me something is as it should not be. Two things come to mind - either Harmony's transformation relied on my memories in more than just appearance and I really let myself go and got too reliant on divine power to carry me OR there's something big I don't yet understand about my new body.

The unfortunate answer is probably both. Let's focus on the first thing then - I'm weak, slow, and unused to my size, shape, and balance. That needs to be fixed as soon as possible.

Right after I...

Mistake here. Blaze has just passed out. I think we deserve a little rest. Also, embarrassing fact, Blaze prefers being a janitor rather than a temporary recruit because he hates hurting ponies. Perhaps he shouldn't think of his job less as punching and more as forceful nose booping.

[End Entry]

* * *

Is it wrong that the most interesting thing to me is the concept of a bucket with a sieve on top which filters the sandy water into something clean-ish? Well, if there ever was a proof that I have no ambitions whatsoever this is it. It's night, the fortress heating is not bad at all, and I'm mopping the floors in complete silence.

*Squish squelch*

It reminds me of my first days in Canterlot sooooo much. All that remains is for Chokey to come to my room and start bugging me about some small nonsense and possibly whining about how unsatisfactory her last night's bedwarmer was.

"Good times," I smile to the darkness and push a complex tray with an electric light holding most of my cleaning supplies to a new area.

The fortress is nothing special - a standard square outpost with high walls and a turret in each corner. Half of the walled-off space is taken by the inner courtyard where recruits train and various utility sheds stand while the other half is the main building itself, tall, menacing, and square again. This place must have some pretty bad feng-shui or whatever the weird pony in Canterlot called it.

The good thing is that my temporary job is more annoying than difficult but despite that I'm still exhausted when I'm done right as the new day dawns on the horizon. Grab the mop, swab the floor, slam it into the water bucket, repeat until the water is more sand than fluid, put the sieve on, pour the remaining water into the second bucket, refill the clean one, repeat until all four floors of the building are done. Simple, mechanical, physical, exhausting.

I've never been a morning pony and I don't think I recall ever waking up early enough to see the sun slowly rise over the desert and let its golden beams flow over the dunes. As exhausted as I am after a night shift I put the supplies away and walk out to the courtyard. Dry wind sweeps through my mane and few strands of bronze from my coat flow away with it. The sounds of a new day starting come from behind me as the fortress gradually wakes up. The sentries guarding the outer walls walk around me with hazy eyes, ready to drop down for now, and new sets of guards walk up to the crenellations.

Just another day in the desert.

"Hey, Frostfire!" a familiar voice says firmly behind me, "Good you're not sleeping yet, I'd hate to have to waste cold water on you!"

A sand-colored griffon who briefed me about my job after the interrogation grins wickedly when he sees what has to be my half-asleep face. His name is Hamilton and is of somewhat high status in this place. The Legions of griffon army have some strange rankings and I'm not sure where exactly he would rank against an Equestrian soldier but I'm sure he's somewhere on the top.

"What's going on?"

"Get to the storage shed and bring the weapon crates. The training starts in ten."

I could say that's not my job but I have enough experience to know that the only answer I'd get would be that my job is to do whatever Hamilton tells me.

*Sigh.*

I plod towards a small square building with wooden door secured by a padlock. Thankfully, my keyring offers the necessary key so I don't have to make myself an ass in front of the griffon asking for it. A light switch next to the door reveals crates upon crates of equipment none of which is what Canterlot guard would consider training.

Either the Foreign Legion has some really impressive doctors or they just don't care about having crippled soldiers around because I'm absolutely sure that if somepony gave these weapons to fresh recruits back at home the limb count wouldn't remain head count times four for very long.

Well, at least they are clean and so sharp that any cut would be easy to stitch.

"Crap," I mumble as my telekinetic grip slips and fails competely. I'm too worn out.

 _Mistake, little help?_

 **No. Energy. Whatsoever. Need rest. Oh, I know! YOU CAN DO IT, BUDDY! You're the champ!**

 _The heck was that?_

 **Morale boost?**

 _Yea... those don't work on me. So, nothing?_

 **Sorry, I can only watch.**

*Siiiiiigh.*

With no other choice, I walk around the nearest crate and start pushing.

 _Sure wish I was an earthpony now. Much better than an alicorn who is weaker than one._

When several crates of weapons and armor are out on the training field Hamilton stops me and waves me off.

"Now go away and don't bother the soldiers."

I ponder going to bed but the sun and my now flowing blood, plus a tiny bit of curiosity at the practice, keep me from leaving and make me watch the figures of various shapes and sizes do standard physical exercises and match against each other.

In all honesty, I'm shocked when a black shape with holes in his hooves walks without any fear between several minotaurs, a majority of various kinds of ponies, and most of all - griffons. The Foreign Legion apparently doesn't harbor the usual griffon xenophobia and while the griffons look at the others in a not exactly friendly fashion there isn't the hostile atmosphere I would expect.

Difference one has already been noted - the soldiers use real weapons for practice. Difference two makes my eyes bulge - they are doing their standard exercises in full armor and, according to the bags hanging on various parts of their body depending on species, carrying a full set of wasteland survival supplies. Difference three - the Legion apparently focuses more on physical exercises than technique and skill.

 **Makes sense. Cromach was crazy tough and strong even for a soldier, especially when your only experience with soldiers were Royal Guards. He wasn't the best fighter though.**

True.

After about an hour of me making observations and debating whether to go to sleep or not the practice is over and the mixed groups start to disperse. Unfortunately, I probably should have gone to bed as Hamilton's grin tells me who's going to be putting the equipment back.

"Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap," I hum to myself.

"You're not getting any overtime for this, Frosty," he chuckles.

"Peck me, catbird," I lean against the first crate and ineffectively push against it.

"Perhaps you should join the training as well, weakling. Might make a griffon out of you one day."

 _No more species switching, please. I'm happy I don't bark some days._

"Tooooooo tireeeeeed for your craaaaaaaaap," I groan, pushing the defiant crate, running purely on willpower.

One down, five to go.

Hamilton apparently got bored with me because he walked away as I was wobbling back from the equipment shed.

"Mooooooooooooove!" I grunt.

The crate flies up.

"Good box! Now off to the shed with you," I wave and point.

I blink.

My eyes bulge.

I focus.

More bulging, not just of the eyes.

"Eeeeeerm."

 **Holy cleansing flames of our wings!**

 _Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?_

The crate is being effortlessly held by a cream-colored minotaur female at a head height for me. Watching her stride to the shed and back, I realize my first glance was correct.

 _Holy tits._

 **Literally.**

 _Work brain, work! She's coming. Mouth, close! Mistake, HELP!_

 **Diverting blood flow back to the head. Cute kittens, freezing water, something not sexy, anything.**

 _So, you're broken too._

 **Soooo biiiig.**

 _She's here. She's gonna get mad. She's gonna hit me. I'm an idiot I'manidiotidiotidiot._

"SORRY!" I yelp, shaking all over.

The minotaur is naked aside from a loincloth which is, logically, very useful here in the desert. The soft fur of her upper body ripples as she raises her hand and...

...pats my head?

"I'm used to that. You ponies and griffons react the same every time," she smiles as I lean back, still surprised I get to keep all my teeth.

My brain restarts.

I've been among the minotaurs for long enough to know about their physique but during my stay with Darkhorn I haven't seen a female minotaur naked. Granted, at the time I had very different things on my mind so only now one BIG difference sinks in, two differences.

Mares have their fine beauty points - soft mane, lean frame, firm rumps, red eyes, bat wings, short, carpet-like, black coat...

...no, that's just Chokey.

Anyway, even when pregnant, as I've seen in some magazines for lonely souls like me, mares' point of sexiness have never been breasts. No, not even the legendary milkmare from Trottingham. Minotaurs, on the other hoof, are a bit more endowed.

 **They're the size of our head!**

I believe Mistake overexaggerates... and agrees. Her calmness and discipline as she picks another crate up and carries it off help me focus again. With all my remaining power I resume my work and both of us finish the job in no time. When we're done I cough nervously and collect myself.

"I apologize, it was rude of me to stare... even if it was... understandable. That was a really bad complim-UMF!"

My head is in a marshmellow heaven. Regrettably, only for a while.

"I said not to worry about it. My name is Rock Candy by the way."

"Bl- Frostfire."

"You're still staring."

"I'm not, I'm respectfully admiring all your fine points."

"Especially these two," she rubs her chest and two nipples harden right in front of my muzzle.

*POMF!*

My face meets the hard ground.

"Gnnn, lost balance thank to these damn things. I-"

She picks me up. She me-damn picks me up as if I was a feather! With her hands under my front legs I enjoy the hug. There is no strength left in me so I just ease myself and lay my muzzle on her shoulder. My wings slowly go limp, not even folding like they should but just hanging like drapes. Sun warms me up from behind. It's nothing compared to the warm softness of Rock Candy though.

"Better?" she asks.

"Thank you, miss," I push her away, "I'll try to control myself better next time."

"Oh, next time?" she grins.

"I'll be mopping this place every night this month, milady," I tip an imaginary hat.

"Well, I'll be here for two more years so, you know, who's got it worse?"

 _The shadow king, the god of darkness, my evil doppleganger, the avatar of doomsday. Who's got it worse?_

"I'll be happy to lend an ear anytime... starting tomorrow. I'm exhausted. Thank you for the help, miss."

"Candy or Rocky, both are fine."

Smiling and bowing my head, I hobble my way back to the fortress. Maybe... just maybe something HAS changed. Maybe deep down I'm not just the awkward colt who ran away from home anymore.

Maybe my return to Canterlot won't be as pointless as I think it will. I'd never admit it to Mistake but... let's just say that no matter what I said about fixing things I still believe that sometimes it's just too late and all you can do is cut your losses and start over.


	6. This Happens To Me On A Daily Basis

[Blazing's Entry]

Weeeeeeird!

Apparently, at some point of my path to today I became somewhat desirable to the other sex... possibly, maybe?

So, yeah. Rock Candy is strangely friendly with me. Perhaps I'm just paranoid. I mean, thinking back about my first days in Canterlot with Chokey I can now understand her approach towards me. For Candy, though, I have no idea why she bothers with me.

 _Don't overthink things all the damn time!_

Apparently, Mistake can fight me for control over telekinesis now. Great!

It's just unusual, that's all. I've never been a mare magnet and while becoming an alicorn has to count for something the change can't be that drastic. Apparently, she likes me, at least a little. It's been three days since I met her and she's kept me company whenever I didn't feel like going to bed in the morning. Granted, it also meant Hamilton making me prep the place for morning training but that was a small price to pay to get some nude minotaur 'hugs'.

Well, the way this place reminds me of Canterlot is uncanny and unbelievably relaxing in a way. Do my night job, watch the soldiers practice, get abused a little by the high ranks, and go to sleep while clutching my aching body... it's heaven. Boring, but exactly the place I need to recover my strength.

Funnily enough, nopony really commented on me being an alicorn. Most soldiers keep to themselves around me and I don't exactly have either the time or the interest to grow my circle of friends, I just want to return to the old ones.

Well, still three more weeks to go for that. No reason to rush and be blind to things happening right now.

Yes, yes, I get it.

[End Entry]

Moonlight is coming through the rectangular windows, casting patches of brightness on the dark floor of the Ironclaw fortress. It's long after midnight, my favourite time to do some actual work, and the serenity of the desert is like a balm on my wrecked nerves. Last half a year was too much for a normal soul to handle and if I wasn't surrounded by the few who tried to help me I have no doubt I would have gone crazy even if I somehow survived.

That aside, we are here and this is now.

*Squelch squelch*

Smiling to myself, I wrap my hooves around the mop. Magic is cool but with having no way to recharge I'm not wasting what little amount my body can make.

*Scratch scratch scratch tap tap tap*

Sudden silence.

Somepony was rushing nearby and stopped when they reached the wet surface. A griffon, according to the scratching. The hall layout of the fortress is a huge square with a cross in the middle splitting the floor into four squares of living quarters. There are stairs leading to upper and lower floor in each of the fortress corners. I usually sweep and mop the inner cross first before moving onto the outer square and since the morning must be quite close I'm on the top floor and I'm almost done for tonight. It's probably just a soldier returning early from night watch and hoping his superiors don't notice.

The thing is, I've been in Canterlot long enough to recognize that the best time to sneak somewhere is early in the morning when the night watch is tired and nopony else is around.

 _Who am I kidding? If I was THAT lucky I wouldn't be here in the first place._

 _Mistake!_

 **Ready. It came from behind us and stopped. Whoever it was must either still be there or have means of soundless movement if needed.**

 _Probable target?_

 **Your guess is as good as mine. This place is in the middle of nowhere. Perhaps it's really just a lazy soldier.**

I grin.

 _Hardly._

 **Hardly.**

There is no way for me to be sneaky, as a pony, so I don't even try to be. An enemy underestimating me is my best protection. Like a curious janitor would, I slowly walk through the dark hall with only squelching of my hooves on the wet floor as my companion...

 **A griffon, all in black, right behind the corner. Not a Legion soldier.**

...and Mistake's ethereal form scouting ahead of me.

 **Weapons - a rapier at the ready, a dagger in a sheath on his belt, a crossbow on his back. Oh, and a pistol! Can't see anything else.**

 _Guy's a walking armory. I doubt he's gonna use the gun though unless he wants the entire fortress to wake up. What's his stance?_

An image of a griffon slightly taller than me standing with one side against the stone wall, crouched and holding an ashen grey rapier in his left taloned arm, flashes through my head. His entire body is wrapped in black, showing him quite clearly against the grey wall. While black color is surprisingly not good for sneaking around it is definitely stylish which tells me this griffon is used to being seen and looking good. Still, his reaction to me stopping mopping was perfect. Somepony with less experience would either try to run or sneak away while this guy is standing still with glacial patience and is ready to kill.

Unfortunately for me, in contrast to his color choice the shape of his clothes doesn't give me anything to grab him by. His black jacket is tucked into his pants which in turn are-

 _A griffon wearing boots while sneaking?_

That makes zero sense. The paws on their hind legs are much better than most commonly used types of soles.

 **Perhaps the same reason for the black clothes? Maybe he's somepony good at the technical side of stealth but too used to wearing a uniform? That's not the problem though.**

 _A griffon outgunning a small combat unit is NOT the real problem?_

 **I feel divine power from him. Extremely weak, in comparison to what we've been through, but it's there.**

I'm only half listening as I clear the corner and immediately jump backwards, the blade missing my muzzle by a hair and the following arm occupying all my attention-

-the blade suddenly somehow scoring a glancing blow to my chest. Thankfully, more irritating than serious.

 **What?**

 _Spatial manipulation?_

The griffon is in front of me without seemingly moving from behind the corner.

 _Magic?_

Rapier going straight for my face.

Dodge to the left. Easy blow to avoid.

Pain in my chest.

Rapier hilted inside me.

 **Yes, I just don't know where from!**

"INTRU-" I try to yell but a punch silences me.

Vision darkening, the blow must be immediately lethal.

Can't breathe.

Cough blood.

 **BLAZE!**

Can't feel anything.

Blackness.

Blue?

 **Good. Goodgoodgoodgood. He mucked up. Get up! No? Nothing? Blink at least?**

 _Wha-?_

 **Can you move?**

Blue everywhere. It's cold, so cold.

The blue moves, dances, flickers.

"HAH!" I take a deep breath as my chest accepts air once again at the price of utter agony.

The griffon is standing with his back to me, clutching his chest.

"What?" the griffon croaks and turns to me, "How?"

Something is wrong when I blink. Something is off when I move. My head hurts.

Growling, I stand up towards the griffon taking a step backwards with his eyes wide open.

The blue all around takes shape as flames on my body, not burning but just moving. The griffon swings his rapier and more blue fire pours at me from the tip.

 **Can't handle much more by myself. FOCUS!**

Breathing in, the flames penetrate me. It's not fire, it's not magic, it's divine power. Divine power is something I can use, a destructive force, the power of Nightmare.

 _Take._

 _Control._

 _Use._

The flames die out. Something is not right and I operate purely on reflex. Balancing the power of death has always been tricky but this time it's not so bad. Whatever the griffon did was shockingly weak compared to what I had to stand against in the past.

As he moves to a defensive stance with only his hand holding the rapier aimed at me, I jump to punch.

Right foreleg. Hit-

-miss.

Left. Black blur. Easy hit-

-miss.

He groans and coughs after... dodging?

A flurry of blows with my right hoof. This time he jumps back like a normal griffon, not some half-magical not-understood nonsense.

Left again.

He can't move in time and blood splatters the floor. The griffon covers his face with his empty arm to stop the bleeding. The next second he drops his rapier, reaches for his belt, and throws something at me.

Inferno. Air gets sucked from my lungs. Everything burns. Blinding white visible through closed eyelids.

One second.

Two.

Three.

Cold again.

 **He's gone. Good job! So, what now?**

 **Blaze? You okay?**

 **You there? Hey?**

Not even cold anymore.

Nothing.

* * *

"Owwwwwwwwwwww!" I sit up.

I'm in a small, triangular space faintly smelling of old socks. The brown bedroll under my plot reveals it's... a tent?

"Oh great..."

It's THE tent.

Against my better judgement and my body screaming in agony, I limp out of my temporary shelter. A blue-maned, black unicorn is sitting by the heartily cracking firepit outside and roasting some marshmellows impaled on a levitating stick.

I am not surprised at all so I just look at the steel-grey sky, ignore the sundered skyscrapers, and join Mistake.

"What... the heck... happened?"

"You know... I've been mulling over it here for hours and I have no idea,"

"Hours? I thought I exploded."

"You did, but a quick-thinking mind can make seconds last for ages. I believe it's been at most three minutes in real time," Mistake stares into the flames and levitates a marshmellow to my mouth.

"Thanks."

He looks at me and smiles back.

"My only explanation is that the griffon was controlling time."

"I meant the blue fire. What about time? Was that how he dodged everything? How do you know?"

"That's too many questions for something I consider just a theory. Let's start with the simple stuff. I can assure you he didn't use any short-term paralysis poison or anything to move without you noticing. At this stage of our... separation that would not work on me. He just was there... and then he was not there while knowing exactly what you would do. The way he moved wasn't reflexive, it was as if your every attack and dodge happened before."

"Future sight? Prediction similar to what I can do?"

"No. You think I couldn't recognize that? As I said, it wasn't a reflex nor experience so it can't be the thing you do. As for future sight... it still involves being able to process the future information as well as the present and I think it would require massive amount of magic to be precise."

"And turning time back wouldn't?"

"Of course. It wouldn't take that much brainpower though. I think the griffon had something on him which allowed him to rewind time and speed it up for himself. That's all a guesswork though. What ISN'T a guess is that whatever he did hurt him somehow as well. He stabbed you but couldn't finish you off instantly because he fell down himself. When he got back up he set you on fire which brings us to the second topic."

"Nightmare's power, right?"

"Yes. It looked as if he tried to burn your body completely to hide his presence from anypony. Fortunately for you, an amount this small was easy to absorb."

"I remember... you healed me?"

"Not really. I just allowed your body to absorb the power and it somehow fulfilled your alicorn... instinct or something? Trying to keep you alive I mean."

"Do you think I was so weak as an alicorn because I had nowhere to steal divine power from?"

"I think you absorbed a lot from Harmony, enough to make you an alicorn at least."

"N-no. That's... wrong. I can't explain it. It felt as if Harmony's power was... not the usable divine power itself but... a tool? A tool to control and balance Discord's and Nightmare's power."

"Oh? OH! Is it THAT simple?"

"My head hurts."

"Sorry. I'll let you out in a second. Any idea WHERE a griffon would get access to divine power and an artefact capable of bending time?"

"Do I look like princess Twilight?"

"Well, speaking of looks," he conjures a mirror same as the one he had in his asylum office, "you weren't able to control even such small amount of Nightmare's power in that state. I had to do most of it for you and... I'm sorry... I have no affinity for it it seems. It gained access to your head through me."

The bronze alicorn looking at me from the mirror looks like a safe full of bad memories, memories I recognize instantly. My horn broken in half is what I lost in the arena, my right eye, white and glazed over, is what I lost to Void during our misunderstood encounter, and my left front leg, black in comparison to the rest of my bronze coat... is a mockery of a griffon arm made of twisted sinews and hard muscle, another loss from the arena which was replaced by a mechanical griffon arm prosthesis and which I regenerated after Nightmare's curse in Golden Sands.

I grasp with the talons of the abomination. Sensitive enough, flexible enough, strong enough...

...crappy looking.

"I can't do anything about it right now. I don't have enough power to change my body. I don't have the knowledge to do so either. Let's return to what we can deal with. Where did the griffon go?"

"I don't know. He ran away down the hall while I was trying to manipulate your power to shield you from the firebomb blowing up next to your nose."

"Alright. Thank you for everything. Sorry if I seemed... snappy. It's just... I'm tired of this. I want to go home. I want to finally have a rest without the need to lock doors and windows. I want some semblance of peace."

"I understand and I promise I will be there as long as it takes. Now, guess what?"

"What?"

* * *

I barely hear the voice through deafening ringing in my ears.

"Wake up!" something shakes me as a female voice comes from afar.

"Nghhkch!" I groan.

*Cough cough*

"Arrrrrgh!" and continue. My lungs burn, literally if what Mistake said happened really did. My thrashing around doesn't help.

Two points of force hold me down, pushing gently but relentlessly against my side.

"Calm down! It's fine."

"I kno-hhhhh!" paralyzing pain from my throat stops me so I just focus on breathing very slowly. Eventually I'm able to at least breathe without tears streaking from my eyes.

My eye.

It doesn't really come as a loss anymore. My right eye is gone again and with it also my depth perception, at least temporarily. I've been able to deal with it before and I will do it again. It's not like I have a choice.

 _When did I become such a fatalist?_

 **You've changed a lot since my awakening.**

Through closed eyelids, I see the black world of faint white outlines fading into nothingness. My magic is so weak I can't even keep the tracking spell going.

*Sigh*

*Cough*

"Crap-ghhh!"

Something reaches inside me, pats the inside of my head, touches me under my skin, and its soft dragging over my insides makes me get goosebumps.

My eyes open.

All I can see is a light brown to creamy hand just above my face touching my shattered horn.

"P-please," I whisper, "stop that... or at least... take me out to dinner first."

"Oops, sorry," I recognize Rock Candy's voice and the weird sense of somepony else touching me from within disappears, "Is it a unicorn, I mean alicorn, thing?"

"Unicorn... horns are sensitive."

The ringing subsides to the point where I can hear hoofsteps, clanking of armor, and scratching of talons all around.

"Ugggh."

"Don't move," she pushes me down again as I try to roll over to stand up. I feel a soft breath in my ear followed by a whisper, "Hamilton is coming. When he's done with you come visit me, sir."

 **Sir?**

 _Heh. I knew there was nopony who would be so nice to me for no reason._

 **She sounds scared.**

 _Well, at least we got to nuzzle some minotaur boobs before this._

Closing my eyes, I just wait for the inevitable.

"Take him down to the infirmary," orders Hamilton's voice, much more serious than ever before. Gone is the yelling commander act. This is the voice of somepony ready to take care of business, "administer some painkillers, and get him ready for questioning."

"No," a second stern voice contradicts him, one I've only heard on the inside of my head before, "he desperately needs rest. I'll answer everything you need, just let him sleep."

 _Mistake?_

 **Let me handle this. I'll show you I can do more than just ruin your appearance.**

 _You did all you could._

 **I need to be able to do more without draining so much of your energy.**

"And who are you, mister see-through unicorn specter?" Hamilton's sarcasm returns.

"Somepony who can tell you exactly what happened. To do that, though, I need you to let my... owner rest."

"Alright. Medic! Knock him out and move on with patching up the burns. Rock Candy, morning practice starts soon. You have no place here anyway, this is official business now."

"Yes, commander!"

One particular set of hoofsteps fades into distance, one I can recognize despite all the others running around. Strange, minty smell assaults my nose without anything touching my muzzle and then I shut down completely.

* * *

"Nnnngh..."

EVERYTHING ITCHES!

Recalling my new taloned arm, I try to relieve the agony with no result. It seems I'm bound to some soft surface, a bed most likely.

"MMMRNGH! Little help?" I croak, careful not to irritate my burning, and itching at the same time, throat.

*Taptaptaptaptap*

"What's the problem?" asks a griffon dressed in a white cloak.

"Can't move! Can you scratch my chest and face a little, pleeeeeeeease?"

"Sorry, mister, but no. You heal exceptionally fast, alicorn thing I guess, and I don't want to mess anything up. Anyone else with burns of your degree would either be dead or disfigured for life but you seem to be plodding through well enough with just rest. The only thing I can do is either knock you out again or pour a healing salve over your bandages, they're to be changed every two hours anyway."

"And the restraints?"

"Standard precaution for burn victims. I'm sure you realize why now."

"But I reeeeally want to scratch my entire face off," I whine.

 _Mistake!_

"I knoooow but I'm just sooo bad with knots so I can't help you," the griffon chuckles.

 _Mistake?_

 _MISTAKE?!_

"Ah screw it! Knock me out, doc."

He takes a deep breath, opens a bottle, and waves it near my head while struggling not to breathe. I drift off to sleep again.


	7. I KNEW It Wasn't Just My Natural Charm

[Blazing's Entry]

I woke up the next day without any interruptions so I have to assume whatever Mistake told Hamilton was enough to let me rest. Now, as much as I could wonder about the mystery of a griffon using divine power and controlling time I feel not involved in any of this. There are power struggles happening in the Griffon Empire every day and this has to be one of those. Nightmare's power is also not a problem. If I get enough rest I'll be able to obliterate the griffon in case he shows up again. Not to mention that, once again, this isn't any of my business.

Well, since Mistake is still gone I have nopony to talk to and a break from my duties. Perhaps it's a good idea to deal with Rock Candy and see who she really is. Her friendliness is unreal and she seems to know something I don't. Also, cleavage.

It's a weird feeling being alone in my head... I almost miss having somepony to watch the area around me, to talk to when bored, or to second guess everything I do. Scary. I haven't felt this unsafe in a long time.

Once again, I'm SO HAPPY I LEARNED TO WRITE USING MY MOUTH.

[End Entry]

* * *

It might be crippling to a unicorn or an alicorn having no access to magic or telekinesis but after all that's happened to me I just don't care. Controlling the stolen divine power is coming back to me despite Harmony's power making it more difficult. The point is that I now have Nightmare's power without having any of Discord's to prevent it from destroying me like I had in the past. I believe Harmony's stolen power is allowing me to do it at the price of it being a lot more complicated and taxing.

All in all, time's all I need to ease into it. Soon I'll be able to control divine energy and counter magic like I used to. Soon enough? Now that's the right question.

I cannot wait and hide for that long though. With that in mind I'm now standing in front of a reinforced wooden door undistinguishable from any other of the fortress leading into Rock Candy's room. I'm still woozy from the day spent in bed but I should be able to at least run away from a minotaur in case of trouble.

*Knock knock knock*

I'm not sure about the afternoon soldier schedule because I've always slept through all of it after my night shift but I'm willing to wait to put my mind to rest.

*Click*

"Hello, Frostfire," smiles Rock Candy.

"How did you recognize me? I'm more bandage than pony now."

The explosion burned away all the feathers of my wings so I now just have two long coat hangers wrapped in gauze on my back. Once again, no real problem. Screw flying! Screw heights! I'm more worried about my face, neck, and big part of my torso which have suffered the same fate, making a rather acceptable sarcophagus filler of me.

Well, at least I don't look like a raw chicken. Don't judge me! There are griffons around and they have to eat meat.

"Come in, please. I hope the soldiers didn't bother you too much."

The room is very spartan and almost a copy of mine. The griffon fortresses usually don't offer much variety in soldier lodgings. I sit down on the bed while Rocky sits on a rug on the floor so her head is lower than mine. In her purple eyes I see something I've never seen before...

...aside from when I helped Heavy Hoof deal with being bullied in the Guard as a recruit. It is devotion and respect.

It makes sense I'm not used to it.

"Not as much as how you act towards me."

"Huh, what did I do?"

"You are too nice. Nopony's ever been that nice to me for no apparent reason. I'm just not the... type."

"I see. It makes sense you wouldn't remember me."

"Still drawing blanks."

"In Rift?"

"Rift? Never heard about the name."

"Oh RIGHT! My bad, sir. Sorry. The name was decided after you... left. The runners up were Crevice and Rupture. Still nothing?"

"Eeeerm..."

"A LOT of minotaurs?"

"The northern city inside of the mountain? WAIT! How do you-? What do you-? Who are you?"

"I am one of those who owe you everything, Prophet. One of those who would have been left to just pass on clan lore to other generations. I'm not really what minotaurs look for in a girl, I'm weak."

She's right. Female minotaurs are usually way bulkier, at least those whom I met during my stay in the frozen wastes. On the other very... arousing hoof, I can't help drinking in the curves of her body clad only in a loincloth. Her short, creamy fur only accentuates curves of her breasts-

 _Do not stare, do not stare, do not stare._

-followed by every abdominal muscle leading down to her waist. Her shoulders are wider than I am and her arms ripple with rope-like strands mirroring her ability to carry as much as a normal earthpony. I've seen her wave a griffon zweihander around. She is by no means a pushover.

"I know you minotaurs. Your 'normal' girls look like they could rip a unicorn in half."

She chuckles.

"As I said, I was considered weak so before you came and united the clans all that awaited me was either becoming a shaman, running away through the wastes, or being traded to some other clan for pelts. Then you came and made others see us as more than savages to exploit. Both griffons and ponies are now looking for minotaurs willing to join local forces and a lot of us are seeking to find what the world has to offer past the next blizzard.-"

She stands up and hugs me. I groan a bit, then a lot.

"-For that I love you, Prophet, I respect you, and I adore you. You are my future and my hope. There are hundreds of others out there who would say the same given the chance. I got the chance to serve a tour in the GFL and I gladly accepted. I've been here only for a month."

She sits on the bed next to me.

"Erm, I... you're welcome? WAIT! How do you know it's me? As far as I know only Darkhorn knows how I look."

"You've just admitted knowing the warchief's father so there's that. Plus, there's a huge statue of you at the entrance to Rift. After Darkhorn returned from your secret journey to Equestria he ordered it made and remade over and over to fit his memory. At first, I couldn't believe it was you, especially after Darkhorn said you died but I was willing to offer my company just on the off chance of him being wrong."

Great. So now it's Luna's statue in Hollow Shades, Scream's statue at the changeling hive, Celestia's statue in Canterlot castle gardens, and mine in Rift. I wonder if there's a statue of Void somewhere.

Rocky's words sparked a little something inside me. I'm not sure what but the world seems different now... just a tiny bit... brighter. The stuffy air of the room is easier to breathe, the boiling chaos of power inside me a little easier to subdue, the weight on my shoulders easier to bear.

"It's nice to hear I did at least something right," I smile, "although you give me far too much credit."

"I don't, Prophet... Frostfire."

"Ehm, my real name is Blazing Light."

"A strong name. The torch of hope."

"Oh shush. I'm just a normal pony, not some hero. I go to the toilet like anypony else."

"And are mesmerized by these," she wiggles her chest suggestively, "like every guy in this fortress."

"I don't know what to say."

"Compliments always help."

"You are very pretty."

 _Excellent! Now I sound like a grade school colt._

"Thank you. I didn't get to hear that much back at home. So yeah, that's all I wanted to say. I mean I didn't want to put myself forward and bother you but after I found you charred and still smoking in the hallway... I had to. I had to tell you how important you are."

 **Cuddles! Ask for cuddles!**

 _About time you showed yourself. What happened?_

 **I passed out after the interrogation. I materialized myself... partially.**

 _Will it knock you out again?_

 **Probably not. Check it out!**

I feel tugging inside me and a brief moment of lightheadedness. When yellow dots stop dancing behind my eyes I catch Rock Candy looking at the pink-eyed, blue-maned, black-coated unicorn standing in front of us with fists ready to strike.

"Do you see him too?" I ask, trying not to sound like a lunatic.

"Who are you?!" she barks at Mistake who looks from me to her, slightly startled.

"My name is Mistake, miss. I'm a little piece of Blaze's head with extra privileges."

"Oh yeah, you talked to Hamilton, didn't you? I was wondering where you came from."

"Yes," Mistake bows and looks at me, "Speaking of which, you don't have to worry about him. The griffon doesn't care about you whatsoever as long as you don't cause trouble. Well, from what he told me they have no idea where the guy who attacked you went. He just ran away through the hall and then his trace disappeared completely."

"What's on that floor? Could he have flown away through a window?"

"The top floor is the same as the rest of the fortress. Rooms for soldiers, all searched, and some storage rooms, also searched. As for the window, none seemed to be closed in a hurry and there isn't really anywhere to fly from here. No matter the griffon's stamina he wouldn't get anywhere inhabited without survival equipment."

"I doubt Hamilton would tell you everything."

"True, but he seemed genuine. I don't think he's got any idea what happened."

"That makes two of us."

"Perhaps that's why the new guy is here," Rocky snaps her fingers, "to investigate."

Mistake disappears.

"Mister unicorn? Where did he go?" Rocky turns her head around.

"It's exhausting for him to appear like that. Just let him rest. So what about this new guy?"

"A griffon appeared yesterday night. I was on watch and he arrived riding thrusters through the desert. I think he was rushing here all night because he had almost nothing packed and only enough fuel to last the way here. Big guy in a black jacket with golden pin of the Black Ops. The two weird things about him were some strange weapon, looked like a claw of some sort, strapped on his back and an arm prosthesis I haven't seen before, a really complex one."

"Black Ops are always trouble," I mumble, "but maybe they know something. The timing seems too precise to be a coincidence."

"Do you want me to knock him out and bring to you for questioning, Prophet?"

"You do have a mischievous streak in you, don't you?" I raise an eyebrow, well, bandage brow, "Of course not. I don't want Hamilton to shoot me out of a cannon back to the desert."

"Well, that was all I wanted to say. You always look so lifeless in the morning so I wanted to cheer you up. You're welcome to stay, I don't have a watch tonight."

 **Take it.**

"I-"

 **Take iiiiiiiiit!**

"-suppose it's better than lying in my room alone, waiting for my shift to start."

 **Yay for boobies!**

 _Dammit!_

"Are you hungry?"

*Gurgle gurgle ROOOOAR*

"Just a little," blood rushes to my face. Thankfully, Rock Candy can't see through the bandages. Unfortunately, she's not deaf and she giggles at the protest of my stomach, "I don't want to be a bo-"

She positively jumps and runs to a small room adjoining the main one.

"-ther."

 **She likes you.**

 _She likes the idea of me, the idea of what I did. She doesn't like ME me, she doesn't know me well enough to do so. Nopony can like me on the first glance._

 **Chokey did.**

Rocky rushes back with some fresh apples, bread, and cheese. Strings of drool leave my mouth as soon as my bandaged nose catches the scent.

"Come on!" Rocky jiggles her chest annoyedly, "The food can't be better than this."

"I haven't eaten anything in over a day. Here, have Mistake!"

 **Wait, what?!**

Knowing how it felt when he left willingly, I give the divine power inside me a little push.

 **Wait you can't do this to-**

The black unicorn appears, shaking his head so fast the blue mane swirls around like a little tornado.

"-me Idon'tknowwhattodoI'mscaredshedoesn'tlikemeandthinkI'mnot-MMMF?"

Rocky picks him up and puts him down on the bed right next to eating me. I can't help smiling as she does the same thing to him she did to me and suffocates his muzzle between her fleshy orbs.

Feeling what can only be described as a shadow of emotion, I wonder whether that is how Mistake feels what happens to me. It's weak, detached, and... resistable, something quite new to me as I'm not too good at subduing my head in a crisis. Well, if this is the only way he knows things then he must be having a blast now. Rocky's warmth, softness, and the smell of soap with lingering faint hint of sweat... I know all of it.

 _Oh damn!_

Before I even finish my my portion of food Rocky is lying on her back with Mistake snoring softly with head unceremoniously lying on her chest. For him, this must be heaven. For me, this is a useful knowledge. Putting the now empty tray on the table, I leave the room and let both of them rest.

So, if I give Mistake a portion of my divine power I can temporarily give him independent life. It's similar to what happened when I was brimming with power after the Golden Sands incident but at the time Mistake was practically untouchable considering the amount both of us held. This was the first time he could touch something by himself and feel it fully.

It knocked him out like a guard baton. Considering how wide his grin was I doubt he minded.

There's a plan of action growing in me. If the top floor is the same as the others then I could have a look in the storage rooms in case one of them served to hide the griffon at least temporarily. There is a chance the attacker left a trail in the dust I wasn't able to mop at the time and-

There isn't any.

The entirety of the floor is messed up from the previous search attempts. Well, it's come to the tedious part then. Looking into every storage one by one, I go through the whole floor and return back to one room where I felt something strange, something familiar, but couldn't exactly say what.

"Crates with," I pry one open, "clothes. Damn!"

More crates, furniture, nothing spectacular. In a fit of vanity I look into a mirror hanging on the wall to see just how bad the damage to me is. Surprisingly enough, without removing the bandages I have no idea. I close my eyes and shake my head.

 _Stupid idea._

The world doesn't disappear as it should. I got used to blinking and seeing the white outlines of everything in the vicinity but this time they move. With eyes closed, I see the mirror wobble and distort, continuously moving like grass in the wind.

To my open eyes it's just a window-sized square of glass but if I focus I can feel a touch of magic emanating from it. Seeing nothing smarter to do, I touch it and my clawed arm passes through with no resistance.

Heh, a portal leading somewhere. The mystery of the disappearing griffon solved rather quickly. The mystery of the place on the other side took its place even faster. I'm not willing to go to a possibly hostile territory without backup and my backup is currently mumbling incoherently in his sleep and-

A flickering image appears as I focus on Mistake.

-suckling on one of Rocky's nipples.

Well, if he returns to me with half of his teeth missing I'll know what happened.

*Sigh*

Perhaps I should join him. The minotaur girl seems to hold me in such high regard she might not mind another warm body in the bed and I could use the company.

Strolling lazily out of the room I clear a corner-

-and by breathing stops,

-my heart stops,

-my mind stops,

-my movement stops,

-my jaw drops.

The figure in front of me reacts in the same way. I recognize the Black Ops agent Rock Candy described. I recognize him better than she could ever describe. With the way his green eyes go wide and he begins shaking I know that despite bandages, despite time, and despite memory he recognized me as well.

I can't move, I have no control over myself. Through blurring eyes I see him take a hesitant step towards me.

The Black Ops agent sniffles, rubs his wet, emerald eyes, opens his shaking beak, and whispers:

"I pray to any and every god listening. I'll do anything you want of me... just... if this is a dream... don't ever let me wake up."


	8. Sometimes Hope Comes To You

Neither of us knows how to break the silence.

My eyes slide over the official Black Ops jacket, tight fitting with golden embroidery, over the intricate mechanical arm taking place of his right one, and over the clawed 'weapon' on his back.

Him having that thing is what pushes me over the edge.

"Cro..."

"I can't believe this is real. Please let it be real," he mumbles again.

It's been months since my death in the mirror world and he still has my old arm prosthesis strapped on his back like last time I saw him. The question of how he's got one instead of his arm will have to wait for later.

"I wish you didn't have to meet the mummified chicken version of me," I look at him apologetically.

"You've never looked better," his smile grows wider with every step towards me.

"Cro..."

"Blaze..."

Both of us stand there in the dumbest fashion possible, stomping the floor nervously.

"How did you recognize me anyway? I mean aside from few strands of fur there's not much left," I try something innocent.

"I see you every time I close my eyes," he says simply, "Plus, the wings betrayed you."

"Wings?" I turn my head to see...

...NOT the bandaged featherless wingbones hanging limply by my sides.

They are still there, covered in short bronze fur. What is a throwback though are the see-through fiery plumes completing my wings like in the good old days.

"I wasn't sure you would even want to see me," Cromach looks at the floor, "but then your wings started burning and from what I remember fire means good, ice means bad."

The shock washes away. The idiot thinks I'm mad at him for what he did but I know now that the problem has been me all along. One of the problems.

I smile, worried but hopeful.

 _Uh oh._

Sometimes it's important to get things out of the way first... even if it might mean losing him again.

"Are you free for a while so we can sit down and talk?"

"Well, I'm here to investigate somepony smuggling mirror world blueprints into ours again. After what Icy Gaze did both sides want to keep an eye out and poke an eye out if necessary. I've got nothing to go on yet though-"

"Would a swirly magical portal in one of the top floor storage rooms help you?"

"Aaaaand now I have all the time in the world to talk to you, buddy. Investigation over."

"Don't get too carried away. I have no idea where it leads."

"I don't care. You've just told me more than all Black Ops information sources I went through combined. I'd love to spend some time with you... if you can... forgive me."

He closes his eyes and lowers his head when I reach out with my arm and slide my talons over his face. Being this meek is so unlike him and just that is enough for me to know he wants to make things return to the way they were. That, unfortunately, is impossible. There is somepony he needs to meet.

That doesn't mean I don't have several things I need to get off my chest as well.

"You did nothing wrong."

His eyes shoot open.

"I-"

"You. Did. Nothing. Wrong," I place a talon to his beak, "I didn't call on you for help. I USED Heavy Hoof because I knew he would feel guilty for what happened in Manehattan and do what I wanted. I tried to do everything on my own without telling anypony and it came to bite me in the plot. I did everything to cause the ending I wanted... and, unfortunately, I got it. Thankfully, I had the amount of control over my fate I usually have so I recieved another chance to return."

"You're not mad at me, at all?"

"Just a little," I smile smugly, "for not coming with me yet."

He wordlessly follows me as I walk through the Ironclaw hallways back to Rock Candy's room to see... Mistake. The final hurdle is upon me.

Mistake's form is what Cro loved, not mine. When Nightmare transformed me back into mine he almost went berserk. Granted, it was influencing him as well but Nightmare can't assume control of somepony outright. It used his memory of fighting insane Blazing Light in Manehattan against him. I wish I knew then what I know now. So much could have been prevented, so many lives saved, and most of it was simply my fault.

BUT, one big but, if seeing Mistake doesn't make Cro throw me away then all I need to do is wait for the supply caravan and then come home with him. If he does choose Mistake then...

...it's also good. I can pour my divine power into him, give him more life, more realness. After all, he's the better part of me, the smarter one, the one not so mentally and emotionally unstable. They would be so much more happy than... us. On the other hoof, maybe I'm just a selfish bastard but I want something for myself. I'm not going to give up before I see the result even if the other option is much better for all parties involved.

As I open the door to reveal Mistake sleeping by himself on the bed, Rock Candy pokes her head from the little storage closet on the side. Her eyes go wide and she snaps to attention, standing straight up and saluting.

"At ease, soldier," Cromach nods and Rocky's eyes dart from me to him.

"Wake up, Mistake," I say calmly, knowing my call will move the black unicorn.

He immediately perks his ears and jumps from the bed even before noticing anything around. As he looks at Cromach I feel a hint of pain in my head.

 **I know what you're trying to do.**

 _Of course you do. You are me, only better._

 **I AM NOT. I have no experience with this-**

 _You have all my knowledge. You have better access to the knowledge of all three gods than I do._

 **I have NO REAL EXPERIENCE! I chose not to share the feeling when I touched the minotaur for real because I thought you would stop trusting me. I EXPERIENCED NOTHING, I LIVED THROUGH NOTHING. I just KNOW things. That's different.**

 _Courage, that's what we lack the most, Mistake. Both of us. Both one of us. Language doesn't really cover our situaton well._

 **Alright, but let me be me, not you.**

Mistake bows to Cromach who is just staring, paralyzed.

"My name is Mistake."

"I know," Cromach nods his head so fast his feathers rustle, "I've known you-"

"No," Mistake's pink eyes lock with Cromach's emeralds, "You have met me only once and that was under less than good circumstances right before Holy Light almost successfully killed us."

"What are you saying? We met in Canterlot when I thought you were a pickpocket-"

"No. The two of you met," Mistake nods towards me, "I might LOOK like the pony you fell in love with but he's standing over there, thinking I'm something I'm not, and trying not to come between us, ignoring the fact that there is no US. There is only YOU. No matter how our appearances change I'm just a small part of the pony you know. The one you know is him."

"You thought I'd go for him instead of you," Cromach turns his head to me, shock and a hint of starting fury in his voice.

I raise my hoof.

"In my defense, you almost did."

That is enough to make him freeze.

"Yes," he grits his beak and comes so close to my face that I can feel his ragged breathing, "I almost did. I am a selfish and shallow griffon and yet you still tried to indulge that side of me despite even your body portraying how you felt about meeting me again. With that in mind..."

He sits down and grabs my disfigured arm with talons of both his own, both the real one and the artificial one. His voice turns firmer than tempered steel.

"I am yours. Your life is my life and your end is my end. I promise I will stand by your side in anything you choose to do. You are more important to me than the princesses, the Empire, or my own goals. I will protect you from all harm in any way I can and I will fulfill your every wish. No god, no mortal ruler, and no danger will stop me. This is a promise I make right here and now never to be broken. Will you give my life meaning and accept?"

"You... do realize you might not be the only one I want to spend my life with?"

"Yes."

"No objections?"

"No."

"Saddle and reigns."

"I will wear them proudly in front of Luna if you want."

"I might be going mad with power now."

"I'm glad I could be of assistance, master."

"I accept, Cro, under one condition."

"Anything."

"You will hold me on a tight leash. If I threaten to slip back to the way I was, to hurt those around me with my infinite stupidity then you are to do ANYTHING, even if I'm against it, even if it hurts me temporarily to make me see again."

"I will."

I put my hoof over his arms holding mine.

"I didn't understand it for a long time but I'm the luckiest pony in the world."

Both of us turn to a barely contained sqeak coming from Rocky fidgeting like a caged rabbit.

"THAT WAS AWESOME!"

"Rocky, as you might have, ehm, noticed we've known each other for a while, can you grab us something from the cantine?"

"I'll give you privacy, don't worry," she grins so wide her white teeth cast rays of light at us.

As she leaves Mistake shuffles over to Crom.

"I hope you don't forget me completely, sir."

"Wow," Crom's eyes glint sadistically, "he acts like a shyer version of you."

"A good way to think about him is like a different, although quite similar, guy who knows everything I do."

"Sooo... how about a creepy unicorn-griffon-alicorn threesome selfcest?" Mistake sticks his tongue out.

"I LIKE HIM!" exclaims Crom.

"I thought you would," I grin and nod towards the bed, "but first I'd like to know how you got here in the first place. They told me the only way in and out of here is the monthly GFL supply caravan."

"I got here on rocket thrusters. Unfortunately, this fortress doesn't own a supply of fuel so I can't go back until the caravan arrives. I sort of wasn't expecting to get a clue to resolving the smuggling problem this soon."

"And what about that thing?" I tap on his mechanical arm.

"Well, that's another reason I'm here. I lost mine in a fight and since I carried yours with me all the time I lent it to princess Twilight and some unicorns to examine and craft a similar one. That's about the only mirror world design we're legally allowed to copy."

"Who was good enough to beat you, some evil unicorn mage?"

"A griffon. Let me start from the theft three weeks ago."

* * *

I was tasked by princess Luna to rebuild the Guard after the war with Holy Light. Well, Darky was but I was stupid enough to agree to help. After princess Celestia incinerated the rest of the army who insisted on fighting after Holy Light died our forces returned to their respective bases but there was one big problem - most of those who returned resigned immediately. It appears Equestrian police and guard forces never actually witnessed combat before.

Unfortunately, Darky's idea of a good way to recruit more ponies was to make training simpler, like, WAY much simpler so anypony could join.

"Running activates your leg muscles, allowing you to cover more distance quickly," I scribble.

And I was tasked to write the basic field manual. At first I tried to summarize what I went through during Griffon Imperial Legion training but when Darky scrapped my first draft, saying it would make the still serving guards run away, I decided to blindly follow the order to make it... more accessible.

"Jumping costs you more stamina but allows you to reach high places without needing a boost."

*SLAM*

Twitching, I give the incoming annoyance a murderous glare.

"How's it going?" asks the red-maned, black-coated, and soon-to-be-dead batpony.

"I feel my brain melting just from trying to think the way you wanted."

She sticks her tongue out and trots over to the table in a small office in Canterlot castle I got as a part of my service to both the Empire and Equestria. Her hoof shuffles few of the papers on the desk where I scribbled notes related to certain situations. Before she came I was working on the 'physical training' ones.

"Wings are a great way to get over height differences. If you are not endowed with them, please refer to our description of 'jumping'," she reads out loud and slams her hooves together, "GENIUS, now anypony will be able to join!"

I facepalm, wishing I had hooves just so it would knock me out.

"I'm not sure I want to be in that kind of Guard."

"We need everypony we can get, Crom. I have my hooves full with keeping the patrol schedule going without having our guys collapse in the streets. We need ponies, at least temporarily, and as long as we can send them out at night from time to time I'm fine with them being a little less..."

"Intelligent? Self-sufficient? Capable of getting into the uniform in the morning?"

"CROM! We talked about this. I know how you feel about this. I'm not happy about it either BUT we have no choice. NOPONY wants to join. We are lucky that some of the minotaurs actually volunteered to help us in exchange for schooling."

My fist hits the table.

"Yes, and even they would consider this stupid!"

"Crom!"

"We have the best weapon trainers in Equestria. I can train our guards well enough just from memory so that in a month or two they'll be able to climb mountains with no gear-"

"And they'll leave to serve as private guards for some noble," she interrupts, "The few who are left are content with earning less money than bodyguards or caravan escorts thanks to having a little prestige and the good feeling of serving their country as long as we don't work them to the bone."

"How about a help from the Griffon Empire and princess Cadance?"

"You tell me. Didn't Vargaz say that him lending us most of Black Ops combat division during the attack shook your noble families to their paws? And yes, prince Shining Armor is sending us about a hundred crystal ponies."

"Well, doesn't that solve all our problems?"

"A hundred crystal ponies who are grossly undertrained and not too keen on working with the minotaurs who are helping us as well. Some faked invasion, rings a bell?"

"Crap," I slump into my chair and put my head on the table.

Darky ruffles my feathers.

"The sisters rely on us to put things back together. I wouldn't say it in front of princess Cadance but the Royal Guard was in terrible shape after Shining Armor left. There was almost no habit of documenting stuff and most knowledge went from older guards to the new ones. The Nightguard under Sharp Biscuit operated flawlessly and even with him being apparently a disguised alicorn of paperwork I had very little idea what to do when I took over. What I'm trying to say is that with how improvised things are we have to start small."

"THIS small?" I point at one of my weapon training scribbles saying 'Swords are not usable as cutlery no matter how subtle your telekinesis is.'

"This small," she nods.

"Uggggh!"

"Well, we CAN switch and you'll get the pleasure of telling both Royal Guards and Nightguards why they have to do three night shifts in a row without having time off."

"No, thanks."

"Good. Speaking of night shifts, you're guarding the museum of antiquities tonight."

"REALLY? I mean really really? Noone EVER goes there even during the day. There is nothing there, mostly because noone has any idea what the things that are there are good for."

"Congratulations on an easy shift?"

"I can't do the evening training, go for a night shift, and then go back to the morning training and keep going."

"The few recruits we have will have to do without physical training for once and I'll just assign them to Rising Thunder. I can cash in favors from him forever."

"The hanging thing?"

"No, he ate my lunch yesterday," she rolls her red eyes, "Of course it's 'the hanging thing'."

Sighing, I stand up and push the desk away to clear some space.

"What are you doing?" asks the crackwhorse lookalike and Nightguard boss pretender.

"If I'm to do the night shift while still being marginally useful tomorrow I need a rest."

"Oh? You don't have to sleep here on the carpet. Come to my office, I have a comfy couch."

"Thanks."

"Anytime. Just be sure to dream about some more lines for the newbie guide."

* * *

The museum of antiquities probably has got some official name but I doubt anyone besides the curator knows it. It's situated in a small two-story building with its back to the Canterlot mountain itself which, quite obviously, means it's in one of the shadiest parts of the city. Granted, from what I've heard even the darkest and the most evil places in Canterlot are hubs of peace and quiet compared to big cities like Manehattan or, Emperor forbid, Stalliongrad but I don't think I've ever read a report about the museum being broken into. Guarding this place must be sort of a relaxing shift just like patrolling the castle library.

The curator is an elderly earthpony who shows me around the place and tells me where the keys are before making me envious and going home. Eventually, sitting in the ticket booth at the entrance becomes boring and to avoid nodding off I stand up and go stretch my legs.

As I walk through the halls filled with curiosities, exhibits, and some unbelievably minor magical artefacts I read some of the descriptions. I've never been here before-

"An authenic piece of Starswirl the Bearded's beard trapped in stasis," it says on a lit pillar hosting a piece of grey fuzz which might or might not be a piece of a carpet.

-and I doubt I missed anything.

The inscription on a pillar on which a black and red necklace depicting an alicorn head and spread wings says:

"The scale model of the alicorn amulet which is being stored safely in Canterlot castle. It's JUST a replica which, under no circumstances, will not grant you infinite power."

"Guess what Darky wants from me isn't a total nonsense," I mumble, walking through the exhibit halls.

The feeling in one of them makes both my feathers and my fur stand on edge. It's strange, cold... but comfortable and familiar. I can't quite describe it as whenever I think too hard about it it hides away, like a particular memory you desperately need to recall but can't.

I do something smarter and try to find whatever is causing it.

Looking through mostly worthless memorabilia and historical curiosities I stop in front of an exhibit hosting a glowing blue ball marked 'A frozen phoenix egg'.

"Phoenixes are beings of pure life energy," I read, "and as such they can never truly die. This egg was recovered from a cult of Nightmare in the ancient city of Ghou'Lash in Zebrican rainforests. These voodoo shamans attempted to corrupt a phoenix by infusing the power of the god of death directly into a living one. Research showed that as a reaction the phoenix, instead of turning into ash, reverted into the form of an egg. Nopony knows what the zebra shamans meant to do after they performed the ritual but to this day the egg remains inert and no attempts at the phoenix's reawakening have ever succeeded."

*Scratch scratch*

Hiding into the nearest shadow, I slow my breathing down as much as I can. My pure white coat isn't the best for concealment but whoever or whatever made the scratching noise must have their night vision ruined enough by the spotlights illuminating the exhibits not to see me in the patches of darkness.

Considering how tight the Guard schedules are there should not be another one here tonight. Perhaps the curator returned to see if I wasn't doing a bang-up job? No, not this late.

Blocking the nearest spotlight with one arm from blinding me, I scan the shadows for any sign of movement. Minutes drag on and gradually I wonder more and more whether it wasn't just me being overworked and hearing things. On the other hoof, it's not as if I have somewhere to be. Some ten minutes into the standoff the scratching returns and I grin. I might not be on a timetable but whoever is walking in the next room definitely is.

A four-legged silhouette watching every shadow enters the room and the turning of its head stops when it looks at the egg. It walks closer and stops by the exhibit, slowly moving its front legs all around it doubtlessly to uncover any thin strings which might lead to triggering an alarm. The thief pulls something out of a pocket and the light around the egg reveals it to be a spray can. What is more interesting though is the fact that he's able to hold it in one arm.

It's a griffon. Here, in this ridiculously useless building, is a griffon who is pretty good at sneaking and working around mechanical alarms.

Spraying the area around the pedestal, I can almost hear his annoyed grunt as he shakes his head and simply pockets the egg. Now it's my time to move. Following the figure, I sneak to the upper floor and finally to the stairs leading on the roof. The door closes shut just as I reach the bottom and now I simply run up, kick open the door, and...

...sparks light the area for a second as I jump forward, purely on reflex, narrowly dodging a blade that scratches the wall after failing to stab me in the neck.

I don't even think before grabbing the pistol holstered on my waist and shoot in the air. A red and blue flare lights the sky above Canterlot, a special one meaning 'A guard needs help'.

Every guard now carries a way to use a flare like this. It was my idea when I saw how understaffed both branches of the Guard were after last attack. I expected the unruly elements of the city to become more aggressive but, fortunately, I haven't had to use the flare yet.

Unfortunately for the griffon, only the first cartridge in my gun is the flare, the rest are standard lead bullets so I aim at the griffon's legs.

Two shots and a scream of pain echo through the nearby streets and I lower the gun to look at the griffon falling over-

-standing in front of me ready to stab.

"Ooof," a quick jump and a roll to the side prevent my immediate deadification at the price of losing the gun. I've seen enough magic users not to question this and when he blinks in front of me, blade at the ready, again all he recieves is the handle of my two-handed battleaxe into his stomach.

Falling on all fours again, he lets go of his weapon and I kick it away while swinging the axe, uncaring about the possibility of questioning him. It hits, shattering spine and-

-I miss as the griffon rolls away without even looking at what I'm doing.

As he reaches for his belt again I take the heaviest thing I have with me aside from the axe. Blaze's mechanical arm I've been carrying with me ever since he died fighting Holy Light smacks the griffon in the face, giving me enough time to jump at him and swing the battleaxe.

The only way to fight magic users is to never give them a second to recuperate. My muscles burn from the bursty movements but, at least from the weapon choice, I'm way stronger than the other griffon so I have to press the advantage. He screams for no apparent reason and blurs, ignoring me and moving at barely visible speed. He pulls something out of an almost invisible pocket of his black clothes and stands up, arms holding two steel sticks.

Is he giving up?

I release my battleaxe mid-jump with one of my arms and get ready to defend against anything. My other arm still holding the weapon follows the swing and flies, flies, flies, down from the roof along with my axe.

A thin strand of steel razor wire glints in the moonlight as the blood from my severed limb splatters all around. Groaning, I want to get up while I still have the strength but the griffon kicks me and spins the wire around my neck.

He coughs blood, mixing his with mine rapidly escaping from my arm cleanly severed from my body, and a bolt of light pierces his chest-

-hits the roof as the griffon drops his razor wire and takes flight.

Darkness induced by bloodloss is only pierced by hoofsteps for a moment as all strength leaves me.

* * *

Cromach waves his mechanical arm.

"And that's basically it. I woke up at the castle, princess Twilight and her engineers made this based on the one you got in the mirror world, and I've spent almost a month recuperating and learning what it can do. One day a message from Vargaz came, saying somepony in this fortress managed to get their talons on some mirror world designs and so I went immediately."

"Well, I suppose that's where the portal could lead then. Do we go check it out?"

"We?" Crom grins playfully, "You mean a Black Ops member slash Royal Guard and a janitor recovering from a second degree burns?"

"Well, I can help."

"I know, buddy, but let me deal with this for now. Get a plenty of rest, I'll arrange the security patrols, and when I think things are good enough on this side we'll go through the portal. As much as I trust Vargaz with his intentions towards Equestria I doubt the new Emperor has enough foresight and strength to defy the noble families asking for technology rivalling pony magic."

"Politics," I roll my eyes.

"Trust me, I hate it too. On the other armored and taloned arm, without it I wouldn't be here."

"Thank heavens for politics then," I grin and nuzzle Cro's neck.

"Exactly."

Rock Candy, having returned with our food in the middle of Cromach's tale, jumps from the floor and salutes again.

"I'll help in any way I can, sir... sirs!"

Cromach looks at me, eyebrows raised. I nod.

"Alright," he gets down from the bed, "I'll arrange your duties for next the few days. Whenever I'm not guarding the storage room, you will."

"Why don't we just move the mirror?" I wave my hooves.

"We have no idea whether the smuggler is on our side or the other. If we move the mirror we'll give away we know, IF we actually know, the access route. Let's just be sneaky about this."

"Okay, sir!" says Candy officially.

"Tell me if you need anything, Cro," I can't help feeling a bit useless.

"Oh, I will. Rocky, you will be patrolling the floor tonight. I have something... more important to see to."

She grins.

"I understand."

"See you later, Blaze, Mistake," Crom opens the door and shakes his head, "I... I still hope this isn't just a dream."


	9. Love And Weaponry Is All You Need

[Blazing's Entry]

Nothing I could write would explain how much I missed having somepony to cuddle at night so I'm not going to bother. Cromach is here and that's all that matters. We're gonna mess around a little for the remainder of the month, probably have a look at what's on the other side of the mirror, and then go home.

Speaking of which, I'm mopping again, yaay!

It's been two days since Crom arrived and my power has been recovering at a much faster pace than before. The feathers on my wings don't show any signs of coming back though, not that I care that much but I'm hiding my power from the griffons so with no magical plumes I look like a plucked chicken.

Good development - my chest and face healed quite well and I can now walk without wearing bandages. It still itches from time to time but the fresh, carpet-like, short coat actually feels really nice in the morning air. As far as my horn goes, I managed to file it down so it doesn't look broken and cracked but simply a bone a part of which has been cleanly cut off.

I'm feeling better and better and Luna's words returned to me on the second night coupled with Rock Candy's and I realized my previous guess wasn't wrong. I... believe I really might be the alicorn of Hope and the knowledge that Crom is here by my side without hating me is giving me my power back.

[End Entry]

My shift is done and, slowly becoming used to working again, I don't keel over as I put my cleaning tray away. This also means that I'm finishing my rounds sooner and sooner so I can't just walk to the courtyard to watch the morning practice so I just sit down on the wide stairs leading out of the building and breathe in the cool almost-morning air.

It's unbelievable how bright the stars are out here. As somepony born in Manehattan and living most of my life there or in Canterlot I haven't had many opportunities at stargazing and, finally able to think about it, I haven't missed much. The sky is pretty but that's about it, no movement, just complete stillness everywhere besides directly above the fortress where the stars seem to wobble a little as if obscured by hot air coming from a chimney.

 _Are the cooks getting started early today or is it just my damn eyes playing tricks on me?_

I could wake Mistake up but I prefer him sleeping for now and enjoying the opportunity to clear my head and think my own thoughts without having everything I go through endlessly examined for, well, mistakes. Looking at the strange sky, I come to the conclusion that the visual effect is too wide to be caused by just one chimney. To cover such area all the chimneys in the fortress would have to be fuming constantly. None of the sentries on the outer walls seem to be bothered though so I just walk back through the halls of the fortress to the top floor.

There is only one exit leading to the roof and, luckily, I have the key. Quite less luckily, the door is open.

*Sigh*

 _MISTAKE!_

 **Wzrblh?**

 _Strange anomaly hovering over the roof. The door that should be locked tight is open, and-_

 **And the dark spot in the corner is definitely not marmelade. I get it.**

 _Any ideas?_

A sharp stab of pain in my head is the sign that Mistake is going through my memory of tonight with far too much speed to be gentle.

 **Not really. Go check out the corner and I'll be watching.**

Trying to make as little sound as possible, I walk to what proves to be a puddle of blood smeared with paw marks. The door to the closest turret doesn't budge as I push against it but it doesn't seem locked.

 **There's a body on the other side.**

 _So, there's somepony inside the fortress who killed at least one of the sentries. Considering none other noticed they might be dead as well. Go wake up Cromach, tell him to do what the usual procedure is or something and then to meet me at the teleport mirror. My best guess is that whoever killed the griffon came from there._

 **I have to guard you.**

 _No, you have to guard him. There's no real point in guarding me if the only griffon making life worth living is gone._

He knows better than to argue and disappears. For now I'm almost blind, can't see around corners and behind me. The best idea would be to stay put so I stand up and go straight to the storage room. Strangely enough, the only interruption comes when I open the door and a minotaur aims a pistol at me. She quickly salutes and I take a breath of relief that she's okay.

"Rocky, did something or somepony come from the mirror?" I nod to the magical item.

"Nope, Prophet, all clear."

"Crap."

"Is there a problem?"

"Yes, somepony killed a griffon sentry and there's something weird going on above the fortress. I thought it had something to do with Cromach's mirror world smuggling case but..."

I drift off as my mind catches up.

What are the mirror world inventions I've seen until now? Husk, medical prosthesis, better train, crystal energy source, AND A GIANT FREAKING AIRSHIP CAPABLE OF HOVERING SILENTLY ANYWHERE. Who is to say that there isn't a mirror technology capable of making it near-invisible?

Okay, so the theory goes - somepony is flying above us, invisible and at the best time to infiltrate a place. There's a dead guard and presumably he's not the only one. Somepony is coming for more blueprints tonight probably. I wish I had something more to go on than just guesswork.

Is the mirror a dud, a false clue then? Doubtfully.

"Rocky, I'm going out. If anything comes out of the portal then shoot first, ask questions while shooting. I think we're under attack."

The sneaking griffon who attacked me must have been important. I'm sure that killing guards would have made this place impenetrable if it happened before I came so I believe this is a step caused by the encounter with me.

Mistake will be protecting Cromach who will wake the entire fortress up as soon as he can. What can I do to help, go there as well? Nah, I've never really worked well in a group. Time to go on the roof and see what is to be seen.

By the time I get to the stairs leading up various alarms start ringing from downstairs, giving me the cover to make it to the roof...

... just to dive back when a platoon of griffon soldiers use me as a practice target. The bullets denting the iron door make a strong argument for running the hay away and I don't think twice.

Unfortunately, neither do the soldiers and the steps followed by angry shouting are right behind me.

Galloping through the outer square of halls, I reach one of the corner staircases leading down. Strangely enough, even with the soldiers not too far away I'm not being shot at anymore. That's probably not a good thing. Nopony has ever wanted me alive just because they were nice.

"Blaze, HERE!" I hear Crom's voice from the left. It seems he made it to the mirror room fast enough.

 **Aaaand we're back.**

 _What's going on?_

 **We're under attack by about fifty griffons. All guards outside are dead. Hamilton is leading the defense, he's Black Ops just like Cromach.**

 _Fifty? That should be a breeze for the guys stationed here. Are they immortal like the corrupted ones in Golden Sands or something?_

 **No, just insanely well equipped. They have got guns that can easily pierce armor while their armor stops all bullets. That's not the worst part.**

 _I ALWAYS love to hear somepony say that._

 **It's not just griffons. There are also unicorns out there.**

 _Mirror world weaponry coupled with magic. That's just my luck..._

With invisible Mistake keeping an eye out on the hall, I hide with the others in the storeroom. The soldiers don't run round the corner fast enough to see us go inside.

"Blaze, the fortress is-" starts Crom.

"Mistake told me everything."

"What do we do?"

"You're asking ME? I never have a plan, I always just wing it."

"And succeed. Also, I have no idea. The guys downstairs have barricaded all access from upper floors and outside when they heard the enemy could come from the roof. We're alone up here."

"I don't know, barricade the door?"

Without a moment of thought, Rock Candy pushes a large crate in front of the door-

*Flash*

-and a red beam melts through the lock, the box, and Rocky's side, instantly cauterizing the wound. Rocky falls over.

 **Yes, making a noise with a bunch of armed soldiers running past was a smart idea.**

 _I NOTICED!_

"Crom, throw her through the mirror. I don't know what's on the other side but it sure as hell can't be worse than dying here."

The mirror cracks slightly as Cromach slams Rocky's head into it.

"Got a small problem!" he says, almost drowned out by the increasing steps outside.

 _Did I guess wrong what the mirror was?_

 **No, it sure is magical. Perhaps it needs some sort of magic to unlock it?**

 _You're the mage in these parts, GET ON IT!_

 **Right, right, right.**

"Crom, Mistake is working on the mirror. I'll try to hold them off as long as I can. When you get a signal just jump in with Rocky."

He looks skeptically at the small mirror of barely enough size to reflect his entire face.

"It's a bit tiny for that. Are you sure?"

"It'll just, I don't know, suck you in or something. Just be ready."

Finally, the preparations of the soldiers are complete. I get the message from the wooden door shattering into pieces.

Pieces which turn to ash when they hit my fire wings. A short moment later the floor sizzles with tiny pools of melted lead.

The soldiers stop shooting.

"Strange alicorn encountered. Requesting orders!" mumbles one.

My wings hiss out and the fire plumes turn to black ice which shatters into tiny pieces floating through the room. I doubt the soldiers know what it means but if they try to rush inside they'll know firsthoof what it feels to be inside a blender.

Without aiming their weapons, three armored ones walk inside, followed by-

 _You know? Sometimes I wish I wasn't always right._

-a griffon in well-fitting black jacket and pants. What makes him recognizable are the rapier, the dagger, the pistol hanging on his waist, but mostly the several fresh scars crossing half of his face.

"One wrong move and you're strawberry jam," I growl and the levitating shards of my wings move in the air.

 **Why not do it now and save you some trouble?**

 _I have barely enough strength to control even this little divine power. All I now have is the illusion of strength and a ton of hope that they don't find out._

"I strongly believe you would have done that already if it was in your power, mister janitor. Seize them!" he points.

 _Fffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-_

 **READY!**

"GO, CROM!"

I manage to assemble a small ice wall giving us a second of time to push groaning Rocky close enough to the mirror which slurps her down with a fairly creepy noise. Crom immediately jumps through and as soon as the weak flash signalling the translocation is over comes I follow.

Do you know why I hate flying? Mostly because of the fact that when you fall your stomach seems to be running away through your nostrils. Teleportation, unfortunately, feels fairly similar. Thus, I now hate teleportation as well. At least it's quick.

"BEHIND YOU!" I hear Cromach and reflexively buck back with both my hind legs.

*Crack*

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaarrrrrrrrrgh-"

The scream fades and I hear a wet slap from the floor which upon looking turns out to be a griffon arm wrapped in the sleeve of a black jacket. A quick blink reveals the mirror my kick shattered lost its magical properties.

Unfortunately, another look around reveals the three of us landed in a large room full of tables, chairs, food, and most of all... griffons and ponies sitting around, suddenly not eating.

This place is a cantine built in a very similar fashion to the one at Ironclaw. The inhabitants aren't soldiers though. Despite them looking fairly fit none of them is wearing armor. In fact, all of them are wearing white robes with differently colored belts.

A tall, grey griffon apporaches us. No, my left eye tells me different when I blink, not a griffon. A changeling disguised as a griffon. A changeling from whom I can sense immense amount of power.

"Who might you be?" he asks carefully.

"Before I answer, can somepony look at Rocky's wound?" I nod towards our minotaur friend with part of her torso charred.

The disguised changeling quickly turns his head and then calls upon a group of unicorns at a nearby table.

"Take care of her," he says simply.

As Rocky is being levitated away I smile at the 'griffon'.

"Thanks, I didn't expect to be greeted so warmly, especially from a change-"

 **Left, now!**

I narrowly dodge a fast jab aimed at my face.

"What?" I hear Cromach's yelling and the snapping of the harness holding his battleaxe.

The changeling/griffon doesn't relent and since he apparently expected me to dodge the first blow he just swings his outstretched arm, clipping my head.

 **Block this one.**

The wide swipe of his other arm is blocked by my disfigured one. He's strong but not overbearingly so. I have to stay focused on the changeling because his movements sure as hell prove he's good at close combat.

 _What about Crom and the other?_

 **Crom's fine. We're surrounded but nopony is moving. You know, we could stop now and talk it through- KICK!**

The changeling turns on one hind leg and I barely lean backwards to avoid the roundhouse kick. It's not enough though as he stretches his leg mid-movement and gains the short length needed to less kick, more push me on the floor.

 _Sure, we COULD, but I'm in a mood for serious asskicking._

As the changeling jumps at me when I'm on my back on the floor, I don't try to roll away but just kick up with my hind legs.

"Ooof!" the air leaves the changeling's chest as he's bucked upwards but he lands on all fours with no trouble and stands back up, arms at the ready, talons outstretched. I match his movements.

He waits for me to blink before moving but as soon as my eyes close he rushes at me and I have to avoid a flurry of quick punches. Thanks to my 'blind' eye I'm not too bothered by the move but his speed is alarming in any case.

 **Left, right, left, left, right, left-**

With Mistake's input flowing directly to my head, I'm able avoid every blow and eventually weave a punch in. Since I have at least one normal front leg, I use the hard hoof to politely tell to the changeling to crawl on the floor and stop bothering me.

He disagrees as the punch makes him stop his assault and stumble backwards but not fall. I immediately follow with another blow of my arm which is diverted by his quick block and once again it's up to me to defend myself.

 **Left punch, left punch, right punch, KICK, jump kick-**

A blow of both his arms straight to my face sends me to the floor. My ears are ringing from the force but I can hear the dull 'thud' of something hard hitting flesh from above.

 **SORRY!**

The changeling is recovering from the blow of the handle of Cromach's battleaxe, clutching his chest. He doesn't hesitate for long and lunges at Crom, getting as close as possible for him to be unable to use his weapon effectively. As Crom tries to push him away with the handle held in both arms the changeling grabs the handle as well and-

 _A biiiig mistake, trying to outmuscle Crom._

-brings both his hind legs to his chest and, while Cromach stumbles against the combined weight of his weapon and the changeling hanging on it, kicks. Letting go of the weapon, Crom flies, crashing into a table nearby. The changeling throws the axe away and rushes towards Crom who is coughing and groaning.

The world goes red.

A shard of black ice shatters the floor between the changeling and Cromach. Both of them look at me and while Crom looks worried the enemy's expression turns from carefree to serious for the first time. He nods at me and steps away from MY griffon. The power of Death inside me subdued, I exchange blows with the changeling again.

The world spins and something hits me in the back. It's the floor.

The griffon puts a paw of his hind leg on my chest and one talon to his beak.

 **The heck was that?!**

 _I... I have no idea._

Truth be told, everything felt fine up to the point when I was flying and subsequently slammed into the floor. I was predicting the changeling's movements with no real trouble, I knew what was going to happen and I moved to avoid the kick to my leg dropping me off balance.

The thing is that I was in no position to do so unless I was made of jelly.

Breathing heavily and not moving, I come to the conclusion that the changeling led me move by move into a position where my prediction ability would be useless because my body wouldn't be able to react at all to his next attack.

I lost in a martial arts duel. I may have landed two or three mostly just disorienting blows but that was it. If I was a normal pony and if the changeling wanted me dead then I wouldn't be here right now.

"You win, mister-" I groan.

He narrows his eyes.

"-griffon."

He smiles and I get what the problem was.

"My name is Antares," he bows politely as I get up, "I'm the grandmaster of this school."

"School?" Crom joins me, holstering his axe on his back again.

"Well, a monk temple, but I just consider this a place where anypony can learn discipline and self-control."

"Where are we?" I ask.

"Since you so obviously came from a magical portal," Antares grins and looks at the wall where...

...the mirror we came through USED to be.

"CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!" he facehoofs.

I pat him on the back.

"Don't worry and just expect the worst. It happens to me all the time."

"And what would 'the worst' be?"

"A small army of griffons attacking this place from where whoever stole the mirror hid it."

A gong rings through the 'school'.

"Well, for now it's time to lock you up alongside your minotaur friend. Go quietly and we can talk later. A new day is starting and we have a routine to keep."

"Thanks for your... hospitality."

"I could punch you again."

"No, thanks."

"Good," Antares smiles calmly.


	10. Siiiiigh

[Blazing's Entry]

Bullets that can pierce steel doors. Armor that can stop standard projectiles without being as heavy as a platemail. Invisible airship. Beam weapons and magic.

What a pain...

But none of that matters right now because I'm stuck in the mirror world. Yes, from Antares' explanations we really are on the other side where Twilight Sparkle rules, basically at the same geographical location where Ironclaw is on our side. That of course means in the middle of a freaking desert again but apparently the supply routes of a private martial arts school are better than the GFL ones.

Public institutions, am I right?

So, yeah, this is gonna be a long one.

I wasn't surprised in the slightest when I heard this place was being resupplied once a week and that the caravan left yesterday. What DID surprise me was that a temple in the middle of nowhere offers a supply of fuel and an emergency way out. When we explained our situation to Antares he immediately offered us to send Crom away on a glider which is a better version of commonly used griffon thrusters but Crom refused, saying the week wasn't a big deal and that he wanted to stay with me anyway. I guess the promise is something he intends to keep and I couldn't be happier.

The fact that we really are in the mirror world explained Antares' desire to remain unknown as a changeling because here they are considered night terrors and evil predators, basically what they were known on our side as after the invasion of Canterlot. I don't really have any desire to tell on him though. After watching few practice lessons I have no doubt his massive power is related to his students loving and respecting him. He might not be a queen-grade changeling but he sure holds more power than I've ever seen even Chrysalis possess maybe aside from the story about her forcefully draining Shining Armor and fighting princess Celestia.

I asked him how long he's been here and I certainly didn't expect the answer. Sometimes they say the world is small. I can now say that two worlds aren't much bigger. I once had a talk with Heavy Hoof about his coltfriend Cross and he told me the history of commander Shadowstep and her legion, mostly how they all died and she was tortured by a dragon sorcerer, resulting in the creation of Cross.

Where is this going?

Half a millenium ago, as Shadowstep's legion marched through the desert it shattered into straggler groups running away. Antares was in one of those groups and found what he thought was a mirage but in truth was a portal anomaly left behind by griffon-pony wars in an area which used to be so bombarded by magic it turned into a desert. As it turned out the building he saw wasn't an illusion but a temple belonging to some sort of monk order who took him in, especially when he proved to be an excellent fighter and obedient like most changelings. And just like that he stayed there, the anomaly eventually disappeared, and century after century he fed off the coming students and as the old grandmasters came and died he kept the place going.

My guess is that the portal anomaly lasted in some form, allowing him to remain in this world as long as he stayed in the area and recently somepony found out about it, binding it into a mirror and stabilizing it.

Rocky was up and walking around two days after we got stranded here and now she's doing some light exercises with the students here. I was shocked at how easily Antares defeated me so I decided to ask him for some lessons.

[End Entry]

"Tsk!" I hiss, getting up from the floor for what feels like the fiftieth time, "Again?"

Antares shakes his head.

"How to say it tactfully? You are bad, even worse than most of my newest students. There is no real point in us sparring anymore."

"What?" Crom, who has been watching us, relaxing and sharpening his axe, blinks in shock, "Back in the Guard he was considered the best hoof-to-hoof fighter possibly of all Equestria."

"Well, he's not," Antares says bluntly and looks back at me, "You have no feel for the flow of battle, you are slow, easily distracted, and you don't think about the fight. All you've got going for you seems to be an unnatural ability to predict the best course of action for the enemy. Something which I've been exploiting over and over by either putting you in a position where you can't react despite knowing what would come or simply by not doing the most effective attack at the time. Anyone who know what they are doing and have the time to measure you up a little would do the same, no matter what weapon they use. Simply put, you have no skill to carry you, you just react perfectly. You can't win only by responding to your enemy."

I watch him blankly, having no idea what to say. This has been my only pride, the only thing I was good at and now with just few words and several hours of fruitlessly trying to defeat Antares it's gone. I'm not physically fit anymore, my only ability is apparently worthless, and I don't have enough divine power to count as a force to be reckoned with.

I sit there silently, watching the wooden floor.

"What's going on with your wings?" asks Antares and I spread one, looking at the blackfrost plumes.

Yeah, I'm not in a great mood right now.

"Can't you, I don't know, give him a refresh on basics before we leave with the caravan?" Crom throws me a lifeline, "We still have few days."

"Not really."

"Come oooooon! I know we can't pay you but-"

Antares scowls at Crom's insinuation.

"I couldn't care less about money. The point is that I get students like him here. Soldiers or colts, it doesn't matter. They have so many bad habits ingrained in them that just getting rid of those takes months or years. Time that we don't have."

"We?" asks Crom.

"I would like to return home one day. When you told me I wasn't stranded in some other world similar to mine but just a twin world of the Equestria I was born in I started thinking about it and, if possible, I want to wrap things up here and see new horizons. I've been here for centuries and, trust me, things get stale after a while. Most of all, I want to see Shadowstep and apologize to her. If she survived then her course of action was correct. Those of us who deserted... were wrong and paid for it."

"You know we could just say we wouldn't take you to Shadowstep if you didn't help Blaze get better."

"It's not about whether or not I want to teach someone but whether I can and, as I said, I can't."

"Can't you help him improve his style or something quick?"

"It's fine, Crom," I wave a hoof dismissively, "We'll take you with us if you want, Antares. I don't know where Shadowstep is but one of my friends should be able to help you. I'm not gonna keep you from working with those students who deserve your attention."

"Blaze..." Crom sighs.

"Hey, it's not all bad," Antares smiles suddenly and pats Cromach's head randomly, "You might have zero feel for martial arts but just this little session told me there is something in you. You are a bruiser, a brawler, you refuse to hurt someone needlessly which reflects in your overly defensive approach to combat, and when a friend is threatened you go all in like you did in the cantine when you arrived. You know what?"

"Hmm?" I look up at him towering above me.

"I might not be able to smack some skill into you during next few days but I sure can make your muscles burn. Some basic training should do you good no matter what and, depending on how my meeting with general Shadowstep goes, I might think of a good style for you later."

"Won't you feel bad for leaving your school just to get closure?"

"The leadership of a temple is traditionally passed down from grandmaster to his best student and the poor guy's been patiently waiting for me to croak for decades. He's definitely responsible enough to take over although the shock from the good news might wreck his poor old heart. As for the closure... I like exploring, I like seeing what the world has to offer, six centures here was a little too much for me. I might stay with you for a while or travel, it doesn't matter as long as it's a change of pace."

"How is the search for the mirror going?" I decide to switch topics.

After our appearance and first explanations Antares ordered the temple searched from top to bottom for the mirror which disappeared in the commotion but so far nothing has come up.

"Still no clue. The few older members I trust completely are going through all rooms and personal belongings but the mirror must be being moved around while we're not watching."

"Is it possible this is a group effort rather than some lone smuggler?"

"No, I'm certain of that. I know most of my students fairly well and the reputation of my school is impeccable so there's a good reason for everyone to be here. Old families, especially griffon ones, want their heirs to build endurance, self-reliability, and some close combat skills. There are only few students of questionable backgrounds and those enlisted at completely unrelated times. This has to be a solo effort or an incredibly long-term operation which is impossible since you told me the first rift between the worlds opened fairly recently."

"How is the guy getting the blueprints though, the supply caravan?"

"I see no other way. I'll have the caravan members watched during this visit so we'll know if someone makes a move."

"You are one sneaky bastard."

"Changeling soldier. I might not be an infiltrator but even I know how to cover my tracks and watch a target. Especially if everyone around me would immediately set me on fire."

"Well, at least that won't be a problem at home."

"Peace between the predators and the prey. Strange but welcome."

"Hey, if you want high quality love then the best way to get it is to take good care of your provider. Queen Chrysalis understood it and now things are fine... ish."

"We'll see. Now go get some rest. Beating you up any more would be pointless."

Struggling with each step not only due to physical exhaustion, I leave for my room. Crom comes as well, helping me move with a wing wrapped around my back. Back in my temporary room I crumble on the bed and Crom sits next to me. Thankfully, after our initial misunderstanding each one of us got a separate room. Not that it stopped Crom from spending every night in mine but it was the thought that counted.

"Can you stay here a while?"

"Sure, not feeling like brooding alone?"

"What can I say? Misery loves company."

I keep repeating what happened today in my head. With minutes ticking away Crom lies down and snuggles my back.

"Damn," I mumble.

"Hm?"

"It's the only thing I had going for me, you know? Now I get told what I was teaching newbies for years was wrong and might have hurt them nore than helped. What will I even do if I return? I can't go back to training guards."

"Sure you can."

"But Antares said-"

"First of all, how can you be so sure he was right?"

"He wiped the floor with me, few times literally. He knows what he's doing and what he's talking about. I can see he's right."

"Well, maybe. The thing is that noone cares about you not being the best of the best. You didn't teach the recruits martial arts, you taught them hoof to hoof combat. You showed them what to do when they don't have the time to do anything fancy. Thanks to you some of them actually sift through the orders they get instead of blindly obeying them."

"I... guess?" I press my back tighter against the griffon behind me, still unconvinced.

"Trust me, I've been through a ton of part-time jobs before I joined the army and it's not about being the best at something but being good at selling what you can do. If worst comes to worst you can start as a normal guard. It's not like we would turn anyone down these days."

"Moments like these just remind me how little experience I really have. I doubt I can really put 'defeated an evil dictator in a fight inside his head' in my resume. Even after all that I'm just a unicorn, ignoring the details, who dropped out of a university twice."

"No matter what, I'll be there to help, simple enough."

Not pressing Crom further, I just decide to rest through the afternoon, wrapped in a pair of soft, white wings.

* * *

 **A large surge of magic is occuring nearby. Wake up!**

My eyes shoot open and I jump down from the bed even before I realize I'm awake.

"Mmmm," Cromach moans.

"Get up, Cro!"

 _What's going on?_

 **It's almost morning and somepony is using some strange form of magic. It feels foul but powerful.**

"What's up?" Crom blinks, immediately ready for action when he sees me standing in the room and looking around.

"Some weird magic is coming from the cellars."

"Changeling magic? Is Antares eating his students?"

"I doubt that. This magic feels like... death. I've never felt anything similar before. Let's go."

"Should we tell Antares first?"

As we run out of my room the temple shakes in its foundations.

"I think he knows now."

This place either must have been built on the site of the Ironclaw fortress or the fortress on our side must have been built on the layout of this temple because we have no trouble navigating through the halls down underground accompanied by surprised glances of students waking up and sticking their heads out of the rooms.

Rock Candy joins us as we run past her room and we spot Antares and a bunch of students standing in front of a shimmering wooden door.

"Soooo, we weren't the only ones who felt the magic?" I grin.

"Magic?" the fake griffon raises an eyebrow, "We ran here after we heard the explosion but the door is locked and shielded."

"Oh yeah, that won't last long," I focus on the aura around the door.

 _Mistake, as soon as I drain the magic unlock the door._

 **Sure. I've been itching to be a bit useful after I failed you during the training. Sorry, once again. It seems that me watching your blind spots isn't enough to beat that changeling.**

 _Let's agree we both suck and see what's behind the door._

The barrier is simple to dispel but the amount of magic poured into is is staggering and I stumble as the drained power courses through my veins.

The door turns to vapor.

 **Oops, I just wanted to unlock it. What the hay?**

The cellar is dark and rich with the heavy scent of blood sticking to our muzzles and making several of the students throw up on the spot. Brown puddles and smears on the floor accentuated by a heap in the corner only serve to unsettle the ones still standing steady.

I feel Mistake attempt to conjure a sphere of light in the middle of the room but he miscasts again and bright white glow coming seemingly from everywhere illuminates every spot in the room. Antares immediately jumps inside, talons at the ready to rip any threat to shreds. A short moment later he's grabbed by an invisible force and shoved into a wall. I don't wait for more and rush inside as well.

A brown, scarred unicorn is standing on the far end of the cellar with horn glowing bright red. Stains of drying blood all over the floor and the unicorn are explained as the heap in the corner reveals who must have undoubtedly been some of Antares' students.

"Blood magic..." I shiver as memories which are not mine flow into my head. Memories of cults sacrificing victims to make their life force fuel their magic. It's just a flash of explanation before Mistake cuts the flow of the knowledge of the gods but it's enough.

"Surprised, alicorn?" his eyes and grin go wide, "I'm a soldier. We know how to work with limited resources and on the battlefield there are only two things in abundance - blood and corpses."

"How could you do that?" groans Antares', still being crushed, "We took you in after you-"

The unicorn cackles.

"After Crowley sent me here to explore where the portal anomaly went? Oh dear, how easy was it to persuade you I was just some poor soldier lost in the desert after his caravan got raided by nomads. Well, now it's time to end your little school since your other 'visitors' revealed our ploy."

His horn's glow brightens and, letting Antares drop on the floor, a square on the wall behind him bursts out with blue light. Mystery of the missing mirror untangled, I don't wait longer, focus on the unicorn, and pull with my mind.

Red veins appear, glowing even through his coat, and his bloodshot eyes go wide. He coughs and I feel the formation of a general protection spell in his horn. It's obvious he has no idea what I'm doing and his horn cracks as I forcefully rip his magic out of him. Crumbling on the floor, he cackles again.

"Cool... trick..."

*Tink*

Something flies out of the mirror and hits the floor.

In the second I have I see Crom shield his face with an arm so I manage to at least close mine before a bright flash makes everypony unprepared scream. With eyes now completely useless I hear steps and clinking from the direction of the mirror.

Blinking, I still see nothing so I return to the tracking spell and see the black world filled with white outlines of griffons jumping out of the mirror and aiming their rifles. Reflexively, I cover myself with one fire wing and spread the other to protect anypony close enough. Cromach, being the only one not blinded by the flashbang immediately rolls behind me.

The hail of bullets and melted lead is short and precise. Despite my eyes not working properly I feel a sudden emptiness from where Antares was.

 **He's alright, the bullets just bounced away from him. Sure makes you wish you still had your changeling powers. Rocky and Crom are also fine. Both had enough experience with griffon weaponry to cover their eyes and hide behind you. The students though... didn't.**

White outlines of six griffon soldiers aim their rifles at us, the remaining four survivors.

"The alicorn and the group encountered. Requesting orders," one mumbles into his mouthpiece.

Good. That means we have few seconds.

The room is bathed in green flames as Antares drops his disguise and goes wild. One griffon is ripped in half before he can turn his head, armor offering no protection against an overfed changeling.

In the despair coming from him I feel he realized one thing, something Void told me when I fought him in Rift. No amount of power is sufficient to prevent all tragedies.

The six soldiers are turned to bloody paste in moments and Antares turns on us.

"This is all your fault!" he growls.

"Hey, hey, we ran away from the guy who sent those soldiers. He did the same thing-" Cromach objects.

"You just HAD to show him the way here," says Antares, ignoring all evidence, reality, and sanity.

"That makes no sense-"

Antares lunges at me, mouth wide and snarling.

He freezes mid-air, covered in black ice.

"Chill out," I say firmly, "and think before doing something you'll regret."

The alicorn of Hope.

But it's not just hope, is it? Hope comes only when there is nothing else left. The powerless wish and hope because they have nothing otherwise they would change things themselves. Only the desperate ones truly hope.

Split into two, arguing forever, the alicorn of Hope and Despair, gains power from both but has to balance them otherwise he would either crumble and go insane or just become a useless wishing dreamer. The desperate and broken unicorn who decided the only way out was to give at least a little hope to the ones around him.

The sadness coming off Antares gives me so much power that even his love reserves can't break my blackfrost prison.

"Antares, are you listening?" I ask calmly, "I won't say it twice."

He growls.

"I'll take that as a yes. I'm going through and making sure the mirror can't be repaired. When I'm gone break the mirror on this side and I'll do it on the other. Help Crom get to the Everfree gate as soon as you can-"

"Wait! I'm coming with you," says Crom heatedly, "I promised."

"No. The royal sisters need to be told about a griffon unit armed with so much firepower they could take over a small country in case whoever is behind this sets their eyes on Equestria."

"But-"

"Don't argue! I'll come back to you and this time..."

I grin.

"...this time I mean it!"

Not waiting for an answer, I jump through my black and white world into the portal.

After brief sickness my legs touch the floor and I buck backwards as hard as I can, hoping my special talent and strength shatter the mirror.

They do, at least one does. The other leg hits something soft.

Turning my head, I see Rock Candy groaning on the floor with her muzzle bleeding.

The white silhouettes of a group of griffons aiming at us are, unfortunately, a rather more pressing matter.

"Mister janitor, you seem to have a habit of ruining my plans," says the familiar scarred griffon, "but where are my manners? My name is Crowley and, despite some evidence contradicting Black Ops reports, yours must be Blazing Light."


	11. I Used To Be The Element Of Betrayal

[Blazing's Entry]

Crowley's soldiers captured us rather easily yesterday since Rocky was in no position to resist after I, ehm, nearly kicked her head off. I tried to fight but it seems my power comes in surges which go away as quickly as they come. Mistake's guess was that I lack enough control over Harmony's power to allow me to reliably use the other divine forces.

Strangely enough, most of Ironclaw soldiers survived the first attack and Crowley's forces don't seem intent on abusing them which is something I would never expect from an invading force. Speaking of the griffon himself, outside of him knowing who I was he didn't show any interest in me aside from telling me to stay put and don't cause trouble otherwise he would kill the hostages.

I got split from Rocky and locked up in one of the holding cells in the cellars with a trio of overly armed guards watching my every move. I suppose it must have been boring because aside from me scribbling here I've spent all the time by sleeping or lying around thinking, mostly about why the hay I'm still blind.

It seems the flashbang in the mirror world triggered something in my memory-driven body and blinded me completely. Whether or not it's permanent I have no idea but for now I'm stuck in a black world of white outlines, the only positive side being that the vision spell doesn't drain my power whatsoever anymore.

Stuck in a desert fortress, all I can do at the moment is rest and wait for the evil guy to reveal what he wants.

[End Entry]

The barred door to my cell opens as soon as I finish writing into my journal. I am completely and utterly not shocked when the visitor reveals himself to be Crowley, or the silhouette of a griffon with the only differentiating feature to my blind eyes being a set of thin white lines on his face.

I miss colors.

"I believe we need to talk," says Crowley.

"Are you an evil mercenary or my marefriend?" I snicker.

"Neither, young alicorn. I merely wish for my homeland to enjoy the same kind of stability like yours offers. Unfortunately, such goals are against the traditions of the Empire so there is certain... opposition."

"I'm not exactly sure that taking over a GFL fortress can be considered a revolution of some sort."

"Ironclaw was simply the best position to test our new equipment out and recruit those who aren't so set in Imperial ways."

"Do I fit into this in some way or was I in the wrong place at the wrong time as per my usual luck?"

"The latter, I'm afraid. Our observers in Equestria confirmed your death after facing the corrupted alicorn during the Zebrican army invasion. I was unsure whether or not it was you during our first... encounter but some further digging in my notes confirmed the idea."

"Notes? About me? Do I have a griffon fanclub?"

"Yes, it is called the Black Ops," Crowley grins, "You were quite the topic of our discussions at one time. A unicorn who repeatedly rose from the dead and possesses magic resistance capable of stopping the alicorn princesses in their tracks. Getting our talons on you was considered a prime objective at the point."

"Now you've got me, so what?"

"Well, our sides have changed recently so I'm not under orders to strap you to a table and tell a group of scientists to test the limits of your body. However, in light of my change of allegiance I would like to ask for your help."

"If I refuse?"

"I will personally shoot every single survivor of Ironclaw garrison starting with the minotaur who came with you through the portal."

"You DO realize that not even that will make me do whatever you want if it means putting far more ponies and griffons in danger of some crazy warlord, don't you?"

"You are mistaken about my goals. Let me ask you few questions."

"No military secrets, not that I know any."

"Why do you think Equestria has such a strong position despite it being such a weak military force?"

"As far as I know you griffons need our magic and natural remedies to cure the uninhabitable parts of your Empire. Zebras need our gems to fuel the infrastructure capable of delivering precious water throughout the continent. The rest... honestly, I don't know. I'm not too huge on politics and diplomacy."

"You are actually correct. Equestria doesn't export massive industrial engines or landscaping equipment but there still are untapped veins of resources which every country in the world would want. With that kind of interest, if it weren't for one pony then Equestria would have been torn to bits either by us or some other superpower, one pony granting the weak inhabitants peace and forcing us to trade rather than take by force."

"That's no secret. Princess Celestia, if pushed far enough, could wipe all life on the planet out."

"Exactly, and yet she's never threatened to use such power for the benefit of her ponies."

I shrug.

"Well, she's immortal. She's seen where threats and wars lead so she can choose the road to a better future than conquest. Plus, her power allows her to shrug off those who aren't that smart."

"And what if griffons had the same opportunity?"

"What?"

"What if the Griffon Empire was led by an immortal ruler as well? Someone who could grow into Celestia's wisdom, someone who would be more willing to embrace future rather than rot, locked in traditions and pointless customs."

"Okay, if you want my completely honest opinion... I think it would be terrible. Ponies aren't a warlike species like you. Griffons actually being united is a terrifying idea."

"That is where I must disagree. This land is the dying proof of how wrong you are. Ponies are capable of much greater destruction than griffons thanks to magic, magic which doesn't deplete resources, magic which doesn't destroy the economy, magic which allows them to triumph against technology requiring logistics, blood, and sweat."

"Ponies are peaceful, we only wage war when we defend ourselves."

"Really? You sit here, in the desert in the middle of a strip of moderate climate land of the Empire, and you can say that?"

It takes me a while to understand what he means. It's something I know but about which I've been thinking the wrong way around. Yes, there are spots of deserts in the Empire left by dessication spells after the great wars. Yes, those spots are in areas which should be lush and green. And yes, there are also natural deserts because the Empire spans a continent much larger than Equestria. The point is that while parts of the Empire are ruined even after so many centuries of help, diplomacy, and disaster relief there are no such places in Equestria.

"Ponies attacked the griffons first?" I try to wrap my mind around the concept.

"Of course," Crowley rolls his eyes, "According to our history books we had enough trouble keeping such a large area pacified under the rule of the first Imperial families and your pony nobles were afraid the conquest would spread to Equestria. The unofficial reason was of course that our technology, while clunky, would give them the power to resist the rule of Celestia and in their folly break the land up just to satisfy their hunger for power. The nobles riled the population through media to call for a preventive strike against the Empire consumed by its own little inside wars and Celestia couldn't stop the unanimous voice of the brainwashed masses without using force. Thus she allowed the catastrophy known as the great wars to happen. As you know, we lost pretty badly in a direct confrontation but your nobles realized the problem with ruling such a large piece of land - direct fight wasn't the problem. The guerrila warfare was out biggest strength, the ability to survive with nothing and still break the necks and supply lines of the occupants. That is what finally stopped the conflict. No matter how much magic was thrown at us there still was resistance. You couldn't trust a single living griffon to not slit your throat at night because yes, we are a warlike species but that does not mean we like war. We just fight until we win when we have to. The motto of the current ruling family comes from that time and it's a simple one - Victory or death. In the end your nobles learned there wouldn't be a single griffon left providing them with inventions and technology to challenge Celestia for power if they kept going and they gave up, offering help in return for future chance to get the technology to defy Celestia once again to satisfy their greed."

I'm not sure what to say because, no matter whether Crowley is lying or not, I still don't know where I fit in and what the reason for the history lesson was.

"Why do you think having an immortal leader would help then? Even Celestia wasn't able to prevent the wars."

"True, but she was able to say 'Stop, this has gone far enough'. If we had someone of such standing then we wouldn't have been fractured and weak from internal struggle when the wars came and we could have resisted."

"Turned the tide of war and destroyed our land in the same way we did with yours, right?"

"Why do you think an undying griffon wouldn't have the same foresight as an alicorn?"

It's difficult to get rid of the concept of griffons as ruthless and brutal warriors but once I manage to subdue it at least a little I realize I don't have an answer.

"Alright, I see your point. Where do we fit in though?"

"Simply put, I want to take over the Empire and become what princess Celestia is to your Equestria."

Aaaand here comes the crazy.

"I've dealt with one dictator seeking immortality already. Don't blame me if I'm not too keen on cooperating."

"Should I remind you of the shooting everyone part?"

"Should I remind YOU the last guy who wanted the same thing you do actually tried to take over a mind-controlling artefact and would have succeeded in doing so while executing every single pony in front of Celestia if I wasn't there? I'm sure this falls into the 'kill whoever you want and then I will rip your head off' category."

"I assure you I seek neither world domination nor bloody conquest. My plan to take over the Empire is far more subtle."

"Nope. You're now on my 'less sane than me' list."

"Fine."

"Huh?"

"I said fine. It's not like I expected to find you here in Ironclaw. Your refusal simply means that a random and completely unexpected way to make my victory easier is temporarily closed for me. My plan was set in motion way before you came in."

I don't like the sound of temporarily. On the other hoof, Crom solved the smuggling problem. This seems to be an internal problem of the Griffon Empire.

This is NOT my fight.

"Let's say, just as a theory, I succumbed to my desire to go home sooner and helped you. What would you make me do? I presume you're smart enough to realize there won't be any killing on my part other than me destroying you if your answer is wrong," I bluff, partially.

"About four months ago, shortly before your successful escape from our forces after the Golden Sands incident, we started having trouble with a spike of nomad raids coming seemingly from nowhere and the Black Ops was tasked with figuring out whether it was a set of random coincidences or whether someone was directly trying to divert our resources in some direction. All these incidents culminated into your escape on an airship from our Empire and disappeared shortly after.-"

Hmmm, did the Nightmare have trouble looking for me or something?

"-I feel I piqued your interest."

"Just a little. Is there a chance that... whoever was looking for me and found me at Golden Sands tried to look for me elsewhere?"

"Exactly. We routed quite a lot of these insurgencies and there were no traces of anything unnatural until your case. Our final report stated that someone put these rebels to use for their own goal which, as later revealed, was finding and killing you."

"You know quite a lot about me."

"Yes, which is why I'm here talking to you instad of having you locked up and waiting for you to escape and stab me in the back. I was in the group of soldiers tasked with extracting you from the unit that found you in the desert and bringing you to the Holy City for... examination."

"Vivisection."

"Quite likely, yes. I was wounded by a strange changeling during your escape from the tavern and as I felt my blood trickle away a voice began talking to me, a voice promising me life and power if I agreed to hunt you down and kill you."

"Eeeerm."

"I refused."

"What?"

"My loyalty, even now, lies only with the Empire. I would much rather die a good servant than live as a traitor to my principles and obeying shadow voices didn't feel good. I knew I did the right thing when even our non-fatally wounded soldiers dropped down after your death. Something took them over, made them immortal, and then disposed of them when it didn't need them anymore."

"You Black Ops are way more informed than I expected."

"I pieced things together over the next months. I would be lying if I said I wasn't terrified to my bones when the voice spoke to me but I'm glad my loyalty prevailed over my survival instinct. What happened later was more confusing though, I started forgetting things. I had my notes about the incident which I wrote immediately after it happened and what I wrote down didn't coincide with things I remembered. One of the notes spoke of a blue sphere which would give me the promised power and immortality hidden in Equestria and within that note I found a way to start fulfilling what until then was just a dream. The dream of Imperial stability and peaceful future."

So he's the bastard who cut Crom's hand off. As I look at the new prosthesis in place of his right arm I cut off by shattering the mirror during our escape to Antares' temple I wonder if there is something about the whole karma thing.

He catches my look.

"Yes, agent Cromach and I had a little of a run-in Canterlot and yes, I know about your relationship. I know a lot about your history and, being an ex-member of the most powerful organization in the Empire, I know a lot about ours. Enough to, with the help of forbidden texts, find out about the connection of this-"

My black world brightens with shimmering blue flames I recall from our encounter spreading through his fur and feathers. So, Nightmare's power gained through... doing something with a frozen phoenix egg, omelettes maybe?

"-and someone called Void, as written in a diary of a griffon gone mad with power which felt fairly similar to how I feel now. The journal spoke of the death of our hero of legends, your friend Cromach's namesake actually, and a small group of changelings stopping the spread of the power similar to what I hold now in my talons. Now, I've been talking a lot but our roles should be quite the opposite. It is obvious you know what I'm talking about, I can read pony expressions at least that much."

"You... are in a lot of trouble, ex-agent Crowley," I stand up from the bed and spread my wing bones. Feather by feather, my blackfrost wings form from them. The trio of soldiers outside aim their guns at me but don't shoot when Crowley raises his arm, "I bet your power feels similar to this. Touch it."

Carefully, his talons touch my outstretched wing and he shivers.

"No, not... completely," he takes a deep breath, "Mine feels like raw power, wild, uncontrolled, and spread. Yours feels sharp, crisp, and, forgive me for using such simplistic expression, evil."

I can't stop myself from laughing. He's holding Nightmare's power and feels I am the evil one?

"Good one," I say when I calm down, "That just shows it's already gaining control over you. You see, the voice which promised you immortality was a god ponies call Nightmare. As you can imagine, it's not a good guy. My power is shaped by me from what I absorbed when you set me on fire and ruined my perfectly mopped floor. I've been fighting against the deity for most of past year and thus it's making your senses tell you I am the villain here which is hilarious."

"So, you know how to control the power inside me."

"Control is a strong word but yes, I suppose."

"That makes things a lot easier. Teach me how to do it."

"No."

"You are starting to test my patience."

"What? You want to bring your shooting threat again? Fine, do so. If the power gets loose then EVERYTHING dies. Do you even realize what everything means? There will be some resistance but even that will fade. I saw the world devoured by Nightmare once and I will do anything to prevent it from happening here even if it means letting every single minotaur, pony, griffon, zebra, changeling, and whatever else is serving in this fortress get executed in front of me."

Something in my voice must have told him I mean it because he looks thoughtful for a moment.

"Then help me subdue it."

"I can drain it from you."

"No. In the same way you don't want anyone to die pointlessly I'm tired of Imperial citizens becoming victims to politics and shattered rulerships. Our goals are the same, you just don't trust me."

"No, I don't. I doubt you can resist the incessant nagging eating your mind away over ages. You might keep it chained for centuries but then what? Somepony will have to deal with second Nightmare Moon, one who wouldn't be an outcast but a ruler with powerful army at his disposal."

"And what about you? What makes YOU special and capable of using the power you so warn me about."

It used to be the presence of Discord's power balancing Nightmare's but now? Harmony's power helps but somehow the divine power inside me feels mine, not Nightmare's anymore.

When I can't answer Crowley scowls.

"I thought so. You want power for yourself just like the nobility devouring our Empire. You are just another enemy I must get rid of to grant our Empire the stability it deserves. Guards, move him to the advanced interrogation chamber," his stormy gaze locks with mine which must be simply tired and... sad for him from my realization that Nightmare can't only corrupt those evil but also those with noble ideals. Nightmare can make use of any desire, "Now, don't try to resist, I will get the information out of you. Your only choice in the matter is whether you will bear the burden yourself or with company."

I know that if he wanted he could just speak into his mouthpiece and order the execution of everypony before I could do anything.

That just means he must die before he can do so. I can't allow another Holy Light to arise.

Empowered by Crowley's presence I rip his power from him and as he stumbles backwards thin black shards stab the guards. Crowley will have to be dealt with more thoroughly so I knock him on the floor and aim more blackfrost icicles straight at him. A quick kick to his face gets rid of the headset. It ends here. He will die, his soldiers will die, I will wait for the supply caravan and FINALLY GO HOME!

"Resistance. Execute order thirteen," he mumbles and his voice somehow booms loudly through the fortress before I can stomp his skull.

"NO!" screams a voice and my vision spell shuts down. Stuck in complete darkness, I try to make my magic work but it fails over and over.

"Interrupt order! And who might you be?" I hear Crowley scramble from the floor and charge towards the source of the movement. Headache assaults me with the strength of a physical blow and my legs fail me. Cold floor meets my face.

 _ARE YOU INSANE?_

"My-my name is Mistake. I-I-I can make sure he doesn't bother you b-but, please, don't kill anypony in the fortress."

 **He'll kill Rocky!**

"Abort order," Crowley's voice rings unnaturally through the fortress again.

 _He'll end up killing everypony if we don't stop him. Give me my magic back!_

 **NO, she's too nice to die! She hugged me!**

 _Are you going to risk all life on Equus just because you got some physical contact?_

 **YOU USED TO BE THE SAME!**

"Thank you," Mistake breathes heavily, "Thankyouthankyouthankyou. HEY! What are you doing?"

"You WILL help me, Mistake, my threat still stands."

 _You idiot!_

 **I can't let him kill her, sorry.**

Suddenly, my sight is back completely but I have no control over my body whatsoever. I realize it's not my vision, it's Mistake's.

"Hey, I said I wouldn't let him stop you, not that I'll help you," Mistake, controlling me, takes several steps forward, testing his new body, "This body is mine now. I'll make sure he does nothing stupid but he was telling the truth, your power is deadly and dangerous. I can't help you destroy life."

"WHY DOES EVERY GREEDY CREATURE TRY TO STOP ME FROM PROTECTING MY HOME?" Crowley swings wide and punches me. It feels distant and weak but from my scream I'm sure Mistake felt it more than I would have.

Crowley picks up a working headset from one of the dead guards and mumbles.

"Interesting reaction. Send two soldiers down here to bring the alicorn in for questioning."

I don't know what Mistake did to me but even with him crying in agony from a single punch I'm too weak to take my body back. Him being unused to physical touch made him long to protect Rocky far too much and, unfortunately, if Crowley applies any sort of physical torture I have no doubt Mistake will break and tell him anything he wants.

It pains me to even think it but I hope Mistake suffers so much that his control over my body breaks soon and I can end this before Crowley becomes too powerful. I'm sure Nightmare will accelerate the pace of assuming control since it now knows I'm alive and in direct contact with its new avatar.


	12. My Worst Enemy, My Greatest Ally

I was wrong once again.

I believed would be able to resist, to deny Crowley the knowledge about Nightmare's power but now, after hearing Mistake scream through my mouth, I know I wouldn't. If I had to see somepony else suffer next to me, to have them look at me as my silence spelled lenghtening of their torment... I know I would never forgive myself.

Mistake spared me all that, the disfiguring and torturing scar in my mind.

The price, however, was him talking. I was correct, Mistake couldn't handle physical torture at all. Punching made him beg, breaking of talons on my eldritch arm made him howl in agony, cracking of bones as Crowley's soldiers pounded away at my legs with mallets made him pass out. One thing has to be said about him - even after all that he didn't relinquish control over my body. However, when he woke up and we got dragged into the torture chamber again I sensed his realization that the pain wouldn't end with one day. Without anypony even touching him he, unable to move the mangled limbs, told Crowley everything.

Thankfully, it wasn't that much considering we have access, albeit very restricted and uncontrollable, to infinite knowledge of all three gods. Unfortunately, it was more than enough.

Some of the information was about the mirror world, the limits of their technology and the power of their magic. Some of it was about my travels, about who I truly was, and about what happened during my long journey here. Mistake filled every detail, every spoken and unspoken question, and I got the feeling that at a certain point Crowley understood what his newfound power meant and where it would lead.

What he understood most of all and deemed necessary to share with me was that he had little time. His self-awareness shocked me when he offered Mistake a deal - Mistake would tap into my power and use it to subdue Crowley's own in order to make it manageable. As a reward we would be spared further torture, released after Crowley's coming to power, and Crowley himself would seek to negotiate with the princesses the price for Discord's assistance in stabilizing and balancing his power sort of like I did.

Mistake agreed without thinking about it too much just to escape the pain. Strangely enough, it made even me believe Crowley wasn't lying.

Two factors influenced what happened after that. Mistake's ability to manipulate divine power is about the same as normal unicorn's so... not great. Plus, he was running on fumes after being chewed up by Crowley's torture machines the day before. Simply put, he only managed to drain a little of Crowley's power before the raw force of destruction became too much for him to handle.

He... shattered? I can't put the feeling into words but the sensations of ripping sinews and creaking ribs would figure in there somewhere if I could.

* * *

As I watch Crowley gasp for breath I, despite my body's exhaustion, store the stolen power for later use.

"Feels-"

*COUGH*

The burning of my throat scratched through unending screaming stops me as the sensations of a battered body assault me in full force. It takes all my self control to stop the fit of coughing and gasping and retain at least a little of my dignity. Tears streaming down my face don't help.

"-not so good to be back."

Whether it's the tone of my voice or the expression of raw hatred that must be etched on my face Crowley takes the hint.

"Welcome back, mister Light. What happened to the helpful fellow?"

"Something I will make you regret doing, eventually," I whisper, "So, what are you going to do with all he said?"

"You assume your importance is far greater than it truly is. Anything besides the methods of controlling my power was merely my curiosity rather than anything else. My plan still takes precedence although I might need to move faster than I expected which is why we'll be leaving in a week for the Holy City. I wonder though, what do YOU think about the arrangement?"

"Mistake doesn't have enough understanding of how things feel. He doesn't know how strong the pressure of Nightmare breaking into your head is. You presume that if you give the princesses enough they'll allow you to, I don't know, siphon some of Discord's power to balance yours but it won't change the fact that the god will eventually get to you, break you, and corrupt you. I will prevent that."

Crowley frowns.

"Hrmph. Then I'll just have to wait until the more reasonable and approachable part of you recovers and try again."

With that he simply leaves the torture chamber. Two guards come in, carrying a stretcher, and a third one instructs them how to transport somepony with all legs broken in multiple places.

I don't have the time to curse when one of them screws up and touches me in the wrong way. The sharp spike of pain knocking me out might be a blessing.

* * *

"Owwwww," I wake up to the feeling of something soft draped over something really hard under my back. A pony shouldn't be sleeping like that but whatever, I like it.

What else shouldn't be happening is me standing up using my completely normal, unbroken, and, unfortunately one of them still deformed, legs. The greenish-brown fabric close to my face reveals this must be the tent inside of my head. Sighing in phantom pain of my real injuries, I open the tent flaps and walk outside to see why I'm here.

Oh right, because the real world isn't exactly the safest place right now.

The ruins of Manehattan tower around me and a thin ray of sunlight shines through the grey clouds. The small circle of my campsite is completely empty of all rubble and the clear space reveals it's located in one of many Manehattan's parks. Perhaps if I find some sense of stability and meaning in my life this place will become something other than a giant trash heap. I walk out of the circle of cobblestone and concrete onto a well-kept lawn and enjoy the coolness of the grass soothing the lingering pain of my legs broken in reality.

In contrast to the outside of my head being quite hostile, this place is still peaceful and boring.

"Thank heavens for that," my voice fills the eerie silence and my parched throat stings. A quick look around reveals, or possibly the memory of this place creates, a small water fountain on the corner of one of several streets leading into this tiny plaza.

One very thirsty minute later I'm shaking my wet muzzle and, all major bothers subdued, wondering what to do here. I've never been here before simply to 'admire' the scenery so I believe there's something for me to do here.

That something has to be connected to Mistake.

"Now, where would he run to if he knew I would be looking for him? The asylum?" I mumble, scratching my chin.

There's nothing making me feel threatened so I might have time to look around. Shrugging, I recall the look and feel of the asylum that protected me during my ressurrection and a sense of tugging in a certain direction is my answer.

A short trip through several cracked streets is as uneventful as expected aside from the need to jump over crevices and leads to a large walled-off area with the only access point being a steel gate.

"Open?"

One of the wings of the gate is slightly ajar. If Mistake was trying to hide after what he did I honestly doubt he would forget something as basic as locking the door behind himself. Possibly, he could be pretending he's not here or, of course, I guessed his location wrong.

No barrage of magic, no distortion of this fake world occurs as I walk inside the asylum gardens and follow the main gravel road leading straight to the entrance. The wooden door isn't closed either but the sight awaiting me tells me my guess was correct. The tiled floor is dusty but the thin grey veil is disrupted by dots and smudges reoccuring in sets of fours as if somepony was walking and sometimes dragging their hooves. The trail heads to the stairs leading up. A quick look around brings back a memory which is and isn't mine at the same time and I finally identify this place. This isn't just any asylum. When I woke up here for the first time I was too confused and angry to recognize what memory this place was but now I know where the steps would lead.

The Ponyville Mental Institution where I recovered under Chokey and Bright Eye's supervision after I fought off Sombra. The hoofsteps lead right where my cell would be. If Mistake intends to fight me for control there or something then he didn't drag me to the best memory for him. I like this place, I enjoyed my short time in Ponyville, I am strong here.

And so will he.

On the other ethereal hoof, I failed to trust him before and it almost led to my death. Granted, I would have welcomed it at the time but now... things have changed for both of us. I shouldn't jump to conclusions although being careful can't hurt.

The noise of a blade being pulled out of its sheath accompanies the summoning of my blackfrost wings and I walk up the stairs towards what used to be my cell. My cell where Chokey told me stories, where she came to rest after taking care of the weird patient lady who tried to hug potted plants, where she sacrificed her career, her reputation, and where she commited high treason just so I had another chance for a peaceful life.

As much as I love Cromach there's way too much I've been through with Chokey to be happy without her.

I will return home and I will make sure no evil threatens them ever again.

Time might tear us apart eventually but that's what I realized when I became an alicorn. For now I want to make the time we have together count and no damn griffon will take more of that time away. As soon as I get out of here Crowley dies, screw diplomacy.

The door to the padded cell is wide open and inside...

...inside there is a black body stinking of sweat, blood, and urine quietly sobbing on the floor. With limbs sticking out in unnatural angles, Mistake groans and his eyes go wide when he notices me and presumably the shape of my wings.

"-hurts," is the only thing I can make out of his quivering voice.

He is in no position to resist as the wounds suffered in the real world were so harsh he feels them here as well. I could get control over my body and my magic right here and now but what would await me out there if I did so? It's the same as with my other friends. Mistake's been by my side for far too long to let this little thing come between, especially if I understand his point of view way too well.

I lean down to him.

My wings melt and burn. The flames go almost pastel red and flow through my transformed arm into him. It seems that even with stealing only Nightmare's divine power I can summon Hope.

"It is just power, young one. It is up to you how you use it... and bear the consequences," says a sinister lingering whisper and dark mist pours into the cell through the open door.

I wish Mistake said it. I wish Crowley said it. Heck, I wish Sombra or Holy Light said it. Or possibly I wish I didn't recognize it the second I heard it.

Anypony else but him - Nightmare's maybe not the oldest creation but without a doubt the most powerful one. One so powerful even the god itself has to fear him.

The walls of the cell float away into darkness and both me and Mistake are hanging in the blackness between stars. The fire of my wings burns brighter as I assert my own power against the one ripping us out of my mindscape but here my light feels insignificant and my threats empty. The stars blink out, leaving us swimming in ink.

With surprising gentleness, we are lifted and moved while seeing nothing. Blue wisps of light flicker to life close to us, illuminating the inside of an obsidian temple. There, on the throne of black glass, sits a massive black alicorn whose golden eyes bore into me.

"Void..."

"In the flesh, as much as it can be said here," he says calmly.

Good, I'm not dead yet although that can rapidly change considering the circumstances we met under last time were less than pleasant.

"Indeed," he interrupts my internal monologue, small smile growing on his lips.

"How...?"

"This place is still inside your head. I have been looking for you ever since I noticed your soul once again failed to pass through my hooves into my realm," the alicorn of Death's expression turns questioning, "But a true hunter does not follow, he lies in wait."

"And you're here to change that, aren't you?" I bark but it feels weak and pointless. Void spreads his wings and starts walking towards me. Reflexively, I stand up between him and Mistake, "I know I screwed up last time but it was necessary. Well, it wasn't but I couldn't see another way at the time."

The death incarnate doesn't stop.

"I will fight you again if I have to!" I barely keep my voice from trembling and myself from internally adding 'and I will lose'.

Another step the pressure of which makes me step back as well. The second oldest alicorn is far too much for me to deal with at the moment.

"I'm not alone anymore! I have somewhere to return to! I won't... I CAN'T let you kill me here!" tears streak from my eyes when I realize how futile my resistance is.

If this is still my head then I'm not alone though. One by one they blink into existence as soon as I think of them and Void's progress slows down as they do so.

All those who made me who I am today, all those who kept me from hitting the complete bottom.

Searing Light, the brother to whom I looked up to.

Chokey, the hope of my life.

Sharp Biscuit, the one who taught me how to understand myself and others.

Heavy Hoof, the pony I hope one day to become.

Queen Chrysalis who showed me I can make a mare happy.

Betty, the Element showing me what my power truly was.

Guiding Light and her dreamlings, my family and responsibility.

Cromach, the griffon who loves me for who I am.

And one by one they disappear, leaving me and Mistake alone to face Void who leans down to me. Paralyzed with fear, I have barely enough strength to jump away but Void moves first anyway.

"You have serious trust issues, young one," his wings wrap around me with the soft touch of the finest silk, "I assure you I am not your enemy despite your lapse of judgement during our last encounter. Also believe me when I say I could not be happier you finally found a reason to live."

"Huuuuuh?" the embrace ends with Void smiling widely.

"You still tend to assume the worst, Blazing Light. At first I was looking for you to make sure we had one last talk before you passed away but when I became sure that somehow, somewhere you were still alive my goal became to see what happened. Unfortunately, your innate ability did not allow me to do so, leading to my rather clumsy approach during your revival for which I have to apologize."

Our surroundings change again and the three of us are back at my campsite where I levitate a soft mattress from the tent and carefully put Mistake on it.

"I was so worried you wanted to kill me for destroying your mortal body."

"It was merely a shell designed to hold my power at bay in the real world. If I was there at full force the encounter would have ended rather differently and spelled misery for both us and countless others. After you killed Holy Light I had time to gather information and understood what you were trying to do."

"A pretty dumb thing that could have been done much better if only I listened to somepony other than myself."

"Do not be so harsh on yourself. Your failure just brings experience. Speaking of experience, where will you be returning to after you wake up? Who was it that made you open your eyes? Miss Darkness, finally?"

"No, it was Cromach. Chokey is and always will be special but Crom... I feel I need him now in the same way I needed Chokey before. The lucky part is that it looks like he needs me as well. I choose not to think too hard about that."

"As well as I know you I can say that is a good decision."

"At least I can finally say I'm doing something right."

Void doesn't say anything and looks at Mistake.

"How come he is not gone like the other memories? He looks like you did when you visited my temple last time."

"Well, he's real and pretty badly hurt. He's a part of myself which got a taste the real world and liked it so I keep him around. He controls my magic and, apparently, my vision while I deal with the gods and divinity thing. We got into a little disagreement and the current bad guy had his way with him."

"Current bad guy?"

"You didn't really think that I would spend my free time inside my head instead of hanging out with Crom and Chokey, did you? I'm here because Crowley tortured Mistake and both of us passed out from the pain."

"How thoughtless of me. Can I help in any way?"

"Come here and kill Crowley. He somehow got hold of some frozen phoenix egg and Nightmare is trying to get access to the world through him after I locked it out by killing Holy, your physical body, and myself. Speaking of the egg, he said some old book linked you to it."

Void blinks and raises both eyebrows.

"I have no idea what it is. My only guess is that if it is Nightmare's power than it might feel similar to mine or yours. As for locking Nightmare away... I thought about it and believe it to be impossible."

"What? But I... I did it. Nightmare had no more powerful outlets, no avatars."

"There will always be broken souls listening to the voices of their fears. They might be weak but step by step Nightmare will attempt to come back. It might take centuries or millenia but unless stopped at every point it will eventually create similar circumstances as last time."

"So... what I fought for was... pointless?"

"It helped assure few more generations will have a chance to live. You are an immortal now as well, young alicorn. Happiness and stability are not gained, they are only held. If you wish to stay happy then you will have to keep working for it over and over."

Chokey will die. Crom will die. He knows. He knows I know.

"How-how would you deal with things if you didn't have Scream?"

"Before I met Scream I was alone. My aspect and, frankly, the personality of my young self were not the most interesting for mares or stallions. I must admit I got incredibly lucky and, realizing that, I have been by Scream's side whenever she needed it... almost. Well, you know the rest."

"Yeah. Gotta hope I find a nice alicorn for myself as well then one day. Or at least one who wouldn't throw rocks at me."

"Enjoy what you have and remember what you had, young one-"

"-Don't dwell on what will never be. I know," I interrupt him. It's something I told to both Chokey and Heavy when I apologized to them for killing Sharp Biscuit.

No reason to mull over it now.

"So, no coming here and killing Crowley?" I continue.

"No physical body yet. It takes me a long time to regrow one due to the limitations of my magic. My alicorn form would probably kill most living beings in the vicinity if I came."

"Meh. Any idea how to heal four broken limbs with only destructive divine power at my disposal?"

"As I said, it is simply power. Try what you tried here in the real world. Our aspects shape our abilities and since you steal power without it taking you over you might be able to reap the benefits."

"Thanks, Void."

"I am glad I found you, young one. If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me."

"Buried under Scream's tail?"

"Indeed," Void nods, unphased, "Be sure to remove your griffon lover's instrument from your throat before you do so though, it might be difficult to understand you otherwise."

"Damn."

"Scream loves to taunt me in a very similar fashion. I am used to it."

"Heh, I hope I see you soon under better circumstances, Void."

"Good luck, Blazing. May you return home safe and sound from your current trial."

Bowing to him, I'm surprised to find out he repays me the gesture. One smile later he burns away in his signature purple and black flames, leaving me and Mistake alone.

Feeling Mistake has suffered long enough during our talk, I focus my power and resume my attempt to heal him. With bones creaking, he groans and cries but after the final snap his twitching stops.

"-rry," he whispers.

"Go to sleep, idiot," I say, smiling.

Sudden shift in reality takes both of us back to the asylum, namely to the head psychiatrist's office where a cot made from clothes and a sleeping bag serves to accommodate the black unicorn. It seems that my little traitor worked hard to make a place for himself inside my head as well.

One last time I look into the big mirror. Yep, bronze coat, short light grey and blonde mane recovering from being burned, featherless wingbones slowly regrowing bronze fur as well, patches of fur falling out on my body, all still there.

What's new are the narrowed eyes of somepony determined to obliterate every obstacle between him and his goal.

"Harmony was right. If I want my peace I have to work for it."

I blink.

My eyes open to the familiar black and white world of reality.

Time to end this, guns blazing.


	13. Love Not Even Gods Can Deny, Or-?

[Blazing's Entry]

Dear diary,

I don't need you anymore. One day that might change again but for now there are those with whom I'd love to spend more time rather than locking my thoughts into a book.

Might?

I'm sure we'll meet again. After all, I'm not the most stable of all stallions but I'm getting better.

Blazing Light.

[End Entry]

* * *

My focus is sharp as steel as my blind-o-vision reveals I'm in a completely unknown place. Since my head is the only thing I can move without passing out again, I carefully measure the area.

Door, short plank of-

*Ding!*

-metal serving as a bed.

Note to self - don't try to use head to assess the hardness of materials.

Well, now I have a minor headache.

So, door, bed, table. Since I live in a black and white world let's just say the door is pink, the table is midnight blue, and the bed is white with red polka dots because why the hay not?

 _What now? Right! Healing._

"Buuuuuuckkkkerooni!" my curse ends in a groan as the divine power I pour into my legs turns out to be much stronger than expected. Apparently, being visited by Void even in my head gave me quite a lot to manage.

The problem was mostly the surprise, not the volume of power. I dealt with far worse in the past. After several deep breaths the divinity in me listens and starts realigning bones and mending torn ligaments.

"AAAAAAAAAARGH!"

It doesn't feel much better.

After an eternity of pain and unfettered misery other ponies would call at most five minutes I spit blood from my mouth and stand up, cursing every deity imaginable for not having a sexy nurse to inject me with so much morphine I think I'm a rubber ducky.

On the other heavily drugged hoof, this way I will remember my goal to kill Crowley instead of trying to make out with him.

Stumbling around the small room, I knock on the walls only to see that they are made of metal just like the bed. I don't really need to explore more to know that the door probably won't be chocolate.

Tiny rooms, metal but light furniture, distant humming of...

...silent turbines allowing an airship to hover above ground without being noticed.

Since I doubt I've been rescued by mirror Twilight's army or Icy Gaze's barely-legal airspace protection company slash mafia, I have to assume I was right during the raid on Ironclaw and Crowley indeed does have a stealthy airship.

No time like the present then to start blowing holes in the hull...

...and become the world's fastest pizza delivery. I turn my head to my empty wingbones.

"Nope!"

With the sole image of a thestral and a griffon in front of my mind's eyes I decide to test how far my recovery got while I was unconscious. Since healing myself was, while painful, simple I focus the cold part of my power me and others dubbed Despair on the door and pull.

The door obediently rips part of the nearest wall out as well right before crumpling like a piece of paper. The shocked griffon soldier standing on the other side and now staring right at me with beak wide open through the hole gets to play dodgeball, I mean dodgedoor, for one brief moment. Unfortnately for him, he loses and the impact of a metal ball thrown at a velocity known only to sleepwalkers from clifftop villages smears parts of his ribcage on the other end of a small corridor.

"Yep," I mumble after seeing the corridor with the same looking doors leads to staircases on both sides heading up and down, "Definitely just like Lightbringer. Either a stolen blueprint or a ship from the same assembly line."

Let's say the corridor is light blue and the griffon's insides dripping down the wall are green.

Knowing the layout of the ship way too well, I head straight to the captain's cabin which should be on the port... bow... starboard... the front damn part of the ship's inner deck. Strangely enough, me stomping through the corridor ready to blow somepony up doesn't bring any attention.

I rip the captain's door from its hinges, mostly for fun rather than testing purposes. I have far too much power for any normal being to stand against me so I have to use it while I can. All I can hope for is that this isn't just some random surge caused by Void's presence but a sign that I'm recovering if not physically then at least mentally.

I sigh in annoyance as the cabin proves to be empty. I was hoping to just slam Crowley's face into the wall and then throw him into a turbine but the entire room lacks one ex-Black Ops griffon.

 _FINE! I'll see what's going on first._

A quick search of the rooms on the inner deck reveals the ship must be almost empty. Almost, however, means not completely.

"WHERE IS EVERYPONY?!" I slam the head of who must be the ship's navigator into his controls.

"Mmmmh!"

*Thud!*

"Speak!"

*Thud!*

"You should be in your cell!" he squeals.

*Thud!*

"I'm not. I'm standing here and asking you where the hay Crowley is!"

*Thud!*

"I'm not telling you any-"

*Thud!*

"In case you haven't noticed I'm just a tad peeved right now, griffon. Do you know what happens when a demigod is tired of all the crap happening to him? Do you like being a donut? I'd sure go for a donut right now."

"Nnnnnngh!" he's shaking but refusing to talk.

I don't want to be mean to that guy, I really don't, but there's only one thing running through my head right now and that is:

"I WANT TO GO HOME!"

In short, I am an alicorn who desperately wants a hug and this griffon is in the way.

Four armed soldiers aim at me as I walk to the outer deck while dragging the navigator by his leg with my twisted arm. A quick one-two gets rid of all of them.

In this case it means one gets thrown against a railing with such force the steel bar splits him in two. The second soldier suffers a concussion which an experienced doctor would describe as 'caused by a thrown navigator'. The third turns to a pillar of ash when he starts shooting, something I only feel as splatters of molten lead on my coat, and meets a gust of flame from my fire wing. The last one assesses the situation well enough and jumps down from the ship himself.

 _You're not warning Crowley so he can run._

His wings freeze in mid-flap and he falls...

...and falls, and falls.

Only the navigator and the stunned soldier remain, both looking at me and trembling.

"I will ask one last time - where is Crowley?"

"H-H-He's d-d-d-down there," the navigator points at the wooden deck, "In the Grand Cathedral."

"We're hovering above the Holy City then, right?"

"Y-Yes."

"Why is he there? No matter how well armed you guys are the Imperial Guard will wreck you."

"He intends to-"

The soldier punches him, grabs a knife from his belt and both the arm and the knife hiss shortly before evaporating. A blackfrost shard impales the soldier's head to the deck.

"Keep talking," I unsummon my wings, "and if you promise to run really far then I'll let you live."

"Crowley wants to kill the young Emperor and the servants who know him personally. If he does that then he'll just assume the Emperor's position with those loyal to him relaying the orders."

"Nopony will follow him if he does that."

"Not if he does that in secret. There are only few of those who have met the young Emperor. If they die then Crowley will easily say he's been the Emperor since his brother died."

"Brother?"

"I assume you don't know much about the Empire, do you?"

"Emperor dies, royal families choose the next one, big festival, life goes on."

"Exactly, but the Empire is vastly larger than your Equestria. Just the Holy City oversizes your Crystal Empire. The logistics and bureaucracy are unimaginable. One griffon can't rule that so the Emperor is mostly a figurehead who decides what needs to be done and those orders get passed onto his servants on lower levels."

"The SHORT version, please!"

"There are at most twenty to thirty griffons who have met with the Emperor personally and most of them are his servants. If Crowley kills those and threatens the royal families who chose the new Emperor after Emhyr's death then noone will stand against him."

"Won't that cause a civil war more than anything?"

"Not if Crowley offers them what they want and didn't get under the old order."

"But... can't any politician just do that? Gain the favor of the families so they would choose him to be the next Emperor."

"NO! What do you think Empire is, a democracy? Crowley isn't just some nobody. He's Emhyr's brother, his own flesh and blood. He was supposed to be the Emperor after Emhyr's death but he refused in favor of his younger brother, Vargaz. Unfortunately, Vargaz was too outgoing for the nobles so they chose the next possible candidate - Emhyr's son. Crowley was against it but since he'd refused already he lost his right."

"So, Crowley is down there, in the Grand Cathedral, killing a small griffon who got sucked into things he didn't even understand?"

"This is all for the future of the Empire."

He really believes that. All the soldiers believe that. Their devotion wasn't something one could simply buy. Griffons die every day just because local rulers want a bit more territory and know the Emperor doesn't have time to deal with them.

Oh, what an unaging Emperor could do...

And that's all Crowley really wants - a brighter future for his kin.

The memory of shadows hunting in the darkness for the few stragglers still resisting the rule of eternal night resurfaces. As much as I love my daughter the circumstances of her birth must never happen again.

"Run," I tell the navigator firmly.

"You-You're really letting me go? No freezing mid-air or anything?"

"No, but I still need to stop Crowley. His existence threatens the entire world in the long term. If you still want to stop me then give it your best shot."

"I'm not stupid."

"Then go."

"Okay," he hovers above the deck for a moment, "You know? You're not that bad for a villain."

My wicked grin mkes him fly like an arrow into the distance.

"Yeah, I'm the bad guy here. Oh well..."

Stuck on an airship hovering in the clouds above Holy City, I ponder whether I'll have to fly down there. The idea of empty space below me makes my stomach tapdance instantly. Having no idea what to do, I return to the navigator's post.

Various screens, dozens of buttons, and levers all around the cockpit don't make me much wiser.

"Can I drive this thing?" I pull a lever experimentally.

The entire ship shakes and stops. Apparently, the way to move this thing is by a combination of controls which would take weeks to learn.

So, about the whole flying thing...

Taking the stairs down to the engineering deck, I follow my sense to a room full of condensed energy. There were some locked doors in the way but they disappeared while I was making sure my power still was flowing as well as before. A huge pink crystal lodged between four pillars in the middle of the room levitates on the spot and the cables leading into the pillars hum with tapped power. A red arrow with the words 'EMERGENCY SHUTDOWN' pointing to a big red button behind a square of glass greets me.

I focus my power on myself and answer the button's greeting with my hoof.

The dying humming of failing machinery is my only companion as black ice covers more and more of myself. For a short while I'm cut off from the rest of existence.

The room looks rather different when I wake up among melting ice fragments, Who would have thought? Slightly less engineery and more OH STARS THERE'S NOTHING LEFT OTHER THAN MANGLED MESS!

Fortunately, one of the holes in the walls leads straight out.

 _Spares me the effort of making one myself._

I walk out straight to a scene of a fight.

A completely frozen scene of a fight.

Several dozen Crowley's high-tech soldiers seem to have been fighting standard griffon soldiers pouring into the building through shattered windows and...

...a barricaded entrance which I unbarricaded rather meteorically.

I've never been one to marvel at architecture but the gigantic throne room decorated with gold, gems, and priceless paintings on the pillars on its sides makes even me nod my head in acknowledgement.

Dusting myself off, I take my first step onto the gold and red carpet leading through the center of the hall towards the raised dais bearing the throne and four figures, two of which I recognize. Unfortunately, the muffled sound of my hoofstep ends the temporary stop of time and Crowley's soldiers immediately start shooting at me.

Hidden behind my flame wings, I question their intelligence as several screams prove that Legion soldiers don't waste their bullets on me but snipe the heavily armored soldiers fighting for Crowley. The sharp smell of vaporized lead leaves the air while the sounds of fighting pick up again. Crowley's soldiers are using pillars and tower shields to create pockets of relative stability but it's obvious they will eventually lose. It is clear that Crowley didn't expect such resistance since the navigator's explanation clearly stated this was a stealth mission. As soldiers of both sides realize I have no intention of turning against any of them they decide to deal with the pressing matter of dodging bullets of the other side.

"BLAZE!"

For a second I wonder whether it's the image I see every time I close my eyelids but the quickly approaching silhouette of Cromach doesn't go away when I blink so I choose to be happy.

"ALICORN!" Crowley roars but has to defend himself from a flurry of quick stabs coming from the unknown adult griffon standing between him and a cowering young one who must be the new Emperor.

"Oh yeah, sorry I wrecked your ship... and your defense position... and most of this place... and some of your troops but it was either that or flying... I hate flying."

Crowley's incoherent scream as he moves too fast for eye to see and shoots three times at the opposing griffon is my only answer. The griffon seems to be ready for Crowley's time manipulation as, while much slower, he predicts the attack and escapes with only straps of his bulletproof vest getting tattered and falling on the floor.

Breathing heavily from the deflected blows, the defending griffon can't finish Crowley off when he clutches his chest and coughs up blood. I flare my blackfrost wings to end this but Crom's talons stop me.

"This is a duel between Vargaz and Crowley. I'm not letting Crowley kill the kid but until that's on the table this is Imperial business."

"Well, when Crowley uses the timeshift thingy again your griffon... Vargaz is going to die. Can we just skip to that part?"

"Crowley can't use the Clockwork Blade too often. It drains its wielder's life force. Plus, the Blade was being researched by Black Ops scientists so Vargaz knows its limits. Trust me."

"How did you get here anyway? Unless I was unconscious for weeks then you really shouldn't have gotten here before me."

"Heh, the mirror world long-distance communication is ways ahead of ours so Antares lent me a glider which took me to the nearest city with a working telephone-"

"Whatnow?"

"It's like telegraph, only you can hear the other person and communicate directly. Think of a long-distance two-way radio and you'll get the idea."

"Cool."

"Heck yeah! So, I called an emergency number which serves for agents stuck in the mirror world, evil Twilight answered, and when I explained things to her and told her you were in danger she immediately shut the main portal down which resulted in me getting spat out in the Everfree forest without weeks of travel. By the way, you should see what mentioning you does to that girl. I think she likes you. After that I sent an express letter to Vargaz and took the first train here. We got this place fortified yesterday and when Crowley just waltzed in unimpeded to kill the Emperor he got surrounded pretty fast."

"ALL IN VAIN!" laughs Crowley, standing over groaning Vargaz with blue fire coursing through his feathers.

Thanks to my reflexive response Vargaz has the chance to roll away when Crowley's rapier buries itself into the tiled floor. I now know what Crowley can do and it's terrifying.

"Hey Crom, how do duel rules work around one of the fighters being immortal and using that to not take damage from overusing a magical artefact?"

"I'm not exactly sure but- hey, is that a giant claw?"

My world blurs when a massive blue arm made of raw energy comes from the ground and its talons wrap around me.

"Help Vargaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaz!" I scream as the arm swings me from side to side.

 **"...this is the end..."**

 **"...alicorn..."**

 **"...you have defied me but that ends here..."**

 **"...finally, I have an avatar worthy of my might..."**

"Oh no you don't!"

Inside my mind I pull and pull and pull. The ethereal arm lets go of me but a set of black and white chains bind it to my horn.

 **...oh, so you finally wish to fight?...**

 **...you wish to steal my power?...**

 **...THEN TAKE IT!...**

I was expecting Nightmare to fight me for control. I was expecting tricks. I wasn't expecting the full brunt of a god returning to this world through a pinhole.

My throat burns and as I shield myself with my wings there's nothing aside from the wingbones. Through blue flames pouring into me I see Cromach interrupt Crowley and Vargaz's duel by swinging at Crowley from behind with his battleaxe. The swing is dodged using the time rewinding ability and Crowley collapses on the floor. Crom gets ready to strike again but Vargaz points towards me. Crom's eyes go wide, he drops his axe, and flies straight to me.

The tension of a balloon ready to pop lessens slightly when Crom steps into the flow of blue flames forming the arm holding me. The moment of respite is brief but long enough for me to realize several things.

As long as I hold the Nightmare at bay Crowley can't use his divine power.

.

Holding it for too long will destroy me right when my goal is within reach.

.

.

I must not let go. I can't let my own happiness threaten the world.

.

.

.

I close my eyes not to see the griffon I failed.

.

.

.

.

The griffon who has got none of my inhibitions and no loyalty towards the world.

.

.

.

.

.

The griffon who grasps my disfigured arm with his real one.

The flow of power stops.

Blue fires are raging all around us but for now there's a little spot where there is a griffon and an alicorn holding hooves-hands-talons-something.

"Eye of the storm, eh?" Crom grins.

"What are you doing, you idiot?"

"Well, I figured that if Crowley can hold all this stuff then you can, I don't know, pour some of it into me until you're able to."

"Crowley's existence is just giving Nightmare time to come here through him. He controlled nothing compared to what I'm doing now. You are a mortal, I know what the stuff does to you. I felt it when I fought Luna in Ponyville without Discord's power. It will kill you."

"Can't say that without trying first," he lets go of my arm and jumps backwards into the flames.

 _Moron moron moron moron moron._

 **"...feed me more of your friends..."**

 **"...struggle..."**

 **"...fight..."**

 **"...lose..."**

I can't focus due to the voice whispering in my head. With seconds passing I know that my every breath brings Crom closer to death. Perhaps I should just submit to the Nightmare. It might give Crom time to run and the princesses could call Void and the others to destroy me.

I must. Crom can't die here. As I close my eyes the howling of voices drifts away.

 **Then save him instead of whining about how impossible it is!**

My eyes snap open. The eye of the storm is back, wider than before, and a lone black unicorn is standing in front of me with brightly glowing orange cracks running through his horn.

 **"...you cannot win..."**

Mine and Mistake's mouths move in sync.

 **That won't work this time.**

 _That won't work this time._

In my mind I grasp for the feeling of a soul slipping away and divert a torrent of power choking Cromach. I don't see anything past blue fire all around but I can sense what's happening.

Control the flow... don't give in... when it's too much just let Crom bear a piece of this burden... over and over... he can take it... he will bear it as long as I don't give up and keep holding the god at bay.

I know it.

Suddenly, it's all over. No fire, no sounds, no feeling in my legs, nopony to lean on-

My fall on the floor is stopped by a white wing leading me with an irresistible strength as I drop like a wet rag on Crom's back. His fast heartbeat and heavy breathing tell my exhausted and sluggish mind he's alright, hurt but alright.

 **A bit of both. Perhaps things are not only black and white.**

I smile as colours return to me and my blind world turns back to mundane one.

 _Yeah, yeah, I get it._

Vibrant red blood is dripping from a longsword Vargaz pulls out of Crowley's chest. With his last strength the dying griffon puts both arms on Vargaz's shoulders, smiles, and says:

"I... knew... it should have... been... you."

Nightmare's voice whispers through the demolished cathedral.

 **"...you mortals will never learn. I have agents everywhere..."**

 **"...there is no victory..."**

"Buck... you," I mumble, "I'm half dead and drooling on my pet griffon's neck. I call this a bucking victory."

"Blaze..."

"Let's go home."

"Yes, buddy."

* * *

And that was it. Vargaz's forces didn't press charges about me destroying the most sacred place in the Griffon Empire but politely asked us to go back to Equestria while ensuring us that our next visit would be far more pleasant as long as it took place several centuries later.

Hah, joke's on them!

The train ride interjected by a short boat trip took nearly two weeks but in the end we arrived back here in Canterlot.

The warm air of coming summer is nothing compared to the heatwaves in the Empire so I let the wind pleasantly flow through my coat.

"What now?" I ask uncertainly when we're down on the platform. Truth be told, I have been thinking a lot about what to do now but I have no clear result despite the time.

"Waaaait for it," Crom holds his real arm up and starts counting.

.

.

.

.

.

A trio of white unicorns wearing gold-plated armor surrounds us, slipping from the crowd of ponies leaving the train.

"Six. That was quick," Crom grins and turns to me, "I was sure Vargaz would send a letter explaining what happened and estimating the time needed for us to get back."

"We are to accompany you to the castle," says one of the unicorns while eyeing me suspiciously, "And you are to wear this."

I look at the suppression ring and grind my teeth, making all guards take a step back, but Crom's wing on my back is all I need to just sigh in complete exhaustion from everything and slip it on my regrowing horn.

As the guards take a deep breath I let my wings change from orange plumes of fire blending with my coat to creaking black ice. One chokes on his own spit and starts coughing, one levitates a spear which Mistake immediately rips out of his mental grasp, and the last one just stares with eyes wide and mouth open.

"New recruits?" I ask Cromach while the suppression band levitates cleanly back to the leading guard.

Crom nods and snickers.

"Come on, guys. You have my word nothing bad is going to happen."

"But-but-but-but-but-"

"Private Riot Shield, are you mouthing off to your superior?"

"B-b-b-but the princesses-"

"The princesses surely know that it is not in your power to stop Blaze from doing what he wants and this is just another test for both him and you. Let's go, that's an order!"

His firm voice makes even me take a step forward before my mind catches up. Without as much as a word and eliciting a surprised smile from Crom, I nuzzle his neck and follow him to the castle.

The large double door to the throne room swings open and both royal sisters look up from the servants they were talking to.

 **Those are not friendly faces.**

 _Hmmmm..._

 **What are you planning?**

 _Oh, nothing..._

I feel Mistake sigh inside my head.

 **I'll watch your back.**

 _Thanks._

As much as I need to hold back not to throw my chance for peace away I'm way tired of not being in control of my life.

Ignoring the guards and everything around, I walk straight towards the throne.

"Blazing Light..." the sisters say in unison.

Time to put into words what I've been planning during the trip back here.

I bow.

"Your Highnesses, I have no doubt you have recieved some sort of report about what happened in the Empire and I am sure you want clarification. However," I step back to be able to see both of them at once, "Ever since I came to Canterlot I've been killed, resurrected, betrayed, mind-controlled, and asked to deal with things far beyond my control or power. Due to sheer stupid luck I got here and now I HAVE the strength to stop it and move in my direction. What is more important though is that I do have said direction. The two of you might want to worry about politics and other big words like marmelade but I... I want to spend a day outside to walk off my wooden ass from sitting in a train for far too long. After that I want to eat something that didn't come from a tray and wasn't served using the same gloves as a fried chicken. To end all this nonsense, I WILL curl up in a bed with the griffon I love to my overused horseshoes. That is all that will happen today whether you like it or not. Tomorrow, you can have your audience."

The sisters stare at me but I don't look away, not this time.

"Blazing Light, since we do not wish to provoke any incident we will not force the issue as long as you don't cause trouble," says Luna, "Agent Cromach, on the other hoof, has responsibilities to both Equestria and the Empire which he-"

"I do not," says Crom firmly and both sisters gulp.

"You are the main link between-" starts Celestia.

"And I can assure you nothing major will happen today as the Empire has got enough of its problems these days. If that is not enough for you then," he takes a deep breath, "then you can consider this my resignation."

"What?"

All three of us are looking at him now, eyes wider and wider. He smiles at me.

"I made a promise and I intend to keep it. I will stand by this pony's side no matter what and his word means to me more than any royal order from alicorn or a griffon. If that means I have to choose sides then my choice is clear."

Luna leans her head to Celestia and whispers something.

The solar princess answers and smiles.

"I believe you if you say the matter can wait. We will arrange a table for you in the Gilded Hall for this evening and cover the bill."

"Thank you," Crom bows, walks over, and nudges me, "What about Darky?"

"Does she know I'm alive?"

"Nope. How about we make it a surprise?"

"Deal! Seating for three then, please."

Smiling again at the sisters, I bow and we leave the throne room.

"Kinda anticlimactic, eh?" asks Crom as we stroll through the marble halls.

"I'm still waiting for the meteor strike."

"Well, is it possible it's really over?"

I shake my head.

"Nightmare will return, the only question is when."

"Soon?"

"Probably not."

"Let somepony else deal with it next time then. We're not paid enough for this."

"I'm not paid at all."

"Moocher."

"Enabler!"

"But seriously, did you have plan in case the sisters disagreed?"

"Actually, I did and I intend to go with it anyway."

"Oh?"

"Harmony showed me a vision Heavy Hoof becoming a baron and taking over Order of the Silver Sun. I would like to talk to him about helping us train ponies who could stand up to enemies possessing divine power and other special traits. As far as I know Shadowstep and Cross are in Manehattan with him and they have enough experience as well. The Order is a semi-government organization anyway so you would still be working for Vargaz and Luna as well."

"That's... actually a good idea. Antares went there as well."

"So, are you in?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

"I guess not."

"Trust me. I will be by your side as long as life allows me to," he wraps his wing around me as several blue sparks run through his feathers.


End file.
